


Not What You Wanted

by KyloInTheSheets



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Armitage Hux is Not Nice, Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bondage, Chicago, Daddy Kink, Dry Humping, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Fashion Shows, Fluff, Gun Violence, HEA, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Hospitals, Knife Violence, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Misunderstandings, Protective Ben Solo, Rey Has Abandonment Issues, Rey Needs A Hug, Shooting, Slow Burn, Smut, adding tags as I go, an absurd amount of fluff, author is obsessed with fluff, but there’s a happy ending, i dont know anything about the real world, i guess you could say it’s love at first sight, physical assault, watch me pretend to know about fashion shows
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:47:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 73,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24651070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloInTheSheets/pseuds/KyloInTheSheets
Summary: Rey's life is the definition of ordinary. She lives alone and works as a make-up artist during fashion shows for a magazine company. But when an uncalled situation occurs and Rey is forced to walk down the runway, a certain tall and dark-haired photographer catches her eye.————————————————Based upon the prompt: reylo AU where runway model rey catches the eye of the editor in chief of a fashion magazine ben solo
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 50
Kudos: 216





	1. The Camera Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey catches the eye of a handsome photographer.

"Jesus Christ, hurry up unless you wanna make me late for my show."

Rey rolled her eyes for what she guessed to be the twentieth time that evening, not caring in the slightest who saw. Including the double zero-sized model sitting in front of her with a showy, delicate, tight red dress just barely still hanging onto her body.

Comments like these were what Rey dealt with daily, and the whole thing was inevitable. They  _ were _ models, after all. Never cared for any other soul's pleasure; just themselves.

The not-surprisingly bitchy model's face was accompanied with a beautiful make-up look by Rey; it was her biggest talent. She started working with the 'Resistance' magazine in Chicago a few months ago as a make-up artist primarily for their fashion shows which were actually a huge attraction. The company had grown to be one of the most popular clothing magazines in the city. Of course Rey would never be able to afford anything in the pages, but she considered herself lucky to be working for such an elite company. One who paid well.

Well... lucky except for moments like these.

"I could get you fired ya know. You could be replaced like that," she snapped her fingers, "whereas  _ my _ position would be quite difficult to fill."

Obliging to stay silent, Rey pursed her lips and tried to continue working and listen to the crew members around her running frantically and shouting commands. It didn't work, of course as the model in front of her sighed dramatically, "It's okay though. I'm sure some lesser magazine is hiring somewhere outside the city. Who knows? Maybe they're even looking for size 5 models!" She said with a disgusting smirk on her face.

Not wanting to deal with her anymore, Rey stood back. "Okay, you're done."

"Finally," the model grumbled as she made her way closer to the runway.

Rey was no size zero, but she considered herself halfway attractive. She mostly liked her size four body, with a few exceptions, like most people. It's not like she  _ wanted _ to model. All of them were completely self-centered, spending each night with a different guy just for their own pleasure. That's not what she wanted out of life  _ at all. _

Being 24, she had her share of boyfriends who made her believe they were 'the one' only to leave every single time. It was mostly the same every time. Eventually they all grew bored of her. It  _ was _ Chicago after all. She'd never encountered a loyal man in the area.

She didn't know if she ever would.

It's what she wanted though. To find love and feel some kind of belonging. To belong with someone who wants her in return. To have a body next to her in bed making her feel less alone. 

It's what she dreamed of every night. To have a family, which she never really had.

She had no memory of her mom. She was gone before Rey could ever remember her. Her dad stuck around for a little longer before she was put into the foster-care system. Later she learned that he overdosed on heroin which answered her lifelong question of what happened to him.

They said she'd be loved every time she walked up to her new "home." She never was.

The flicker of lights backstage sucked her out of her trance, signaling the nearing commencement of the show. It was mid-April, the show containing new summer pieces and looks that would be considered 'trendy' within weeks. Something she could never call the things she wore.

Just as she started to gather the mess of eyeshadow palettes on the desk, a stage crew member behind her bellowed, "Where the hell is Jess?! She's wearing one of the most expensive looks!! Anyone? Has anybody seen Jess?!"

She smirked to herself, not really knowing why she found the situation funny. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that the big elite company was actually struggling with something. But it was no struggle compared to the struggle that had been her life.

A hand gripped her shoulder from behind and she spun around, completely startled.

It was clearly a crew member. The headset and black tee gave it away. He stared at her with wide eyes and he heaved, "You.." he stopped to catch his breath, "what are you.. a-a size three?" He spoke quickly as if in a hurry.

"U-uh, more of a four but sometimes I can fit into a three." Her tone was coated with confusion for a short time before he revealed his reasoning for the question.

The man scanned his eyes up and down her body and nodded his head slowly as if confirming something within himself.

"Yes, yes okay this will work." He said like he was more talking to himself than he was to her.

"W-what will work?" Rey questioned.

"One of our models didn't show, we don't know why but that doesn't matter right now," he paused taking an extra breath, "you need to fill in.. here." He shoved a dress into her arms which she didn't even realize he'd been holding. "Put it on now and get in line next to the other models." He said before he turned away.

Still utterly confused, Rey grabbed his arm, "Wait! Y-you're saying I'm gonna..  _ model?"  _ It was something she never thought she'd ever say or do.

He shrugged before responding, "We don't have any other choice. Now go, and  _ hurry. _ "

Rey stood in place for a few moments still unsure if this was real before she hurried to the nearest dressing room. As much as she didn't want to model or even like the environment she worked in that much, she still complied. She was paid good money and needed the job.

She slipped on the tight dress and barely had time to even look in the mirror to see how it looked on her. It was shorter than any dress she ever put on, yet it was still gorgeous. It had thin straps and hugged her chest tightly, slightly revealing her small breasts. Purple symmetrical patterns ran down it. 

Before she exited the room she checked her facial appearance in the mirror, hoping she looked presentable enough for a bunch of rich people to watch her walk down the runway. She had a modest amount of makeup on and her chestnut brown hair fell in waves around her shoulders. 

Thankfully, the tall black heels she chose to wear today came in handy because they easily matched the dress. After taking in her appearance one more time, she left the room and rushed over to where she hoped she was supposed to be.

She was lost in everything and started to panic. There were people moving fast in every direction, covering her sight of anywhere she needed to go.

"Rey!"

She turned towards the person who called her name and was relieved to find Poe rushing up to her. 

Poe started out as a colleague but quickly became her best friend. Rey wondered every once in a while if they would ever date, but the thought quickly diminished when he came out to her. It didn't change anything, thankfully. She still loved him and was a proud best friend.

He stood in front of her with the same confusion in his eyes that she had moments ago.

"Rey, what are you wearing?" 

She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Mainly because there were too many words that needed to be said. Finally, after Poe raised his eyebrows trying to draw out her explanation, she found the beginning.

"I'll explain it all later, but I-uh do you know where all the models are right now?" She spoke quickly with wide eyes.

Poe blinked. "Uh, yeah. They're uh- they're that way," he pointed to his right. "Wait.. why? Are you.. are you modeling?" He said with a small smile on his face.

Rey returned the grin and admitted it but she still hid the bundle of nerves that were threatening to make the smile disappear, "Yes, I am. Like I said, I'll talk to you after the show. I promise."

Poe nodded and she turned towards the direction he had pointed her in. 

"Go get 'em girl!" She heard Poe shout as she strutted towards what could possibly be the biggest night of her life. This time, the smile came naturally.

A million thoughts ran through her head as she neared her destination. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. 

What if somehow this was going to be  _ life-changing _ .

No. This was a one-time thing. Jess would be present at the next show. She was probably just too drunk or fried to come to work. All eyes would be on Rey tonight and next time she'd go back to working in the shadows.

But then she remembered what modeling life was. It was  _ no life.  _ And she loved makeup. She wouldn't have taken the job if she didn't.

When she finally found the other models, she settled on the thought that she'd model and live a little tonight and then things would go back to normal afterwards.

And she was okay with that.

A crew member spotted her and directed her to her spot in line. She nodded her thanks before drifting her gaze to the model in front of her.

The one she had just put makeup on moments ago. The bitchy one who constantly insulted her without any realization of how much her comments hurt sometimes.

Rey silently prayed that she wouldn't notice her but she cursed under her breath when she turned around and looked down at her. She never realized how  _ tall _ she was.

Trying to put on a brave face but failing miserably, Rey stared back at her waiting for some snarky comment. But all she did was smirk.  _ And then _ she spoke.

"Don't fall, chicken legs." With that she turned back around, leaving Rey with her thoughts screaming  _ don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. _

When she finally got the butterflies in her stomach to calm a little, she heard a feminine voice from out on the runway speak into the microphone to start the show.

"Welcome everyone! I'm Leia Organa and I'm the CEO of Resistance. It's a pleasure to be here today and I'm beyond excited to debut some of our newest summer looks coming to stores soon. All of the designs will be present in our magazine of course and will be available for purchase online as well. Well, thank you all for being here and please enjoy the show!" A subtle set of applause erupted and Rey felt the butterflies' wings flap more rapidly. 

The music started which caused Rey to jolt and a crew member gave the first model the signal to go.

_ Holy shit this is really happening. _

_ You'll be okay. Just.. don't fall and smile. _

_ Don't fall, smile. _

_ Don't fall, smile. _

_ Don't fall, smile. _

Before she realized it, it was almost her turn with the bitchy model in front of her being next. When she was given the go ahead, Rey was sure she was going to puke. She straightened her posture and prepared to put on a fake smile. All she could do now was wait for her signal.

And so when she received it, she prepared for the worst. That she'd be sick as soon as she rounded the corner. But she wasn't.

When she walked out onto the shiny white runway a sudden strike of confidence hit her. She tried to smile before realizing she was already grinning stupidly. 

Walking down the runway in a stunning dress with every eye in the room on her and the flash of cameras everywhere felt like something she'd never felt before.

She felt  _ alive. _

When she reached the end of the runway, she paused to pose while meeting the gazes of many people in the room. All probably stupidly wealthy. And she was at the center of attention. Someone who couldn't be farther away from the word 'wealthy.' 

Just as she was about to turn and walk back to her ordinary life behind the scenes, she met the gaze of another man in the room seated right in front of her. Only this time, she couldn't look away.

He was gorgeous. Black hair framed his face. His  _ perfect _ face, even with a slightly larger than normal nose. Moles were scattered around his face and brown eyes bored into her soul.

He stared at her in a peculiar way; it was like he was  _ studying _ her. Looking deep into her mind to learn everything there was to know about her. 

A camera sat in his hands, but it wasn't being put to use. Why? Wasn't that his  _ job _ ?

His gaze sent tingles throughout her entire body and she didn't know how long she'd been standing there. It could've been hours for all she knew. The thought of embarrassing herself in front of everyone is what got her to step back into reality and give her the strength to break his gaze and walk back to her life.

When she was almost out of sight, she saw a flash in her peripherals and heard the click of a camera. She swore it came from directly behind her.

-

Rey sat back at her makeup station staring down into her lap. She hadn't gotten the strength or energy to take off the dress yet even though she was probably breaking the rules for keeping it on way longer than needed, when she could easily ruin the rich masterpiece.

Everytime she went to stand and change back into her clothes from Goodwill, her thoughts trickled back to the camera man. That's all he was. Just some random photographer who probably fucked a different woman each night. It's how they all were, he was likely no different.

But something about him made her heart beat a little faster and her limbs go numb. Somehow the looks exchanged between them felt more intimate than many of the relationships she'd been a part of.

She hoped that when the magazine issue came out, she'd be in it and he could see her in the dress again. Maybe he'd lust over her. Maybe he'd go to his room and-

_ No. _

God, she was so stupid. One look at him and he dominated her mind. Nothing else would ever happen. Why would it?

Sighing, she reached down to the lowest drawer of her desk and pulled out a few magazines with the word 'RESISTANCE' in bold font across the top. Parts of letters covered by gorgeous women wearing their clothes. For a second she imagined herself on the cover.

Realizing the complete non-reality of her thoughts, she ripped the cover off the front of one and shoved it into the trash.

"For what it's worth, I'd only buy one of those if it was you on the cover."

First she thought she imagined it. Her mind creating a deep, sexy voice to match the face of the man she couldn't unsee. But when she looked into the mirror in front of her to see him standing behind her, she thought differently.

Her eyes went wide and lips parted before she stood and turned to face him. But she was met with nothing but darkness. He wore a black suit, not a hint of white in his attire. She craned her neck to look up at him and he smirked in return.

He gave her the same exact look as he did the first time. But this time they could allow it to last longer. 

"Who uh- who're you?" She eventually cut the awkward silence.

He continued to stare at her for a long moment, his gaze flickering all over her face and resting on her lips. "I just thought I'd come find you and tell you how beautiful you looked out there," he nodded his head back towards the runway.

Her heart fluttered in her chest at his words. But then she thought better of herself. Every single man she'd ever given herself to was gone. And no matter how charming or loyal they seemed, they always left. She thought of him to be the type to fuck the first decently attractive model he saw, which made zerp sense why he was wasting his time on her.

"Oh. U-uh, thank you that's very kind of you to say. But I-uh..." She found the next words seemingly difficult to say, "I'm not a regular model. I never have before tonight, actually. I'm not what you're looking for, sorry." Her lips pressed into a thin line and gave a small smile as she waited for him to leave like she expected. Like she knew he would. So she was surprised when he actually responded.

"How do you know what I seek?" He questioned her. She opened her mouth to respond but then closed it again, so he continued. "You don't know me."

He was right. She didn't know him. But she knew men in general and there wasn't much to go on to be able to say that he was any different.

Chuckling, she retorted, "The skanky full-time models are probably already at the bar if that's who you're looking for. Trust me when I say that I'm not what you wanted. I'm not who you wanna leave with tonight. Because you don't know me either." Her breath hitched when she took her next breath, stealing away all the confidence she built up during her mini speech.

She fully expected him to walk away, never to be seen again but of course he proved her wrong again because he stood in the same spot and grinned, nodding slightly.

"I think I'll have to disagree with you on that one." The man stepped forward so their chests were an inch away from touching. She wanted to close the gap so badly, but thought better of it. His voice continued to rumble, "Maybe I was looking for the girl that had me so caught up in her beauty that I only got one picture of her."

Suddenly, her breath became shaky. Before she could find any words to respond to  _ that _ , he backed away a few steps and she instantly missed the heat of his chest right in front of her.

Her lips parted once again when she heard his final words, "There's a pretty good chance my boss will be upset with me since I didn't get many shots of the prettiest woman on the floor," he looked her up and down, "but I think it was worth it."

With that, he turned his back to her and walked down the dimly lit backstage area. 

She still watched him when he was a decent distance away. As he was about to leave her sight completely, he turned his head back to her for one final look. 

She swore she saw him wink at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter of my new story! Idk if it actually sucks but hopefully not ig, lol. Stay tuned for more!
> 
> Link below shows the dress Rey wears on the runway
> 
> https://www.lucyinthesky.com/shop/starstruck-strappy-dress-in-lilac-iridescence?usd&gclid=CjwKCAjwlZf3BRABEiwA8Q0qq9SUdMfvR5j2HCf1wPPtBKUwrWzxmL8Be-JRyUENHsNDO1rqwcCz0RoCTLgQAvD_BwE


	2. Her Savior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey suddenly becomes a lot more thankful that she met him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who stuck around for a second chapter, thank you!!
> 
> I don’t have a specific updating schedule but I’ll definitely try to have at least a chapter up per week.

(TW: Sexual Assault Attempt)

Rey was more introverted than extroverted. She wasn't the party type in high school and that didn't change in college either. Every once in a while though, her few close friends would convince her to go out for "just one drink" at the club.

Tonight though, she didn't need to be convinced.

The rush of adrenaline she got from the runway and that man still hadn't left her body as she strutted down the street to the club near the venue where the show was. It's where all the regular-time models went almost every night to get ridiculously drunk and snort cocaine until they didn't remember what year it was. Those weren't Rey's intentions, of course. It never had been.

But the rush felt so good, it was like a high. And if she went back to her tiny, lonely apartment right away, she'd feel normal again. It was kind of nice to feel important just for one night, and she didn't want it to end just yet. A couple drinks would surely do the trick.

As soon as she pulled open the club doors, she already felt eyes on her. Eyes on the tight dress she still wore from the show. There was a good chance she would get in big trouble if the dress was ruined, but it wasn't like she had anything else to wear. Her clothes were nowhere near the standards here.

Immediately, she made her way to the bar and ordered a Gin and Tonic which she downed rather quickly. She found herself scanning her gaze around the room searching for a certain tall gentleman. Preferably one with black shiny hair and the eyes of a hawk.

The only people she recognized were a few of the models from earlier and she's not surprised in the slightest that they were all grinding on some random guys' dick.

Not feeling too fancy, Rey called for two shots of tequila, making the wheels in her brain turn a little slower. The night she had called for a celebration.

A celebration in which she celebrated... alone.

But with the constant replays of the night flashing in her head, she hardly seemed alone. The blaring music in the club only intensified her memories of the runway, as did the dress she still wore. She savored the feeling she had when she strutted down the runway, when every set of eyes was on her. Especially his set of eyes.

When Rey's thoughts trickled back to him, the feeling grew stronger. Saying that his gaze sent a million sparks and chills of intimacy throughout her body would be an understatement. There was simply no way to explain the emotion to its true extent.

His words lingered in her mind...

_"...the girl that had me so caught up in her beauty."_

_"I didn't get many shots of the prettiest woman on the floor."_

_"...it was worth it."_

_Worth._

When had she ever been worth anything to anyone? Sure, she had a few close friends who she knew cared for her but would they ever put a halt to their lives for her? That question she could answer with ease.

And yes, she had a couple boyfriends who she was decently fond of, but they never stuck around long enough for her to fall in love with them. Love wasn't something Rey had ever experienced or something anyone had ever expressed towards her and she accepted long ago that it might be that way forever. She was Pluto - always there but never really seemed important.

_"How do you know what I seek?"_

She didn't. But she did know that it wasn't her. Meaning she still couldn't understand why he bothered going up to her in the first place. And yet she still found herself searching for him in the crowd of men whose nights would end with pleasure.

Her gaze was a fishing line, continuously diving back into the sea of bodies trying to find and hook onto the tall man with amber eyes.

The back of the club was where she settled her eyes next, only finding drunk models who may as well been dancing on poles. She almost reverted her gaze back to the shot glass in front of her which seemed to be her only friend at the time, before the sight of the back of a head signaled all kinds of alarms in her brain. This particular head had luscious matte black locks, which she immediately recognized to be him.

The thing that - for some reason she couldn't explain - crumpled her heart like a piece of paper, was the manicured hand of a woman casually resting itself on his bicep.

_Why am I even surprised_ was her dominant thought.

But _why do I even care_ wasn't far behind.

He was a goddamn man whore, just like the rest of them.

Rey let out a soft groan before turning back to the bar, tipping her head back and letting her eyes close to down another shot.

It took everything she had not to turn around and see whatever he could be doing. Her eyes were practically burning at the attempt. Or maybe it was just the alcohol.

Eventually she admitted defeat to herself and turned her head back towards where she saw him last. Her heart started beating rapidly before she could even realize why.

His gaze was _locked_ onto hers.

It was as if the key was lost and they were trapped looking into each other's eyes. She couldn't avert if she wanted to.

Her head felt like someone was on the inside of it, pounding her skull from the inside out with a hammer. Suddenly having a hard time breathing in the warm air of the club, she found the strength to break their bond and make her way outside to catch her breath.

Rey walked a couple of sidewalk squares down the street to an alley and let herself lean against the wall of the building. She found herself enjoying the cool Chicago air, which she usually didn't favor. Her head still buzzed though, she wasn't anywhere near sober. With that, she let her eyes flutter shut, still leaning against the wall and not noticing her predator.

She was fluttering between consciousness and unconsciousness when she distantly felt a large hand wrap around her arm, similar to how the woman touched her mystery man. It could've been a dream for all she knew, as she was pretty close to passing out. She realized that she hoped he was the one touching her.

A deep voice at her ear made her aware of what was happening. Because it wasn't his voice.

"Hey there pretty little thing, why don't you come with me?"

Her eyes shot open faster than the speed of light and found a man with shaggy brown hair and piercing blue eyes in her face. She didn't even realize that his hand was still on her until he gripped it tighter, making her wince.

The man must've not noticed the pure fear in her eyes, or he simply didn't care because he raised his other hand to her breast and began to grope her. The hand that had been holding her arm moved upwards and held her to the wall with his arm horizontally across her collarbone.

Rey's head started pounding again, this time in distress when she found she couldn't move her legs either. He had every part of her body pinned against the cool brick. But not her mouth...

She let out a piercing scream, but it only lasted seconds before his hand shot up and smothered her mouth, covering it. It was then she felt the tears streaming down her cheeks as she lost hope. Damn her for lingering in an area where nobody was around.

Continuing to wrestle turned out to be a mistake because he eventually got fed up with her enough that he brought her head closer to his before slamming it back into the solid wall. Rey cried out in pain into the man's palm. In that moment she wanted to be dead before he could touch her again.

"You stupid fucking bitch," he growled in her face, breath stained of alcohol, "I didn't think you'd actually be this worthless. Ohhh, I'm going to have so much fun with you."

Rey's eyes were pinched shut and her brain started to fuzz. Her ears were ringing and she wasn't picking up what he was saying anymore. This asshole wasn't allowing oxygen into her body. He was winning and there wasn't anything she could do about it.

And then she was on her hands and knees gulping down air like a lifeline. When she had the strength, she fell so her ass was on the ground and looked up to find her predator. Only this time, he was the prey. And her photographer was the predator.

Ears still ringing, she couldn't pick up on what he was saying. The only way she knew she was okay was when she saw her predator, now prey, passed out on the cold hard concrete.

Her eyes traveled up her savior's body and met his gaze. If looks could kill, she would have dissolved into acid by now. She could practically feel the fury fuming from his body. It was in his voice, too.

"What are you doing here?" he said with a murderous tone. It was then that shoe saw his clenched fists. Like if he dug his nails into his skin hard enough he'd find the ability to feel sane.

Rey stuttered, not knowing how to respond to the man who may have just saved her life.

"I-I... uh."

He raised an eyebrow, trying to draw the words out of her.

"I was just.. I-uh."

"You could've been seriously hurt you know. If it weren't for me, he would still have his filthy hands on you." he gestured to the other man on the ground. "Or worse," he murmured the last two words.

"I-I know. Thanks." She said as she wiped at the tear streaks that stained her face.

Seeing this, his expression softened only slightly.

"Mhm. Alright, come on." He extended a hand towards her, telling her to take it. When her palm met his, her breath hitched and she desperately hoped he didn't notice.

When she was on her feet, his hand left hers and almost immediately started to sway. Before she could hit the ground, her arms clutched onto his and tried to regain her balance.

"Woah there, let's get you home."

He dropped down a little to put one arm under her knees before picking her up and resting the other arm under her back. Warmth suddenly engulfed her.

Rey nuzzled her head into his chest, wishing she could stay there for the rest of her days. The steady beating of his heart right by her ear was almost enough to make her fall asleep.

It was all too short-lived because one hand left her body momentarily before she felt herself being lowered down into a seat. Her eyes jolted open at the sound of the car door shutting and turned to see him getting into the driver's seat beside her.

The engine rumbled to life and he gave her a quick glance before pulling away from the nightmare that had taken over her evening.

"Can you put your address into the GPS?" He said without even moving any other part of his body.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah sure." She mumbled, feeling almost sober after what happened but still tired. She'd have one hell of a hangover to deal with tomorrow.

The rest of the car ride was spent in silence with Rey giving him the occasional glance. She didn't miss the sight of his hands clenching the steering wheel repeatedly.

When he pulled up to her run down apartment building in the extra sketchy part of the city, she saw his brows furrow. It was obvious he wanted to say something. Eventually he did.

"This is where you live?" He finally looked at her. She didn't want his pity or anyone's for that matter. It took a while to get Poe to stop giving her sympathetic looks.

"Yep. Pretty elite right?" She gave a small chuckle but he obviously didn't think it was funny. He said nothing and got out of the car before rounding over to her side and opening her door for her.

The second her foot hit the pavement, it left it. He pulled her into his arms again and started up the small flight of stairs.

"Hey! I'm perfectly capable of walking ya know." She wiggled in his arms but he only gripped her tighter against his chest.

"Mm," was the only thing he offered.

She directed him to her room, still in his arms. When they approached the door she said, "If were gonna get in, you're gonna have to put me down."

He sighed but complied and set her down. She started to reach next to her before realizing that she didn't have her purse. Or her phone or keys for that matter.

"Uh.. I think I left my.."

Her words were cut off when he held up her small black purse to her, dangling from his fingers with a smirk on his face. How he had it, she didn't know. It was a question for another time. A time when her head wasn't pounding and wasn't so tired she could drop dead at any second.

"Thanks," she muttered and took it from him. Once she dug out her key and opened the door, he took her into his arms again, making her drop her purse on the ground.

Groaning, she pushed against his chest, "Dude, seriously? I can fucking walk to my room from here."

"Mm."

"Mm? That's all you have to say? Do you speak English?"

He sighed, "I'm not gonna let you break your ankle because you decided to walk around in these chambers all night," gesturing to the heels still on her feet.

She didn't realize until then how sore her feet actually were and she let out another groan into his chest. His broad, warm chest.

It wasn't hard for him to find her bedroom; the apartment was tiny. The floor creaked with every step and the area simply looked uncared for. The truth was, Rey didn't have the money to keep it up to date. As long as she had a roof over her head she would be fine.

He set her down on the bed and crouched down on the floor. Rey fought to keep her eyes open because oh, what a sight to see. Him kneeling in front of her. Perhaps one day he would for another reason than to just take off her shoes.

She winced at the immediate soreness that she felt in her feet and laid back until her head hit the pillows. Mystery man pulled up the covers over her body and held her gaze before turning towards the door.

"Wait!" Rey pleaded without thinking first.

He turned back to her and looked at the arm she didn't know she'd extended towards him. "You're drunk," he stared plainly.

"I feel sober," she started giggling, not even knowing how the situation was funny.

He huffed, "Clearly."

Then she remembered she was alone with him and she could ask him anything. A million questions ran through her head...

_Why'd you save me?_

_How come you're with me and not someone else?_

_How'd you know where I was?_

_How come you're with **me?**_

She didn't have the courage to ask any of those. Instead she settled for one that would finally make her mystery photographer a little less mysterious.

"What's your name?"

Mystery man stepped closer ever so slowly. If it weren't for the soft expression in his eyes, her mind would scream predator. He stopped when he reached the bed and finally put a name to his beautiful face.

"Ben."

She gave him a small smile, still struggling to keep her eyes open.

"I'm Rey."

Something flickered across his expression at her words before he bent down so his face was only inches from hers. He brought up a hand and rested it softly on her cheek, caressing it like it was made of glass.

"Rey..." he mumbled so she could barely hear. His gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips, eyes to lips, eyes to lips. Tragically, he pulled away.

They were locked in each other's eyes again; that seemed to occur quite often. After such an intimate moment, Rey didn't struggle as much to stay awake. Which was why his next words and action let all of the hope drain out of her. Though she didn't know exactly what she hoped for.

"Get some sleep," he said before turning and walking out of her bedroom. She was too shook to tell him to stay this time.

It took her a while to fall asleep oddly, the ghost of his palm still lingered on her cheek.

That night, she dreamt of her mystery man.

Of her savior.

Of Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> btw i know zero about the real world hence the tag, so i apologize if a lot of this story is completely inaccurate
> 
> but thanks for reading, see you soon!


	3. Just Another Guy Who’d Leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Rey thinks nothing will happen between them, something does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for over 500 hits and almost 50 kudos! That kind of stuff keeps me motivated to write. Here's an update for ya, enjoy!

"Fuck."

Rey cursed herself as she screwed up her eyeliner wing for the fifth time that morning. Somehow even though she was a fully trained makeup artist for the biggest magazine company in the city, she struggled to apply a simple fucking wing.

Perhaps it would have something to do with the fact that she'd most likely see Ben today. The fretful evening where he saved her from _what she doesn't even want to think about what would've happened had he not been there_ was a week ago and she hadn't seen him since.

The morning after, she was greeted with a pounding headache, which was to be expected. Everything came crashing back to her at once.

The runway.

The club.

Being assaulted.

Ben saving her.

Ben.

Him taking her home and making sure she was safe.

And now all she wanted was for him to make her feel safe again.

She hadn't been needed much that week, but today there was a professional photo shoot for some of the looks displayed on the runway. And photo shoots - more often than not - required photographers.

It wasn't hard for Rey to put the pieces together.

Photo shoot = Ben.

Between redoing her makeup ten times and of _him_ dominating her thoughts, she didn't notice the time. It was later than she thought.

"Fuck, shit, shit, shit, shit..."

Rey scurried out of her sad apartment as quickly as she could, not having the chance to grab something to eat. There wouldn't be time to stop for something either. It wasn't a particularly difficult task to get through the day without food; she sometimes went without it for almost a week in her childhood. She lived on carbs now, her dinner options usually consisting of pasta, mac and cheese or ramen. It was easier to save that way. It'd get her out of this hell hole sooner, so if she went a day without food, so be it.

Thankfully, she wasn't ridiculously far from her destination; it was about a 45 minute walk to where the shoot was taking place. However, she was wearing (the only ones she owned) heels which added an extra 15 minutes to the journey.

Her chestnut brown hair was thrown up into a tight bun and her outfit consisted of a nice baby blue blouse with a black pencil skirt. It wasn't uncommon for men's eyes to linger a little too long on her and she even got an occasional whistle. It only made Rey stare at the ground longer during the duration of her walk.

Today she was almost entirely too distracted to even care or notice. Every step she took was a step closer to Ben. The man who maybe, just maybe, could be the one to end her streak of poor boyfriends. Not that he was her boyfriend, but hopefully he would be one day.

None of the men she'd been with had ever shown the level of care that Ben did the week before. They probably wouldn't have even noticed she was gone from the club. So far he truly seemed different than the others... but would it last? 

She could only hope.

-

Rey trudged into the warehouse with only minutes to spare. Already, she could feel the blisters reopening on the back of her heels. She made it to her station fairly quickly and with her lack of fortune, a model was already seated waiting for her.

Inhaling a long breath, Rey made her way over and braced herself for whatever snarky comment was yet to come.

"Ugh, finally. Why do you guys always take forever?"

Rey bit her lip to prevent a comment that could seriously get her in trouble. It was something she never understood - how they could always get away with bitch-talking every person they came across, but one word out of her and she was gone. The field she worked in was competitive and anyone could easily replace her.

 _They can get away with anything because they bring in the money by looking sexy and ready to fuck every time of day_ Rey reminded herself.

She didn't bring nearly as many bills as they did. Yes, she made them look better but of course was never acknowledged.

But once again, it's something she's been used to her whole life.

Rey held back her words and started to unpack everything she'd need. Brushes, eye shadow palettes, powders, foundations, eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, lip liner, you name it.

She silently thanked the universe as she started applying the first layer of powder, because this model was not nearly as bad as the one she treated the night of the show.

The show.

The runway.

_Ben._

The thought and realization of seeing him so soon made the butterflies in her abdomen flutter a little faster. He could already be here. Maybe they were only feet away. Maybe they'd talk or better yet, talk outside of the warehouse.

She could give him a proper thank you for his actions the week prior and get to hear his sexy low voice. Maybe even hear her name from that voice. Maybe they'd get close without even realizing it. Two opposite magnets attracting without anything to stop them. So close that she could feel his warm breath on her face. Then she could lean in and-

No.

None of that would happen. _God_ , where were these ideas coming from?

What was more likely to happen was they would share a couple quick glances throughout the day and in the end they would both go their separate ways and pretend like last week never occurred.

Still, she was more hopeful with him than anyone before, but in the end he would end up just being another guy who would leave one day. And whether that day was today or ten years from now, she didn't know. But they always left. They always left _her._

It was something she wondered frequently. If it was something wrong with _her_ that made the tie between her and guys weaken and eventually tear. Every time she thought about the different possibilities, her mind trickled back to one thing: her looks. More so, the fact that she wasn't a size 0 model. Maybe that wasn't it. Maybe it was still the fact there wasn't a loyal man in the city. Maybe she'd never know and spend the remainder of her days alone in the same scrawny apartment.

Every thought rushed down the drain of her mind when Rey accidentally got too close to the model's eye with the mascara brush.

"OW, JESUS YOU'RE GONNA TAKE MY FUCKING EYE OUT."

In Rey's defense, if the model wouldn't have blinked it wouldn't be an issue. But of course she couldn't say that. Instead she mumbled a short apology and got back to work.

When she finished her look, she stepped back, allowing the model to stand. The model left without so much as a 'thank you' and left Rey at her station. Models really had no soul. At least around here they didn't, but she'd be surprised if it were different anywhere else.

She sighed heavily and began to pack up her things when she noticed that Poe was finishing up as well just a few stations down.

He caught her eye almost immediately and gave her a small smile. Rey nodded her head towards the shoot as if to say ' _Meet over there?'_

Poe gave her a nod and she smiled back, soon turning to finish cleaning her space.

Their paths collided on the way to where the models were being photographed. On the way to Ben.

Rey couldn't leave now even if she was desperate. She had to stay in case a model needed to touch up their makeup during the shoot. Thankfully she had her best friend by her side for the entire day.

"Hey girl." Poe greeted her with a wink.

"Hey, I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! How was your week?"

"Ahh, same old same old. Wake up, go to work, go home, find Finn-"

"Okayyy I don't need you to speak anymore," Rey held up a hand to his chest.

Poe laughed and his face turned slightly more serious.

"Oh, I meant to tell you the other night how amazing you looked up on the runway."

Rey blushed.

"Seriously girl, you had every pair of eyes set on you the whole time you were visible."

"Thanks, Poe." Rey smirked and pulled him into a hug simply because she missed her best friend. He was the closest thing to family she had and she would be damned if she lost him too.

The enjoyable moment ended too soon when she felt Poe tense and pull back. His narrowed eyes were set over her shoulder.

"Who's that?"

Rey turned to face whoever Poe was speaking of and when she did, all of the blood in her body rushed downwards.

Ben stood no more than twenty feet away from them, his eyes narrowed towards Poe. He caught Rey's gaze and before anything else could happen, he turned away and sulked back to his job.

"Rey?" Poe called her when she'd been staring too long.

"Yeah?" She turned back to him with wide eyes.

"Who is that?"

"Oh! Uh.. he's the photographer I'm pretty sure."

Poe raised a brow.  
  
"We met after the runway last week," she clarified.

Poe's face shifted from a state of confusion to realization in a matter of a second.

"Ohh, so what you're saying is I need to uh-" he cracked his knuckles, "-have a talk with this guy, hm?"

Rey's eyes went wide at his comment and assured him that that wouldn't be necessary at all.

"We barely even know each other, he just came up to me after the show and said I looked pretty. That's all."

"Okay.." Poe said in a skeptical tone, "When you need advice about him, gimme a call."

" _God,_ you're the worst," she rolled her eyes.

Poe sighed and crossed his arms, "Nope, I'm the best."

Rey nudged him with her elbow and turned to watch as the shoot commenced.

-

The day dragged on slowly, every minute seemed like an hour. Ben had spared her nothing more than a few glances, but in his defense his eyes _were_ behind a camera lens all day. She continued to talk with Poe; he caught her up with his relationship with Finn. Rey hung out with him and Poe a couple times and they instantly became friends. She was elated for Poe and that he found such a great guy like Finn.

At one point Ben caught her gaze again, but this time neither of them seemed to want to avert. She didn't know how long they stared into the other's eyes. It could've been seconds, it could've been minutes. It was interrupted, though, by a model who came up to her requesting service.

"I think I smudged my mascara, can you fix it?"

Rey took a look and found that she hadn't in fact ruined anything.

"Umm.. actually you didn't. Everything looks perfect still." She gave a timid smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Okay, well _I_ think something's wrong so please just do your damn job and fix it for me. Some of us have to actually look good."

Rey gulped and nodded, simply applying an additional layer of mascara to her lashes. Nothing _was_ wrong, but she had to do something to make it look like she fixed the error that was never there.

"Okay, there." 

The model walked away without another word.

Rey felt tears brimming her eyes. Not because of the way she was spoken to - she was used to that - but because it happened in front of everyone. Including Ben.

It took all of her strength for her not to look at him and eventually she failed. Half of her expected to see him refocused on the tall, skinny models in front of him but his eyes were still set on her. 

His face was full of sympathy and apology, but there wasn't anything he could do. She shook her head slightly to say _'It's fine.'_

She averted her gaze and silently vowed to not set her eyes on him again.

So she didn't.

-

The rest of the shoot didn't bring much trouble. She performed a few more touch ups, but that was it.

She was about to make her way back to her station to gather her things and get the hell out of there, when in her peripherals she saw a model go up to the photographer. Coincidentally, the model wore the dress that Rey had shown on the runway. She couldn't help but wonder if Ben found that the dress looked better on the _real_ model.

Everything in her was screaming to turn away, to not care and just leave. But her eyes were stuck on the woman whose hand now laid on his bicep, stroking his arm up and down.

And he was letting her. 

He didn't make any moves to back away as she got closer, and closer, and closer, until their chests almost touched.

Rey could see her mouth moving, but couldn't make out her words. All of the hope that Rey came to work with died. Her nervousness faded and the butterflies stopped fluttering their wings. The blood returned to her head and her heart dropped a little.

The model reached up to stroke his hair. His _perfectly done, smooth, soft_ , raven hair. 

Not wanting to see what happened next, Rey dug out the strength from within her and fled back to her station to retrieve her belongings. All she wanted was to get the hell out of there and never return. She grabbed her purse and shut down her station in record time and walked as fast as she could from the premises. If it weren't for the heels tearing apart the flesh on her feet, she'd be running.

She willed herself not to cry until she got into the safe walls of her apartment, where she could let the emotion run down her cheeks and soak into her pillow.

It was a good thing she did, because she couldn't have been more than fifty feet down the street when she heard her name being called between heavy breaths.

She stopped abruptly in her fast-paced steps when he realized who the voice belonged to.

The heavy breaths were growing nearer from behind her. Finally she turned around to see Ben standing only a few feet away, his shoulders moving up and down heavily trying to catch his breath. Had he... _run_ after her?

"Ben? What are you-" She grimaced when her voice cracked slightly, "What are you doing here?"

He opened his mouth to answer her, but closed it. That action was repeated a couple times. But Rey was a patient woman. And it was a good thing she was, because when he found his words and looked into her eyes, she just about collapsed onto the concrete.

"I-uh, I actually wanted to ask if you wanted to go out sometime. Ya know, like to dinner, on a date or something. But you ran outta there pretty fast, so... here I am."

Rey's eyes widened so much, she thought they'd escape her sockets completely. Her lips parted in complete astonishment. This was not at all what she'd been expecting. And how _straight-forward_ with it he was.

Her first instinct was to shout "YES YES YES" so that the suburbs could hear her, but then she thought twice. Specifically, she pictured the scene moments ago when the model had her hands on him. 

But that almost heart-shattering moment was topped by so many great ones. She pictured him after the runway show when he called her beautiful. When he took her home and cared for her like she was really his. When he cared enough to notice that she was gone from the club. 

She wanted with all of her heart to say yes, but she needed clarification about one thing. The one poor memory she had of him.

"You wouldn't rather go on a date with bitch number three back there?" She said with a small smirk forming on her mouth.

Ben's brows furrowed and then raised.

"You saw that?"

Rey nodded and pulled her lips between her teeth.

He threw his head back and sighed heavily, "Rey, you have to know that was nothing. I didn't let it get anywhere. It's not like I could push her off. I could get in trouble. Surely it's the same way for you."

_Damn it._

He was right.

It was just like how she couldn't throw back any rude comments at the models who were disgusting towards her. She supposed his situation was worse.

So she nodded and mumbled a timid "Okay."

He let out a long exhale of relief and they were enveloped in a comfortable silence.

"Bitch number three, huh?" He finally looked up from the ground with a smirk on his face.

"Uh, yeah. Seemed fitting."

He let out a small chuckle before continuing, "Nah, she's nothing special. Not anything compared to you."

Rey felt her blush spreading around her face and he smirked at the shock displayed on her face.

"How can you say that? You don't even know me."

"True," he admitted. "But I know you well enough to tell that you're different."

Something inside her stomach churned. Because that's how she thought of him.

_Different._

"How am I- How am I different?" She questioned, desperately wanting to hear his answer.

"Well, from what I can tell.. you're completely selfless. You prioritize other's feelings over your own. You don't dramatize things, just do what you need to do and go from there. You're completely gorgeous and I don't even think you realize it. I could tell from the runway that you were in fact different. I've seen a lot of shows and hundreds of models and you stood out among all of them. When you walked down the runway, I could tell you weren't focused on looking stunning in every picture taken of you, even though I'm sure you were. Your eyes lit up as soon as you faced the crowd and I knew you were having the time of your life up there. Just being in the spotlight for a night and feeling some kind of importance. You're the complete opposite of everybody in there," he gestured towards the warehouse, "and that's why I'm standing here now, asking you to dinner. Which by the way, I'm still waiting for an answer on." He flashed a small smile, but it said a thousand words.

Rey was frozen. Complete shock and adoration took over her. No one had ever said anything like that to her before. She'd seen speeches like these in movies and on TV but never thought she'd be on the receiving end of one.

"W-wow. You were kinda spot on with that." The blush didn't leave her face yet.

"I think we're more similar than we know, sweetheart."

She felt her face grow warmer at the pet name, but she found herself liking it.

If they were similar, maybe he had some hard background that she'd learn about one day. And for some reason, she suddenly found herself wanting to know everything there was to know about Ben.

"So about that dinner?" He raised a brow as he broke the silence between them.

After everything he just admitted, there was no way she could say no to this man. She had a feeling that even if he hadn't declared his feelings for her in that long ass speech, that she would still agree to dinner.

"Yeah. Yeah I'd love to go with you." This time the smile came naturally with ease.

Ben's eyes lit up a little more at her answer. "Good. Here, let me give you my number."

"Oh, yeah sure."

They exchanged numbers and her heart beat a little faster when she added a contact to his number and typed "Ben" into the name slot.

"How about Tuesday night? I'll pick you up at 7?" His low voice brought her eyes back up to his.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. I can walk or take the subway or something."

Ben stared at her in confusion.

"You're serious?"

She nodded.

"Nonsense." He shook his head. "What kind of man would I be if I let my date get across the city all alone at night?"

"To be fair, I do it a lot."

"You shouldn't have to."

"It is what it is," she said meekly and averted her gaze to her shoes, which were really starting to burn her feet.

Another silence overtook them, this one a bit more awkward than the past few. Rey suddenly found the cracks in the concrete quite interesting.

"So, Tuesday at 7?" He broke the silence.

Rey looked back up at him to find a soft expression on his face, perhaps the softest she's ever seen him.

"Tuesday at 7," she confirmed.

Ben smiled small and nodded, "Good."

He began to back away but didn't turn around before bidding his proper goodbye, "Until then, sweetheart."

Rey kept her eyes on him until he disappeared back into the building he had run out of to completely turn her day around.

Tuesday couldn't come soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh do things finally seem to be going right???
> 
> thanks for reading, see you soon :)


	4. Charmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey go on their first date.

Not a second of the weekend went by without Rey thinking - or rather, stressing - about her upcoming date with Ben. It wasn't that she didn't have experience - she was an expert on first dates. In fact, she was lucky if the guy ever called her back for a second. That only happened no more than half a dozen times. The thing was... Ben already sat a thousand levels higher than anyone she'd ever gone out with and she didn't want to screw it up. Yeah, that was it.

Who knew, maybe he was the one.

Rey chuckled to herself at the thought. With her poor luck in dating she had never been one to believe she would ever find the one. When she was a kid she believed in soulmates, only because there wasn't really anything else to hope for. She always imagined that one day her knight in shining armor would come rescue her from whatever shit hole she stayed in that month. As she grew older though, the logistics of it seeped further into the common sense area of her brain. And she knew she probably had a higher chance of being struck by lightning or winning the lottery twice than finding a man who would be willing to settle for her for the rest of his life.

She shook the thought from her head. It was everyone who had ever abandoned her talking. Her parents, several friends, countless men and possible lovers. The only one who hadn't was Poe and she loved him for it.

The entirety of her Tuesday was spent practicing new looks on herself. Some were for fun, some were based off new looks for RESISTANCE. All she could do was wait until 7:00, and time seemed to drag by.

Six more hours, she thought to herself as she stared at the oven clock which read 1:02 in a green LED light. Her outfit was already picked out. She had already decided on what to wear before she even arrived home from her run-in with Ben where he asked her out. It wasn't like she had a ton of options, but she would still look nice. She'd decided on dark wash skinny jeans, tan ankle boots and a nice white blouse with a low v-neck and loose ends of fabric on the hem to tie.

Rey could barely contain her excitement; tonight had the potential to be absolutely perfect. Not only was she having dinner with the man she liked more than any of her past interests, but she would likely consume one of the best meals she'd ever had. Dinner had never been a first date for her; it was usually just going for a drink. Now though, she could be in for a real treat.

When she grew bored of prettying herself in the bathroom, she washed her face before making way to the small living room and plopping herself on the couch. Already the butterflies were awake in her abdomen. She wished she had something to do to pass the time, anything. Maybe if Poe was free-

Poe!

The thought of filling her best friend in on everything had somehow completely slipped her mind in the midst of all her nerves. Rey immediately lunged for her phone that rested on the side table and unlocked it. Perhaps dishing to him would ease or at least slightly calm some of the metaphorical insects in her stomach.

She scrolled through her contact list, which wasn't very full. One particular name in the 'B' section especially stuck out. One she hadn't yet heard from at all since the photo shoot. It's completely normal, she told herself over and over. Just because he hadn't texted or called didn't mean he wasn't interested. He had asked her to dinner after all. And called her stunning. And now she was overthinking everything.

When she reached the 'P' section, she wasted no time clicking on Poe's name and calling him. By the third ring, he picked up.

"Hey girl, what's up? I feel like I haven't seen you in forever! How long's it been?"

Rey let out a low chuckle, "Uhh, I think about three or four days, Poe."

"Ahh, well still. Anyways, what're you doing tonight? We could go out clubbing or something. Get you laid."

She felt her cheeks heat up immediately, but smiled as she remembered her date with Ben. She hadn’t forgotten, but she hadn’t talked about to anyone yet. “I’ll pass. Actually, that's kinda what I called to talk to you about.."

Poe let out a heavy sigh, "Now Rey, we've gone over this... I know you're so very attracted to me, but I'm also very much gay and have a pretty fucking hot boyfriend who can do wondrous things with his-"

"OKAYYY Poe, I gotcha, don't flatter yourself," Rey said with a smirk on her face.

"All jokes babe. What was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Um.." Rey paused, suddenly nervous again for some reason. Her nerves had no chill today. "I actually kinda have a date tonight-"

"SHUT UP." Poe bellowed, interrupting her before she could even say who it was with.

"Is it really so surprising?" Rey bit her lip.

"What? No, Rey, of course not. You just haven't met anyone remotely close to date worthy in a while. Girl, I'm happy for ya!"

A smile crept its way onto her face, "Thanks Poe."

After a few moments of comfortable silence, she heard his charismatic voice again, "So... give me the details. Who's the lucky guy?"

"Ben." She said too quickly and grimaced immediately, realizing Poe had no idea who she was referring to.

"Ben, hmmm.... yeah I don't follow."

"He's the photographer. From RESISTANCE." When Poe remained quiet she tried to clarify further, "He's the guy you asked me about last week and threatened to.. how did you put it.. 'have a talk with him?'

Rey could practically see Poe's eyes go wide with realization when he basically shouted, "OHHHH, HIM! I can't believe I didn't guess! Sorry Rey but I'm not even gonna deny it.. that man is fine."

"Trust me, I know."

"Aha, that's my girl!" He praised for her straight forwardness. "So, what have you guys done so far? Any chance he's got you in bed yet?"

Rey gasped, "Jesus Poe, no. We haven't even kissed." She said it in a surprising manner, yet she wouldn't be opposed to hopping into bed with him pretty much right this second. He did something to her. Something she'd never felt before. She was a little more nervous around him than anyone else, yet a little more lustful too. Every single time she laid her eyes on him, a desire crept up from within her, making her want to grab him by the collar to pull him down and fiercely crush her lips to his. She also wondered constantly what he tasted like.

"Damn, well, I had to ask. Always gotta look out for my girl, ya know."

"I know, and I appreciate it." Rey smiled to herself at his care for her. It was what she craved most in the world. For someone to love and cherish her forever. And she wanted more than anything for Ben to make her feel that way.

"So, where's he taking you? Or are you staying in? Which, honestly, I personally wouldn't complain about.."

"Oh, hush! He's actually taking me out to dinner."

The line went silent as if Poe was contemplating what she had just said. "Wait, you said... he's taking you out for dinner... in this city.. for a first date? Am I correct?"

"Uhh, yeah?" Rey questioned, not knowing why he was acting so skeptical.

"Yep, he's definitely rich."

"Poe!"

"What?"

It was like a mother yelling at her son. "It's a wonder you're in a relationship when you're so straight-forward and assuming."

Poe laughed, "What can I say, I'm a charmer. Sounds like he is too. Some people like it, ya know."

Rey rolled her eyes even though she was aware he couldn't see her, "Oh I'm sure they do." A small laugh escaped her as she spoke.

"Alright well I expect a phone call or an in-person meeting tomorrow to discuss every detail of your evening. Well, almost every detail. There's some things even I don't need to know."

"Now you know how I feel when you drool over Finn every time I speak to you."

"I do not.." Poe retorted.

"Oh yes you do, don't even deny it."

Poe was silent for a while before finally giving in, "Okay maybe I do a little."

"That's the understatement of the year, but I'll let it slide. Oh also, if I don't call you tomorrow it's because he kept me in bed all day with him and what I’m assuming is a twelve inch dick." Rey never fucked on the first date, but maybe she could make an exception for Ben if he was persistent too.

"Mm, noted. Alright well until then babe. Good luck!"

"Thanks Poe, bye."

Rey let out a heavy sigh, turned into a groan after she hung up. The butterflies were back, and crazier than ever. Maybe it was the thought of Ben fucking her senseless that riled them up. Yep, that was definitely it.

It was only seconds after her call with Poe ended that her phone buzzed. She quickly assumed it was Poe, telling her something he had forgotten to mention on the phone. Or it was some random clothing store letting her know that everything was 25% off that day. What she didn't expect to see was a text from Ben, which made her heart flutter at first, only to be consumed with lust after she read it.

Ben: Been thinking about you. Can't wait for tonight.

Rey: I could say the exact same. :)

Ben: Good. I'll see your hot self soon, baby.

Oh yeah, she was fucked.

___

Rey rubbed furiously at her clit as the shower head above her sprayed warm water onto the back of her shoulders. Saying she was wet was a great understatement; she was practically dripping. She couldn't tell what was wet from the shower or from her arousal. The thought his cock stretching her beyond what she thought was possible made her moan, the sound echoing lightly in the small bathroom.

She got off on what he would feel like inside her, how his tongue would run up her slit and pleasure her until she couldn't remember her name. Her thumb took over, toying with her clit while she snaked two fingers towards her entrance, slightly teasing herself before plunging all the way inside. Rey imagined him whispering sweet nothings and praises into her ear as she worked herself towards an orgasm.

God, what was with her? Not once had she gotten off to the thought of a guy she'd only spoken to a handful of times. There was a first time for everything, she guessed.

She was close now, so close. Just a little more and...

It only took a few more strokes of her fingers inside her before one of her strongest orgasms ever washed over her. She moaned so loud, she would worry her neighbors would hear her if the shower didn't drain it out a little. It was only when she came down from her high that she realized she had been screaming his name.

Peeking out of the shower to check her phone, she saw the time was 5:05. She needed to start getting ready now for what she hoped would be quite a night to remember.

Rey hopped out of the shower and dried off quickly before blow drying her hair. Settling for a look that could be classified as slightly fancier than 'natural makeup', it didn't take super long to apply. She slipped into her clothes and styled her hair into loose beach waves, hanging at about shoulder length.

Seeing the time and realizing that he'd be here soon, she strutted back to her room to take in her full appearance in the body-length mirror. Someone had to admit it. She looked hot. And she could only pray that Ben would think so too. 

She opted to relax on the couch until he arrived, hoping to calm at least a few of her nerves. It probably wouldn't happen, but it was worth a shot.

The couch vibrated from under her thighs and she immediately shifted her gaze to her phone sitting beside her. Without a second of hesitation, she picked it up to see a text from Ben once again. He asked her what floor and room number she was and no time was wasted as she shot him a text back within twenty seconds, answering his question.

Thinking again for a moment, she typed again.

Rey: You don't have to come up, I'll meet you down there.

He responded with one word within seconds.

Ben: Nonsense.

She was slightly confused, but didn't have much time to register it fully because a soft knock sounded at the door.

Taking a deep breath, she took careful steps toward the door. It wouldn't be very fortunate to have her twist an ankle in her slightly leveled heels before she could step out of her apartment.

Rey pulled the door open and as soon as their eyes met all of the wind was knocked out of her. Like she was riding a bike going ten miles per hour, only to hit a pothole and fly face-first onto the solid concrete. It seemed like maybe he was experiencing the same feeling in his chest, because he didn't say anything either.

Finally, Rey snapped out her trance just enough to realize the awkwardness of the situation. She mustered up a soft "hi," with a bright smile. Ben's eyes seemed to refocus at her words. "Hey sweetheart..." he paused to take in your appearance, "you look... gorgeous. As always," he added.

Rey felt a blush spreading rapidly from her neck, a mosquito crawling upward to her cheeks, sucking the blood from her in thirty different spots, leaving her red-faced. She tried to hide it by glancing at her feet, suddenly finding them interesting. She didn't think she'd be this bad, considering her experience. But he... he made her more her nervous than she'd ever been with a guy.

Then out of nowhere, she felt a single calloused finger take its place under her chin, pushing upwards to tilt her head back up to him. She thought the blush couldn't get worse before. She was wrong. Her face felt like it was on fire and so she closed her eyes, trying to calm her senses.

"Don't be so nervous." His voice sounded from right in front of her, "you don't need to impress me, darling. You know why?" Rey opened her eyes and shyly nodded her head horizontally, saying no. "Because," he paused, "I already am."

A big, stupid grin appeared on her face which made him smirk. "Alright, so..." she drew out the 'o,' "where are you taking me tonight?"

"Mm.. I believe I mentioned something about dinner?"

"Sounds perfect," she smiled up at Ben who then took her hand and led her out of the complex. Everything really was perfect.

___

Ben took her - in his very nice black Audi - to a restaurant downtown called Monteverde. Ben held her hand in her lap the entire car ride and only let go of it to exit the car and open her door. He took back her hand right away.

They sat across from each other and placed their orders rather quickly. Ben stared as if he was studying her, trying to learn everything there was to know about the girl sitting in front of him just by sight.

Eventually his wonders got the best of him, "So," he started, "Are you from around here?"

Shit fuck.

Rey was hoping they'd be able to hold off a little on telling her sad life story, but ripping off the band-aid would have to do. Okay, she wouldn't completely tear it off... maybe halfway. She'd wait until she felt ready to say the rest.

"Uh no actually. I moved around a lot as a kid before coming here."

That would suffice, right? She did answer his question...

"Oh yeah? That's interesting, did your parents like to travel?"

Well shit this man had no idea what he was asking.

Rey opened her mouth to speak, but then she realized that she really had no idea of what she was going to say. She hesitated and finally settled with "Yeah you could say that." Her voice had decreased in volume and liveliness.

There was a spark of curiousness in Ben's eye but he didn't press further. She assumed that he figured if she wanted him to know something, she'd confide in him, which she greatly appreciated.

"What about you?" She reciprocated. "Where are you from?"

"Ah, well I was born in San Diego but lived in LA most of my life up until a couple months ago." He paused speaking for a few moments as the waiter delivered their food. They said their thanks and turned back to each other before she began digging into her pasta— which looked amazing to Rey.

"Why'd you move out here?" Rey questioned.

He seemed to hesitate slightly and Rey was just about to say that he didn't have to answer, but he did before she could say a word.

"I... I worked as a photographer for a big rival company of RESISTANCE, which obviously my mother didn't like." This confused her but she didn't interrupt. "I didn't speak to her for a while then, but eventually I realized how unfair my boss was being towards me and moved back here to work for my mom."

Then it clicked.

"Wait... you work for your mom as in.. the CEO?"

He huffed, "Yep. Leia Organa's my mother."

Rey tried not to let her jaw drop too far but it all came across as a shock to her. How didn't she know this?

"Wow... I — does anyone at work know?"

"No, not really. It's easier, you know? Just if nobody knew."

"No yeah, I get it. And my lips are sealed by the way."

He gave a half-smile and took her hand in his once again, his thumb rubbing her knuckles. "Thank you," he murmured. She smiled right back at him and they stayed like that for a while.

"So..," Rey was going to try and lighten the mood, "Top three movies of all time." He raised an eyebrow. "Come on, I've gotta get to know you better before I really commit." She winked.

"Oh I see... so what I say next would determine... oh I don't know... whether there'll be a second one of these?"

Rey pursed her lips as if she was in deep thought, "Mmm... it just might." She flashed him a million dollar smile and he returned one to her as well.

They spent the rest of dinner and a walk afterwards getting to know the other. They each talked about what drove them towards their current careers, but also simpler things like their favorite songs, foods, colors, everything. Mind you, Ben held her hand in his through all of it, even kissing the backside of her palm a couple of times.

When Rey's feet began to ache, Ben insisted that they drive to their next destination.

"And where do you think you're taking me now, mister?"

Ben chuckled as he opened the passenger door for her to climb into. "You'll just have to wait and see for yourself, princess." A blush immediately crept onto her cheeks at the pet name, but she found herself liking it.

As soon as Ben seated himself in the driver's side, he slid his hand into Rey's lap to take her hand again. He seemed to never want to let go of her— not that she was complaining.. at all. It only made her more hopeful that there would be a second date. Maybe a third, and fourth, and so on. 

The car ride was spent mostly in silence, but it was a comfortable one. As if just enjoying the other's presence peacefully. Finally they pulled up to what Rey immediately recognized as Navy Pier from the ferris wheel.

She grinned to herself as he threw the car in park and made his way to her side of the car to open the door for her. "You're quite the gentleman you know," she chuckled as they started walking along the pier.

"I only am for those who deserve it."

"I wouldn't exactly say I'm deserving of it, but I appreciate it," she said almost jokingly.

"Hm," was the only thing he offered in return.

They continued to walk for a while but Rey's mind was swirling in that sea of doubt again. All she could think about was how everyone left her and as gentleman-like as Ben seemed, he could leave too.

Her thoughts drove her to squeeze Ben's hand tighter, which she didn't realize she had done at first.He immediately turned to her and they stopped walking. Rey glanced up and met his gaze. His face wasn't made out as clearly as she'd like it to be since the sky went dark, but she could still make out the moles that were scattered throughout his face and his eyes that were so trancing that she couldn't look away. And as she looked into his eyes— ones that were so full of emotion, she realized two things. One being that in such a short amount of time she had somehow fallen hard for him. She liked him more than anyone she'd ever met. And two, if he left her, even now, she would be completely and utterly heartbroken and may never trust or love anyone again.

"What's wrong baby?" He said softly and brought up the hand that wasn't holding hers to her face and ran his thumb across her cheekbone.

Rey's breath shuddered and all she could think now was don't cry don't cry don't cry...

"I—I um.." she tried to find words but the only thing that came out of her was a single tear that created a trail down her face. It didn't stay for long, as Ben quickly wiped it away.

"Talk to me," he said in his low, trancing monotone.

Now was the time. She thought she wouldn't be able to tell him for a long time... maybe ever. But right now in this moment, she felt more connected to him than ever. And she could trust him, she knew she could.

"I didn't tell you the whole story at dinner.." He raised a brow. "My parents weren't travelers. I don't know what they were at all because they were gone by the time I was five I think."

This seemed to confuse, shock or infuriate Ben? She didn't know but something flickered across his face, changing his expression slightly.

"I was put in the foster-care system and was moved around a lot. There wasn't one home I went to where it actually felt like a family. Foster all you want, I was never a part of anyone's family." Rey released a long breath in preparation for the hardest part. How she had the strength to tell him all this, she didn't know. But regardless, she found it. "What I'm saying is.. everyone I've ever gotten close to has left— except for my one best friend whom I'm extremely grateful for. And I... I like you Ben. A lot. And this may be coming off as me just being annoying and too clingy but I don't want you to leave too. You told me that I was different and I can easily say the same about you. You care already, so much more than anyone else has for me and so I really wanna give this a shot. You know... us."

She couldn't describe what Ben was feeling but his eyes were frantically moving about her face.

"Just please..." She continued when he didn't speak, "if you agree... don't go without cause or talking to me first."

They spent a few seconds in silence before Ben let go of her hand. The action crushed Rey's heart at first, but it was instantly put back together when it came up to her face. Both of his hands now cradled her head and he leaned in further to press his forehead to hers.

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, sweetheart." He wiped away a tear that she didn't even know was there. "I'm not going anywhere, darling. Okay?"

She nodded and her arms crept up to circle around his waist, pulling him closer. They stayed in each other's arms for only moments before Ben pulled back slightly to take in her figure.

"God, you're beautiful." And with that, he pressed his lips to hers. It took her by surprise, but it wasn't long at all before she was kissing him back. It felt so unbelievably right. Like as soon as their lips latched together, something sparked. The kiss was tender, yet passionate and his lips were so soft. Which was why Rey ached for more when he eventually pulled away.

He gave her a toothy smile, still holding her face. His lips pressed to her forehead but he let them linger for a while, which neither of them minded. All they needed was the other. Rey felt complete with him; the other half of her heart had been filled when she met him. And now she couldn't ever imagine not knowing him.

"Well looks like now is as good a time as any to say hello after following you two all night."

At first she didn't realize the voice was speaking to them. But when she felt Ben tense up in her arms and turn around, she knew something was off.

Ben moved to her side so she could see who greeted them. The woman was slightly taller than her probably, and had blonde hair. She had a slim figure and her eyes bored into Ben. She was absolutely gorgeous.

"May I say, that I am exhausted. You guys took so long to get out of the crowd, damn."

Rey quickly assumed this was just some drunk who had come up to the wrong people and that Ben would kindly tell her that. But when she looked up to Ben, all she saw was his horrified expression. And when his arm slithered around her waist protectively, she knew that this wasn't some random stranger. And when Ben spoke his next words, her theory was confirmed to be true.

"Bazine, what the hell are you doing here?"

Rey’s eyes widened. He fucking knew her.

Bazine only smirked, not even offering Rey a glance. "Oh Kylo, did you really believe you could run away from home and I wouldn't find you? Pathetic.."

"That's not my fucking name," he growled as his grip around Rey grew tighter. They were embedded in a highly uncomfortable silence and Rey took this as her time to shine.

"Uh, who are you?" She winced when her voice cracked slightly.

Bazine looked at Rey for the first time since her grand entrance and narrowed her eyes before planting an evil smirk on her face.

"I'm his girlfriend, slut."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i just kinda pull a grey's anatomy on you guys??
> 
> yes. yes i did.
> 
> thanks for reading, kudos and comments are always appreciated!!


	5. Kylo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey’s aftermath of their date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who’s ready for some ben pov??

Rey wouldn't remember much from that night. All she could recall was the seemingly fantastic evening she had with Ben, even being sealed with a kiss before it all went to hell.

When Bazine said she was his girlfriend... that's when Rey's senses started to fade. She didn't hear him calling her name as she walked away from the scene as fast as she could, she didn't feel the countless tears falling from her red cheeks and she barely felt herself slip away from Ben's grasp before bolting.

She didn't know where her legs were taking her and frankly she couldn't give less of a shit. All she needed was to get the hell out of there. Away from Bazine, away from Ben.

After about twenty minutes of walking, she felt her phone buzz in her back pocket repeatedly. She didn't need to check it to know it was Ben. Who else would text or call at this hour? It could be Poe, she supposed, but didn't want to take the chance of seeing the message and feeling obligated to respond.

Without going to the messages app, Rey turned off her phone and hailed a taxi since her feet hurt so bad that they were numb. The temperature in Chicago wasn't exactly warm at night either, not to mention she had no clue where she was; it'd take ages to get home by foot.

She held her tears back in the cab to save herself from looking like some naive little girl who just had her heartbroken. The bad thing... that's _exactly_ what she was. All this time she believed him to be different, and now she knew. Now she knew she'd never find a guy who deserved her. The hardest part was that's she liked him beyond words. More than she'd ever felt for anyone in her life and of course he had to fuck it all up. She should've known this would happen.

Rey could've cried of happiness at the sight of her complex, just because she desperately needed to let everything out. Mostly tears and maybe some words she'd never be bold enough to say to his face.

So when she bolted to her apartment, slamming the door, she did just that. The four walls of her bedroom watched as she collapsed onto the bed and sobbed into the pillows, muffled curses escaping her lips between heavy breaths.

She stayed like that for a while, until she succumbed to her tiredness and fell asleep.

Her dreams were dominated by Ben.

———

Pain was all Ben felt as he watched the girl he’d come to be so fond of slip further and further away from him. If Bazine was speaking, he wasn’t listening. The sound of his heart breaking was too loud to sense anything else.

He called her name when he could barely see her, but she only faded deeper into the shadows of the night.

It was only when he couldn’t see her anymore that he registered that he just had her here, in his arms. He’d give a lot to bring her back here and press his lips to her one more time. _Oh fuck, her lips_. No fancy dish at any restaurant could top the taste of her.

One moment she was here and the next... just gone.

He balled his hands into fists as he turned to see Bazine, the devilish smirk still resting on her makeup-caked face.

“Well, guess she won’t be sticking around.”

Ben saw red. His jaw clenched so tight that he’d be surprised if he didn’t crack a tooth. You couldn’t see it in the night, but his eyes grew dark and hardened on her.

“ _First_ of all,” he seethed. “You are aware that I broke up with you, correct? Or did you forget about that part?”

Her smirk only grew, “Don’t be silly Kylo, I’m perfectly aware of that fact, just thought it’d make the entrance a little more dramatic. I’m being honest when I say I wasn’t expecting her to bolt, but I guess now we both know that her loyalties don’t lie with you.”

Ben shook his head to himself. He understood perfectly why she left. She explained it all right before the kiss.

_Oh god._

He had just promised that he wouldn’t leave her like everyone else did and then two seconds later, his ex shows up creating a scene, making her believe he left her just after he said he wouldn’t.

The heel of his palms buried themselves in his eyes and he rubbed until he saw spots.

“I already told you that’s not my name anymore.”

“Mmm I don’t think Snoke would be too happy if he found out his employee was calling you by your birth name. That name makes you weak, don’t go back to it.”

“I already did and I can tell you that I’m stronger now than I have ever been. Is this why you came? To bring me back to that manipulative man? I’m not coming back Bazine, I work here now and have never been happier. So you can save your time, breath and attempts to ruin my life because it’s not going to happen.”

A little proud of his monologue, Ben turned without another word and stalked away in the direction Rey went.

“We’ll see, Kylo.” She called out and he grimaced at the name, “But if you really think you’re getting rid of me this easily, you are quite wrong.”

Bazine could threaten him all she wanted, it didn’t get to him. The only thing he needed to get to was Rey, and making her understand would be the last thing he ever did if it had to be.

She needed to know what Bazine meant to him, - which was nothing - she needed to know how much of a great time he had on their date and most importantly she needed to know the true extent to his feelings for her, which were very high.

———

The next day was Wednesday and Rey didn’t have work, thank the gods. She preferred not to go in with red puffy eyes and a headache from crying. That Friday though, there was a company party celebrating the line that was to be released soon. Originally she was just going to go for a little while to show her face and then dip with Poe, but now she didn’t want to make an appearance at all due to a certain someone’s presence.

Oh well, she could deal with that later.

She spent the day doing more crying along with thinking of Ben. If she had to guess, she’d say that woman was from the same company Ben used to work at - the one where he was treated poorly and left to start a new life here and work for Leia.

All she could wonder was how much there was about Ben she didn’t know, starting with the reason Bazine had called him _Kylo_. If he wanted her back, he’d have a hell of a lot of explaining to do. True, his past could be coated with pain and tragic memories but she wanted to understand him and why he kept all this from her. Mostly why he didn’t tell her that he had a fucking _girlfriend_ when he left LA.

Out of nowhere, she remembered her promise to Poe for an update on how the night went. Her stomach created a sick feeling at the thought of having to explain it to someone. Still, deciding it was time, she sat up in bed and powered on her phone and prepared for the text or two from Ben that she would definitely see.

Her jaw dropped at the amount of notifications that filled the screen. Most were from Ben - and it wasn’t just one or two - and a couple from Poe.

Trying to buy more time before facing Ben’s messages, she opened Poe’s first.

Yesterday 11:48 PM

**POE: heyyy how’d the date with pretty boy go??**

And one more from that morning.

Today 9:25 AM

**POE: i’m gonna take it that he got u in bed by the way ur not answering me**

**;))**

**just know i’m still expecting a call with all the deets later on**

Poe’s text showed exactly how their evening had spiraled and what could’ve been. She didn’t think that reading Poe’s messages would be hard, yet the second one got to her a little.

Rey hung her head for a few moments, taking deep breaths to prepare for the emotional hurt she’d feel in a few seconds.

The first thing she saw in regards to Ben was the _8 missed calls_ notification. Her next breath was shuddered. She swallowed and hesitantly clicked on Ben’s contact name where it said _11 new messages._

Yesterday 10:33 PM

 **BEN: rey**

**rey please answer your phone and let me explain**

**it’s not what you think at all**

**you don’t know what i feel for you**

**i had such a great time tonight please don’t let this misunderstanding ruin any chance of us being together**

Yesterday 11:57 PM

**BEN: goodnight, rey**

A single tear fell from Rey’s left eye and onto the screen which she quickly wiped away. Those were just the messages from _last night._

He’d sent more today.

Today 6:02 AM

**BEN: i can’t sleep**

**there’s no way i can with how we left things**

Today 10:20 AM

**BEN: rey i’m begging you to let me explain, don’t make me come over there**

**i really don’t wanna have to**

Her heart leaped to her throat at the thought of seeing him in person so soon. There was no way she could face him right now, not like this.

And so when she read his final message which had been sent only twelve minutes ago, she was sure she was going to be sick.

Today 3:37 PM

**BEN: i’ll see you soon then**

The urge to empty out her stomach rose quickly. Rey covered her mouth and sprinted across the bedroom to the bathroom where she opened the toilet lid and practically threw up her guts.

She didn’t know how long it took to get to her apartment from wherever he lived, but she could assume he’d be here soon. Also she was pretty positive she wouldn’t be able to open the door.

If she was desperate enough, she could flee. Go stay at Poe’s for the night or just go out somewhere until she was sure he’d be gone. But in all honesty, she was too scared she’d run into him on her way out and she wasn’t about to cry in front of him.

So she stayed, just sitting on the cold bathroom tile floor.

All she could do now was wait.

———

_The sound of waves crashing echoed throughout the valley. Rey stood on a cliff at least two hundred feet up from the violent waves. After a few moment she realized how badly she was shaking; partially from the extremely cool air, only to be made worse by the wind, and from the fear of falling off._

_She tried to back away from the edge, as she was only a couple feet from it. But something wouldn’t let her. She didn’t know what, but her feet were glued to the grass and soil beneath it._

_This didn’t seem real because of logic. But it sure **felt** real._

_The wind sent her hair flying in every direction, even in her eyes, so it took her a moment to register what was happening. The force had held her to the ground began to move her closer to the ledge._

_Rey tried everything she could to resist; she gave it all her strength. But it was no match compared to whatever she was fighting._

_She screamed and shouted for help while knowing at the same time that no one would hear her._

_This was it. She’d die like this. Everyone would probably believe that she was pushed or more likely, that she jumped. Who’d believe that some invisible thing was pushing her over the edge?_

_Only inches from death now, she heard a voice. It took a minute to realize what it was saying and she eventually made it out to be her name._

_It echoed throughout the forest behind her and she could tell it was getting closer. Despite her feet being controlled, she could still move everything else and when she turned her head to seek out the body that matched the voice, she was met with Ben._

_He still called her name desperately, trying to get her away from the cliff but it was no use. Her toes hung over the edge and she was going over no matter what._

_The expression on his face broke Rey’s heart. It seemed like she was his lifeline, his oxygen, and he was being deprived of it. Like he couldn’t breathe without her._

_Ben’s eyes were full of grief and agony the emotion in them became overwhelming when he watched her fall over the ledge._

_As she fell she didn’t really register what was happening. She couldn’t see, couldn’t feel, couldn’t smell. But Rey could hear. And all she heard was Ben’s piercing scream of her name._

———

Rey jolted up and slammed her head on the bathroom cabinet; a shearing pain immediately took its place.

“OWW shit..”

It wasn’t until she stood up and shook out of her tiredness that she noticed her name was still being called.

_She wasn’t dreaming still, was she?_

This time the shouting of her name was accompanied by a rapid knocking. When she put two and two together she almost puked again.

_No no no no no..._.

Ben was here.

Hesitantly, she exited the bathroom and made her way towards the front door. He just kept calling her name while pounding on the door. She was positive her neighbors now despised her.

She stopped a few feet before the door, debating within her whether or not she wanted to face him right now. But he was relentless regardless.

“Rey” A knock. “Rey come on.” Another couple knocks. “I know you’re in there I can tell you’re pacing from the shadow.” The last part made her halt in her tracks. She held her breath, not daring to make one sound.

Ben sighed heavily and it sounded like he sat down on the ground, leaning against the door. Thinking it’d be best for her, Rey did the same on the other side.

The two were so close, really only centimeters apart. But feelings and the wood between them made it seem like they were miles away from each other.

“Listen Rey... I can explain everything that happened last night. I know how it looks... I really do.” He paused. Rey tried to take a deep breath but it was heavily shuddered. She was afraid he could hear her.

“And I still need you to know that I won’t ever leave you, okay? Sweetheart please tell me you know that.”

The tears were falling now. Rey was enveloped in a silent cry and it took a lot of her strength not to make a sound. It wasn’t too hard with her hand covering her mouth but it was becoming harder to breath, as the breaths she took were quicker and heavier.

Rey didn’t respond to him for two reasons. One being that she simply didn’t want him to hear the hurt in her voice and two being that she wasn’t sure if she believed him. She wanted to with everything she had, but couldn’t bring bring herself to say the word.

“Baby I’m begging you. Please open the door Rey. _Please_.”

The last word was shaky and so full of emotion that Rey thought she might break. But more tears just fell from her silent sobs and she remained quiet.

He didn’t say anything else for a while and eventually she thought he left. But when she peeked under the door to look through the crack, the shadow of his body against the door was still there.

Rey looked down at her watch.

_6:26 PM_

How long had they both been sitting there exactly?

When she was close to falling asleep again, something sounded from the other side of the door. She looked through the crack, pressing her temple to the floor and saw the shadow of two feet. He was leaving.

Ben didn’t go right away; he stood in place for at least a minute. Before he turned and left for good, he mumbled “Bye Rey..” in the softest of whispers. The hitch in his breath almost made her whimper aloud.

Rey watched the two shoe shadows disappear and listened to the stomp of his feet grow lighter and lighter. When she was sure he was gone, she finally allowed herself to sob loud and freely against the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> kudos and comments are always appreciated.


	6. Nobody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey prepares for the company party with Poe aka who’s ready for some quality bff time?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler chapter so I apologize if it’s short and boring. We’ve got good stuff coming soon though, I promise ;)

Friday came fairly quick and Rey wished it hadn't. All it meant was having to spend an evening with her co-workers when she only liked one of them right now while dodging another tall one, particularly a photographer.

Rey groaned into her pillow as soon as she could recognize that it was morning and she'd have to see Ben today.

She hadn't heard from Ben since Wednesday when he came over and tried to talk to her through the door. No calls, no texts, nothing. And that fact didn't sit well with her for some reason .

Perhaps it was time to talk to him though. The longer she let us drag on, the worse the inevitable conversation and confrontation would be.

She could end it tonight then and there but he hadn't driven her away yet completely. She still liked him too much.

After another hour of sulking in bed, Rey forced herself up to start the day. As she got dressed, a terrifying thought entered her mind: she had nothing to wear to this stupid fucking party.

Most company parties were pretty professional; one could simply wear a nice casual dress or dress business casual. But at magazine and fashion companies... the bar was raised. Rey's company parties could be compared to a college one and several similarities would be found. She still had the dress she wore on the runway but since it hadn't officially been released yet, she couldn't wear it.

There was _plenty_ of time left in the day to go out and buy something which was basically her only option now. Despite working for a company that dealt with literal fashion, Rey wasn't into it much. It's why she did makeup.

She thought about how to make shopping more enthusiastic and immediately thought of Poe. He could give his opinion, plus it was also a good time to explain to him the details of her date with Ben, she supposed. It was long overdue since she promised him she'd call the day after which of course didn't happen.

After eating a fast breakfast, she scrolled through her contact list on her phone. until she found her best friends name.

Poe seemed to pick up as soon as she hit the 'call' button, as if he was sitting at the table just waiting for it.

"Finally, it's about time! Don't hesitate tell me _everything_ , all the deets."

Rey sighed, not wanting to do this over the phone.

"I'll uh.. I'll tell you later if that's okay. I was actually calling to see if you wanted to go out with me while I look for a dress for tonight?"

The line went silent. Poe probably wasn't expecting her _not_ to dish, meaning he was disappointed.

"So what you're saying is... I have to wait _even longer_ to hear about your night with pretty boy?"

" _Poe_ , patience, you'll hear about it soon enough. _Sooner_ if you come shopping with me today," she hinted.

Rey heard Poe huff pretty dramatically which made her roll her eyes playfully. "Alright alright I'll come with you. But you better spill girl! I've waited long enough as it is." He finally gave in.

"Awesome, thank you. What time should I head over to your place so we can go?"

He was silent for a few seconds. "Rey.. are you serious? There's no fucking way you're walking all the way over here, I'll pick you up. You're too kind sometimes ya know."

"I don't wanna be trouble.."

"Rey as much as I love you, please just shut up. You've never been a bother to me, I actually would prefer getting to spend more time with my friend. It's a pretty normal thing actually."

"Okay fine whatever jeez." She huffed.

"Just lookin' out for you kid. Anyway, I'll be there in a few hours if that's fine?"

"Yeah see you then. Bye."

After Rey hung up, she dropped her head into her hands already stressing even more about seeing Ben. Maybe by some miracle from God he wouldn't even be there.

_No, he definitely will be. His mother is the goddamn CEO, Rey_. She scolded herself.

When she spent the next few hours waiting for Poe to pick her up, she told herself that whatever happened, happened and to just pretend that he's nobody.

It didn't ease the butterflies in her abdomen in the slightest.

———

Throwing on a casual outfit, she grabbed her purse and headed down to the parking lot to meet Poe.

Rey marveled at Poe's dark gray 2018 Kia Optima. It might not be extremely fancy to him, but for her it was a rich people's car. She'd kill to drive _anything_. It definitely beat walking.

Before she could even get her seatbelt on, he was on her. "Alright girl, spill." Rey sighed heavily. "Start driving." With that, Poe shifted the gear to drive and rolled away from the apartment complex.

When Rey still didn't talk, Poe did.

"What, was it really that bad? I don't really know him but I thought he seemed cool."

Rey swallowed. She wouldn't cry, she wouldn't cry.

"No. No—uh it wasn't bad at all. In fact it was probably the best date I've ever been on."

Poe eyed her and raised a brow. "Then why are you acting like the guy told you it was all a joke or dare or something?"

"We kissed, Poe. We fucking kissed and it was the best fucking thing I've ever fucking experienced in my entire fucking life."

"Woah, okay. So enlighten me.. why is this a bad thing?"

The volume of Rey's voice dropped dramatically. "Because his girlfriend showed up right after..."

Poe's eyes widened at that and gave her a shocked look. "Oh my god, what a _dick_."

"Well at least she said she was. I don't know I guess she could be lying because Ben didn't say anything about it. I kinda just fled.."

Poe sighed sadly, "I'm sorry Rey, I wish you could find a decent guy out there who deserved you. Not many do, just know that."

Rey smiled small at her best friend's genuine care for her. "Thanks," she all but whispered.

"And I mean if you want me to, oh I don't know, teach the guy a lesson? You know who to call." He pointed at himself.

Rey chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Nah, that won't be necessary... yet."

They spent the rest of the car ride in a comfortable silence.

———

Rey and Poe went through a couple of different shops with no success. There were tons of gorgeous dresses in all of them, but none of them felt like her or simply looked good on her. Of course Poe's reaction to every single one was "That one's nice," which didn't really help.

Poe didn't even come shopping looking to get anything and _he_ had already bought something. It wasn't much, just a belt, but still.

She felt like she was shopping for prom dresses, but a little less fancy and a little more... revealing? As mentioned prior, RESISTANCE's parties weren't like any regular old office party. There were at least a hundred people there, probably more, and wasn't even very professional at all. Rey didn't mind it. At least it wouldn't be _super_ boring.

As they walked, the subject of Ben sprang up again.

"So, are you gonna talk to him tonight?" Poe questioned.

She looked at him, "I honestly have no idea. I wouldn't even know what to say were he standing in front of me right now."

"Hm. Maybe when you see him words will just come to you," he snapped his fingers on the last phrase.

Rey huffed partially because of the stress she still felt of seeing Ben and partially because she couldn't find a dress for the life of her.

She was about to say fuck it and just dig something out of her closet to wear when she spotted a beautiful red dress in the window of a tiny shop on a corner. Having a feeling it might be the one, she turned towards Poe who had just taken a call. She gestured that she was going in and he held up the 'okay' signal with his hand.

Immediately she scanned the shop for the dress in the window and found it with no trouble. Thankfully, they had one more of it in her size.

She slipped it on in the dressing room and it couldn't have fit better. A smile broke across her face at the sight of herself in the wall-length mirror. The dress was floor length which probably wouldn't be super common at the party but there was a slit that went up to about her mid-thigh to make up for it. It was strapless as well, revealing her tanned and slightly freckled shoulders.

Yep, this was the one.

There were even black heels she already owned to go along perfectly with it. For the first time she found herself a little excited for the party.

Rey winced a little when she glanced at the price tag, but ultimately found herself saying fuck it once again. It was stunning and maybe at the least Ben would think so too-

_No. No Rey, stop. He's nobody right now just shut up and don't fucking think of him._

But still, her words to herself didn't stop the thoughts of Ben from entering her mind.

She paid with the _not a ton of money_ she had in her bank account and stepped back outside into the warm spring day looking for Poe. He was done with his call so when he saw her with the bagged dress in her arms, he smiled.

"Heyyy, you found one!"

Rey smiled. "Yep."

"Damn, I didn't even get to see it on ya."

"Well, guess it'll be a surprise for tonight."

As they made their way back to Poe's car another question popped into Rey's head that she'd been meaning to ask him.

"Hey, speaking of tonight. Would you want to maybe.. like go with me? Just like drive there together and stuff?"

Poe's eyes lit up, "No yeah that's sounds great. It's actually perfect because Finn's out of town so it'll just be the two of us."

"Okay cool," she grinned to herself. Now at least she wouldn't look like a complete loner if she saw Ben.

Poe agreed to pick her up at 8 that night and dropped her back off at her apartment.

Inside, Rey spent a decent amount of time just admiring the long piece of fabric she'd be slaying tonight. She decided on a makeup look in her head that would go great with the red.

The rest of the day didn't consist of much, just simply waiting for the hours to roll by before she could start getting ready.

At one point she even picked up her phone and going to Ben's messages.

_Hey,_ she typed and after a moment deleted it. She realized she had no idea what she was even going to say had she sent the text.

Annoyed, she set an alarm and tossed her phone on the couch to take a power nap before waking up to shower.

The process went smoothly, her makeup turned out just how she envisioned it and her hair looked amazing. She lightly curled it so it fell in waves just above her shoulders.

After putting on the dress, she dug out her high black heels from her closet and slipped them on, adding a few inches to her standard height.

Rey strutted over to the body-length in the mirror and gazed at herself just like she did right before her date with Ben. She could only hope that this time it wouldn't end in utter disaster.

Checking the time on her phone, she saw a text from Poe saying that he was on his way. A herd of butterflies impaled her stomach at the realization that she was so close to seeing him.

_Chill. He's no one. Just chill._

She took a few deep breaths which calmed her for only minutes until another text from Poe came through saying that he was here. Rey felt herself grow pale but still walked out of her apartment the best she'd probably ever looked.

Rey swore she could see Poe's eyes bulging out of their sockets from inside the car when he caught sight of her. It's what he first mentioned when she slipped into the passenger seat.

"Damn girl, you clean up nice. The dress is gorgeous."

She laughed. "Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself. It's a shame Finn's not here."

Poe nodded sadly before pulling away from her complex the second time that day.

The butterflies only flapped their wings faster as they grew nearer. It was as if they were scared which easily reflected how Rey felt.

About fifteen minutes later, they pulled into the lot where all of the cars of her co-workers were. She was pretty sure she felt her heart drop into her stomach when she caught sight of Ben's Audi. She swallowed and reminded herself.

_He's no one. You're fine, you're fine..._

Poe parked and came around to her side to help her out of the car. Rey stared up at the architecturally beautiful building that the event was being held at. It was probably even bigger on the inside. The sound of her best friend's voice beside her made her break the trance she was in.

"You ready?"

Rey gave him her brightest smile and as much as she lied when she spoke she still said "Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready."

Poe have a half-smile and began the walk towards the building.

As she followed Poe, she continued to chant to herself that he was nobody and she was fine but deep down, Rey knew she was only lying to herself. Because he _wasn't_ nobody. And he could most likely never be nobody to her.

No.

He was definitely _somebody._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and keep me motivated to write quicker.


	7. Guardian Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to avoid Ben at the party (kind of?). That plan ultimately fails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys last angst chapter for a while.. we’ll be transitioning to fluff next chapter but for now enjoy a little more angst ur welcome ;))
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 100 KUDOS!! I LOVE YOU ALL DESPERATELY!! PLEASE STAY TUNED BECAUSE I HAVE A NEW FIC COMING OUT ON JULY 30th AKA TOMORROW!!! SUBSCRIBE TO ME TO BE NOTIFIED WHEN IT’S UPLOADED!! sry for caps

If one who was at the party didn't know Rey worked for RESISTANCE, they'd think she was still in high school based off the fact that she all but _clung_ to Poe for the entire first hour they were there. It reminded her of when she was young enough that her father was still alive and she'd stick to his side as he navigated through the streets, focus set not entirely at all on his daughter.

She didn't want to get lost either; the place was huge, with the main floor being that of a literal _ballroom_. The walls were decorated with a shiny golden wallpaper and were accompanied with extravagant glass chandeliers hanging from the atmospheric ceiling. Waiters carrying champagne flooded the area, little specks of white standing out in the crowd of rich models and those who worked with them. Not _for_ them, _with_ them. It was one of the couple things Rey despised about her position, that the stereotypical relation to models was she was their bitch. And yes, Rey completely understood why people thought it was supposed to be that way; it was quite evident when they ordered her around like a baby duck every day.

So when Poe introduced her to some of the models she didn't know or knew of, it was hard not to grimace at the obvious façade they put up when they were around Poe and his charismatic self. Rey could swear on almost anything that they'd give her the evil side-eye every once in a while which made her have to bite her lip in order to refrain from rolling her eyes.

The worst one of the batch turned out to be a woman named Jess and when Poe introduced her, Rey thought she recognized the name.

Jess looked _stunning_ , Rey would _kill_ to have her looks. An elegant violet dress framed her body and hugged her hips perfectly, also showing off her long and toned calves. It was no wonder she was in the modeling industry.

Just as Rey had (kind of) predicted, a flicker of recognition flashed across Jess' features at the sight of her when Poe gestured towards his best friend.

Jess tilted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes trying to decipher how she knew Rey.

" _Ahh_ ," she finally said before turning towards Poe again. "Isn't this the one who stole my spotlight a couple weeks ago?" Jess pointed her index finger at Rey with the hand that was also holding a glass of champagne.

_Oh_... right.

This probably wasn't the best way to know Jess...

Rey tried to form words, but none of them would come together; a bunch of single letters hung on her tongue. "I—uh actually.. I wasn't— I mean I did but.. you weren't there so.." she mumbled the last part, wanting to slowly fade away into nothing.

Jess smirked, towering over her slightly. "Relax, I'm just teasing." Rey met her gaze and by the look in her eyes, she could estimate that Jess was not in fact joking with her.

Rey shivered and Jess let out a heavy exhale, a smile finally making its way into her face. "It must've been fun right? To finally have attention on you for once?" Her lips parted as Poe spoke up, "Alright Jess.."

"Ah ah ah, not you too _Dameron_." She interrupted boldly. "Don't tell me you have a dry sense of humor now?" Jess pouted. This time Rey actually rolled her eyes and simply had to hope it wasn't noticed by the dashing but unbelievably bratty model in front of her.

"No, but maybe you could _dial it down a little_."

"Actually," Rey stepped forward suddenly feeling a wave of confidence wash over her and spoke over Poe's extremely quiet voice. "It was indeed a quite adequate evening. But it wasn't the attention or the couple guys possibly drooling over the dress on me that I enjoyed unlike the rest of you. No, it made me _feel_ good. I felt alive which is something I'd kill to feel all the time. See, I wait for those moments to feel like I'm truly living instead of turning to hard liquor or white powder or needles you all stick in your arms." Poe's gasp was very audible. Rey didn't notice how close her and Jess were now and the model was seething over her, eyes hard and jaw tense. Rey's neck was cranes slightly but she wasn't intimidated like she usually was. _What had come over her?_

"And," Rey continued. "Just in case you wanted to know...I've been told more than once how fucking amazing that dress looked on me." She specifically thought of Ben’s words to her that night.

"Mm," Jess hummed with uncertainty as she took a step towards Rey putting only inches between them now. "Better than I would've looked?" One eyebrow arched.

Rey plastered only a smirk on her face but on the inside she was _screaming_ , praising herself for the fight she'd put up. "Yeah, I'm damn sure of that."

The tension was _thick_ , one could slice it with a knife. Jess didn't retort, leaving them in a tense staring contest almost. After what seemed to be ten minutes, Jess took a step back but not before having the last word which Rey unfortunately had to admit, gave her chills.

"Know your place, girl," she said through severely clenched teeth. With that she gave a curt nod to Poe before striding away from the two, looking back once to leave a piercing glare with Rey along with awkward air around her and Poe.

After not more than three seconds, Poe stepped into Rey's line of sight with a mostly surprised but kind of concerning look on his face.

"You okay?"

Rey swallowed and sighed heavily, "Yeah I'm good."

"I gotta admit.. that was pretty badass. I didn't think you had it in ya." Rey smiled at his praise. "I'm just tired of her and everyone's bullshit. I'm done taking it."

"You shouldn't have to deal with that ya know... I'm sorry." Rey nodded as if to say _no it's not your fault don’t apologize._ When she didn't say anything else Poe perked up. "So," his tone grew more optimistic. "We should make a.. _oh_!" Poe spotted a waiter moving near them and he flagged him down. He carefully plucked two glasses of champagne from the tray and handed one to Rey. "We should make a toast to you for...not taking her bullshit!" Rey chuckled but raised her glass.

"To not taking bullshit," she said confidently. Poe repeated after her as they clinked their glasses and moved from their spot to mingle with other colleagues.

After a little while Rey noticed her slightly sour mood. She also found herself standing as tall as she possibly could, scanning the crowd for _something... someone?_

_Fuck_.

When she put two and two together it all made sense. She was looking for _Ben_ and her mood deteriorated a little more every time her eyes wouldn't locate him in the massive room.

Perhaps he really didn't come. Maybe it was because of her? The thought of him not wanting to even be in the same room with her that could be the size of a great lake made her heart hurt. She was aware that she was part of the issue; she hadn't given him much of a chance to explain. Rey wished he was there so maybe they could get back on track but it wasn't looking like that would happen tonight.

So instead of dwelling on the man she hoped would be _the one,_ she gave into Poe when she reached the tipsy side and agreed to make way to the middle of the room to dance.

Somehow it worked.. the alcohol definitely helped but soon enough Rey was having a blast with Poe and forgot — mostly — about Ben.

Her feet ached beyond explanation, especially since she was in heels, but that slight misfortune didn't stop her from swaying her hips to the music and throwing her hands in the air every once in a while when the music got everyone hyped up. Her and Poe laughed at their poor dancing but it made it all the more fun. She felt like a princess, her dress moving beautifully in sync with her body movements.

After a while, Poe stopped moving and stepped forward so his mouth was right by Rey's ear.

"I'm gonna run to the bathroom, I'll be back," he half-shouted due to the surrounding noises of music blasting and models squealing. Rey nodded and watched as he made his way through the tight crowd towards the restrooms. It was a good thing deodorant existed because it was _hot_ in the dancing area where people were pretty much pressed up against each other.

Rey turned in the other direction and caught the eye of a waiter, silently gesturing for a drink. After she downed it pretty quick, she went back to the dance floor. She was there alone now, waiting for Poe's return but she was still enjoying herself.

She waited for Poe for five minutes. And then ten. And soon twenty. Eventually she just accepted that he got swept away by another one of his friends or model or something.

_It's fine, you're fine,_ she told herself repeatedly in her head. _He'll be back, he'll be back, chill, you're okay._ After thinking it so many times she questioned herself, wondering if she was thinking of whether Poe would return or if Ben would come.

And she was okay... until about five minutes later.

Rey was used to the independency that was her life. The dancing area had cleared a little, leaving some room between bodies now. She swayed to the best of the music and soon forgot Poe wasn't there with her. The evening was turning out to be not half as bad as she thought it would be.

Suddenly a set of hands placed themselves on her waist from behind and Rey felt a little bit of warmth on her back signaling that someone was in fact pressed up against her intentionally.

At first, Rey hoped with all her life that Ben was the one holding her and she quickly scolded herself, but when a raspy and not-very-low voice spoke directly into her ear, the hope was immediately washed away.

"You look nice.... wanna maybe get outta here?"

Her eyes widened and escaped from his grasp, wanting to turn around to see who exactly was propositioning her in a quite straight-forward manner.

He was... definitely _not Ben._

The man didn't have long dark locks, but shorter ginger ones and he didn't have brown amber eyes, but piercing green ones. One could say he was the polar opposite of the man she wished was in front of her.

A crooked smile was on his face as he peered down at her. "I—uh no thanks actually. I'm here with a friend.." she said more timidly than she wished she sounded. Her tone was completely unlike the one she held with Jess only about an hour ago.

The man looked around for a second before settling his almost frightening gaze back on her. "I don't see them." He ushered. When she didn't respond he sighed heavily and wrapped his pale fingers around her wrist. " _Come onnn_ , if it means so much to you just find them on the way out and let 'em know you're leaving."

Rey's eyebrows furrowed in pure disgust as she wrenched her arm away from his hold. The uneasy feeling in her abdomen escalated to form it's own pulse, a flashing red alarm blaring as if saying _GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE NOW!!!_ It was a similar feeling from the night another man threw himself at her at night time. When Ben had... when he saved her. Thankfully now they were in a room full of at least a couple hundred people; she did not want a repeat of that night from a few weeks prior. _Why did this situation always find its way back to her?_

Realizing she wasn't alone in the dark night in an alleyway this time, a boulder of confidence tumbledtowards her at full speed, eventually crashing into her body harshly.

"I said _no_ , dude. Go find some other skank to hoe around with."

The man snickered. "Why would I do that when I have one right here?" Rey felt tears brimming behind her eyes. _No no no you don't cry right now, stay brave, you're okay, you're fine..._

He sighed again, his facial expression softening slightly, but the evil glint in his eye didn't fade which Rey noticed. The man took a half-step forward to reach for her again. " _Baby_ , plea—"

"She said no, Hux." A booming voice sounded from directly behind Rey, making her jump. The sentence was spoken so loudly that a few guests around them looked her way.

Rey focused on what the person behind her sounded like and when she replayed it in her head, she didn't have to hesitate to know whose it belonged to.

Her savior once again, Ben Solo.

_Hux_ looked up and over Rey's shoulder at the man behind her who she knew was Ben. " _Solo_ ," he sneered. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Rey could hear how livid Ben was by his tone. "I work here," he said obviously and lowly. "But I think that the question is better directed towards you."

The ginger's eyes hardened like stone at Ben and finally said, "I was just asking this lady if she'd like to go elsewhere with me."

Ben didn't hesitate before responding, "I think it's pretty clear she doesn't want to, that's what "no" means. _Fuck off_ Hux."

Rey swallowed shyly when Hux looked at her again but since Ben was here now, she wasn't nervous because of Hux anymore. But.. she was nervous because well... _Ben was here_. The conflict of wanting to hug him and wanting to run away was tearing her body in two.

So when Hux finally and thankfully walked away with a sneer on his pale face, Rey's heart began beating out of her chest... at least that's what it felt like. Unlike Hux, Rey didn't need to be physically touching Ben to feel the warmth radiating off of him.

She balled up her strength and turned around slowly, eyes looking at the ground, not daring to look him in the eye... not just yet. Instead she focused on Ben's shoes which were unbelievably shiny. _How in the world were they still that shiny? Had no one stepped on his feet yet? Or was this man just so rich that he could afford some kind of special shoe cleaner that keeps them clean all the time? She'd investigate later, perhaps find out the ridiculous amount of money it would cost to-_

"Rey.."

Her head shot up to look him in the eye almost unwillingly. Like there was some kind of force making her meet his gaze. There was still a hint of anger in his eyes from the encounter with Hux but the ingredient she took more notice of was the tons of regret and pain that filled his features.

Her lips parted as if she were going to say something but nothing came out. He did the same and every time just when she thought he'd speak up, he'd only close his mouth again.

After a staring contest that lasted what seemed like forever, Rey felt overheated and tears began to fill her eyes. She was too emotionally overwhelmed and the last thing she'd let Ben see right now was her crying.

It was clear he wasn't going to say anything so she stepped to the side and walked past him, lightly brushing his arm against her own. She grimaced when she swore she felt a spark when they touched.

In her first few steps away from Ben, she thought she heard him whisper her name not intending for her to hear it, but she did. As much as the pain in his voice hurt her, she continued to grow the distance between him all the while wanting so desperately to run back to him and leap into his arms. But she couldn't do that. Not when he still may have someone else.

Rey rushed to the front doors of the building praying she wouldn't run into Poe along the way and immediately sighed of relief when she pushed open the doors and breathed in the fresh outdoor air. It was much cooler out there but still comfortable, unlike inside. She stood on a vast white-painted porch; she leaned against the rails, elbows dangling over the edge as she looked out into the night.

Her heart rate slowed and her breathing began to normalize as she closed her eyes and focused on the sounds that the outside provided.... the constant noise of crickets... leaves on trees rustling... a few briefs chirping... the light wind howling... footsteps...

Wait.

Her eyes snapped open.

_Footsteps_.

At about the same time Rey heard them, she practically felt eyes staring at the back of her head. Nostrils flaring, she turned only her head and looked behind her to _of course_ see Ben no more then ten feet away from her.

Unlike from when they were inside, it was hard to determine what Ben was feeling. His features were plain, eyes dull and empty and mouth pressed into a firm line. The only indication of his inner emotions was the smallest twitch of his lips.

Angry that he interrupted her chill, alone, getting-herself-together moment, a wave of rage washed over her just like it had when Jess started shit-talking her.

She took a few steps forward so only a few feet separated them. His eyes followed her every movement. Rey's teeth were so clenched that it was hard at first to let the words escape her mouth but Ben needed to hear them and so she let them fly without much thought to what she was saying.

"Hey Ben! Oh, sorry I mean _Kylo_." She witnessed his jaw tightening at her words.

Rey never knew how to express her true emotions very well, so she did the thing she was good at. She went off on him.

"I don't really know how the name 'Kylo' relates to you but I guess it's just another thing on the long ass list of explaining you have to do." There was silence between them and just when Ben looked like he was going to speak up, Rey did first. "Also just so you're aware... just in case you didn't know... you're not my protector, Ben. You're not my fucking guardian angel, you're not _that guy,_ especially not right now. And you may not think so, but I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. It's always been that way and I don't see that aspect of my life changing any time soon, okay?" She paused, generously offering him time to respond but all he did was continue to stare at her, now with his lips parted.

Rey nodded her head with disappointment, sighing heavily when he didn't have anything to say. "Don't you have a girlfriend at home you should be with or something?" She raised her arm to gesture away from the building and then let her hand fall to her side, slapping her thigh loudly.

Now, he showed some movement. His nostrils flared as her did earlier and he inhaled sharply which spilled over into the tone of his voice, "Look, there's shit you _don't know_." Ben seethed.

"Alright, enlighten me then."

Ben huffed, "It's.. it's more complicated than that... can we just.. can we go somewhere more private to talk about this?" He eyed the few other people outside of the premises.

"No Ben, you haven't bothered to tell me anything yet so now's your chance, right here." Rey stared at him with questioning eyes but was silently pleading for him to just explain that all of this was a simple misunderstanding and that he still wanted to be with her.

But to her horror and ultimate sadness, Ben only parted his beautiful pink lips to speak and even took a breath to let the words fall out, before shutting them once again.

It was easy to tell what he was feeling now, his eyes were pools of sorrow, guilt and regret, all of them swirling together to meet in the eye of the hurricane that was his pupil; the center of the storm conveyed the most emotion, it radiated off him and pierced Rey like a dagger straight through her heart.

Having received her answer without even hearing him speak, Rey nodded in distress and gave him a parting look before turning away from him and fleeing from the porch. She heard him take a single step towards her but then halt, letting her go.

Rey could almost sense how upset he was but it probably wasn't much compared to the utter shattering of her heart that just occurred all over again.

When she was a good distance away — but still able to see the premises — from the building that Ben wouldn't be able to see her due to the dark, she stopped and turned around to see if he was still there. A sad frown tugged on her lips when she saw him in the same spot she left him in, his gaze set on the place where she had disappeared into the night.

She couldn't see his expression sharply, but it was enough to be able to realize how alone he seemed. It reminded her of herself and immediately found guilt watering her down. Maybe somehow his past was nearly as painful and tragic as hers in few ways.

Most of the guilt that invaded Rey's senses faded away at the sighting of none other than Bazine approaching Ben. _That_ was the nail in the coffin; it was the thing that made her turn around and begin the long, lonely walk back to her apartment complex.

It wasn't a big deal though. She was used to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


	8. Worth It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets a late-night visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, deep apologies for the late update. I’ve been so crazy busy with school and work that I’ve barely had any time to myself. Updates may be a little more scattered for a little while but I’ll definitely still be finishing this fic! 
> 
> Also, check out my most recent work called “Where’s My Love”. Chapter 3 coming soon!!

Blurry spots of light passed in Rey's peripherals from outside the cab. The city lights were bright, but the liquid matter in her eyes made everything more dull - not only her sight but also her current life events. Under a streetlight, the silhouettes of a walking hand-in-hand couple were visible. The shorter shadow leaned on the taller one, head resting on his arm with an arm wrapped around it as well. Rey kept her gaze locked on the two until the cab had completely passed them, leaving them in their own world of affection again.

Rey sighed and turned to face the front of the cab again, throwing her head back on the headrest a little more aggressive than necessary. Because oh, what she'd give right now to substitute those strangers for her and Ben.

There was finally someone who felt so right for her but of course nothing could ever go _just right_ enough for things to work out in the end.

She tried. Rey actually gave him the chance to speak and explain himself. The ball was thrown into his court and yet he still did nothing with it. Rey wanted to clear the air so fucking bad, but perhaps he didn't feel the same. If he really did, he would've talked. She couldn't believe anything else.

It was all she could think about watching the Chicago night through her fuzzed vision.

Why didn't he say anything?

Why didn't he fucking say _anything_?

Rey wanted with all her heart for it to work between them but he was making it ridiculously difficult. Maybe it was time to accept that he _wasn't_ the one and he would never be.

After ten minutes of pure agony in the back seat of a cab, when Rey stepped out of the cab that was parked in front of her complex she immediately winced at the soreness in her feet. She had tried to walk it off at first but twenty minutes into the journey home, she gave in and called for a taxi with the small amount of money in her purse.

Rey felt stupid to cry. The amount of times she wept over Ben was absurd, so her body was severely tense as she made her way to her apartment to refrain from the tears spilling. Because of her rigid form, she slammed the door a little harder than necessary — _no, it was definitely necessary_ — and went straight to her room, kicking off her heels and dropping her purse on the floor along the way.

Not caring that she was still in the now slightly uncomfortable dress, she let herself fall backwardsrecklessly onto the bed so she was staring at the ceiling, calves and feet hanging off the bed so her toes barely touched the cold floor.

She let out a shaky huff and for the hundredth time, reminisced over the events of the last couple hours.

The dark beige ceiling above her slowly blurred and she only saw images of Ben — and her. She went through and found every sign of affection he'd ever shown, trying to piece together what she truly meant to him – if anything at all.

A flash of him standing at her makeup area backstage when he first called her beautiful. Another image of him in the driver's seat as he steered with a tight hand on the wheel after the bar incident. And the one she couldn't forget no matter how hard she tried to – the look on his face right before their lips met on the pier. How he looked at her like she was the only person to ever exist, the only person he'd ever held and yet still not really knowing her at the same time.

And see that's the thing... how could she feel the same about him? How can one feel so fond of someone yet not even know their intentions?

Even now, after he hurt her... she would do so much for him. Give up so much for anything... more than she should want to. She may not ever show it and demand explanation prior but deep in her soul, Rey would give him almost anything she could.

Her mind told her she was conflicted but her heart told her she was falling unconditionally.

With that, a part of her wanted to forgive him. Forgive him for lying about Bazine, for not explaining anything to her. But of course the logical part of her screamed to keep her distance.

Life currently was like a cloudy day for Rey. A part of her liked them, liked the cool misty air that she could breathe in and the calm vibe it radiated. But there was also a sliver of herself just wishing for the sun to come out so she could go outside and experience new things, discover things she'd end up loving.

The fact that she caught sight of Bazine there with Ben made the clouds darken and the rain pour. It was a sight she wished she'd never have to see again after _that_ night but here she was again.

All at once the imagery faded and Rey focused on the ceiling once again. With tears beginning to form behind her eyes, she had a strong urge to reach to the side table for her phone to see if he left anything for her to read or listen to. But before she could command her arm to move, she remembered dropping her purse which held her phone on the hard-wood floor back near the front door and her body sagged into the bed a little further like she could hide away there for a while until everything was better.

Maybe it was a sign that she didn't need to check.

He probably hadn't reached out to her anyway.

———

How in the hell had he ended up in this situation _again_?

Why is he just standing on the front porch?

Why didn't he explain?

Why did he let her go?

And why the _fuck_ didn't he explain anything to her?

Ben wanted to smack himself in the forehead for his stupidity. He didn't know what happened. The words were prepared in his head.. all he had to do was unleash them for Rey. But when the time came he just.. froze. It sounded like an excuse but he truly didn't know what caused his skin to turn to ice and limbs to go into a state of paralysis.

As he watched the girl he was falling for helplessly create more distance between them, he pleaded in his mind for her to wait, to come back.

The words never made it off his tongue because a hand rested itself on his shoulder just as Rey was almost completely out of his sight. Ben turned to his side to see Bazine hovering next to him, smiling with an evil glint in her eye. He wasn't going to deal with this.

Ben was able to shoo her away pretty quickly; she wanted his attention and he didn't give it to her.

As soon as Bazine was out of his sight, Ben turned back to look into the night only to discover that Rey was too.

He clenched and unclenched his jaw along with his fists and tried taking deep breaths and that helped just barely but eventually he pulled himself together enough to unclench his fists; but as soon as they unfolded, he dropped his head into them and let out an overdue sigh of distress.

Ben didn't remember the last time he was this angry at _himself_. Angry in general yes, but it was usually directed towards his family or work or anything else. Never him. Or Rey. He didn't think he could ever be livid with her without an overwhelming strong cause. And maybe not even then, if he could've prevented the situation.

Too many people had walked out of his life. His parents were namely the biggest ones. He couldn't bear to see someone else he cared about so deeply leave again.. but this time it was at his fault.

He had to get out of there.

Ben turned towards the entrance of the building and walked in to find his mother; to let her know he was leaving so she didn't go on a witch hunt for him later in the evening.

Hovering just inside the front doors, he craned his neck trying to seek out the short older woman who'd definitely be talking up a storm with someone. After only thirty seconds though, someone _did_ catch his eye.

But it wasn't Leia.

It was.. that–that guy Rey was always hanging around. _Poe_? Was his name?

Before Ben could avert his gaze and focus somewhere else, Poe began striding towards him fiercely and Ben was worried this dude was trying to start something with him. The worry lasted only seconds because when Poe stopped in front of him he sighed.

"Hey, uh–Ben is it?" He confirmed with a nod. "I'm looking for Rey? Have uh– have you seen her? I left her for a couple minutes but got caught up talking to some people and now I can't find her."

Ben did nothing but blink dumbly at the shorter man, not wanting to admit that he had driven Rey away. _Again_. 

Sentences weren't forming in his brain, only staggered words so instead of making an attempt to speak, he stood in silence.

Poe's brows furrowed and spoke after Ben didn't. "Hey look man, sorry I just thought you guys were talking or something, I'll just keep looking around for her. Thanks anyway buddy." He turned to leave and go look by the restrooms agai—

"Wait, man!"

At first Ben didn't recognize his deep longing voice but when Poe turned back to look at him he realized it was indeed him who spoke.

"I uh– I saw her– I _talked_ to her actually a few minutes ago." Poe raised a brow. Ben sighed. "But uh– she.. she's gone now."

Poe took a dangerous step towards Ben, questioning him. "What do you mean _she's gone_?" It was also then that Poe remembered why he felt the need to punch the brooding, dark-haired man in the gut. _He had a girlfriend. He hurt Rey. He hurt his best friend._

And nobody got away with that.

Ben took a shuddering breath. "I mean...I tried to talk to her about– I uh– I screwed up.. kinda... I mean–" He struggled once again to find the words. He let his eyes close and focused on taking a couple deep breaths.

_In. Out._

_In. Out._

_In. Out._

And when he opened his eyes, the words were miraculously there.

"We went out and my ex showed up, bragging about how she was my girlfriend or whatever..." Ben didn't even like the term "girlfriend." It seemed juvenile. Juvenile was the way to describe his relationship with Bazine, but he'd never use it to describe how it was with Rey. "Rey left before I could really say anything and I've tried so many times to talk to her but I just.. can't and I don't know why."

Poe nodded.

_So he **didn't** have a girlfriend. Good to know._

"She told me. You crushed her dude."

Ben rolled his eyes. "Thanks bro, as if I didn't know that."

"Okay, then not to pry... actually yeah kind of to pry but _dude_. Why the hell haven't you explained that to her? You've had all the time in the world!"

"I don't know.." Ben murmured, looking at the shiny hard-wood floor. The truth was, he did know. Just then in that moment with _Poe_ of all people, he realized why talking to Rey was terrifying. Well, talking to her in general was easy. He was actually very straight-forward usually with her, as proven during the first time he approached her. He smiled small, remembering how bold he used to be with her...

" _For what it's worth, I'd only buy one of those if it was you on the cover."_

_"I just thought I'd come find you and tell you how beautiful you looked out there."_

How in the _fuck_ did he ever have the courage to do that?

He knows. _Oh yeah, he knows._

It's because there weren't any strong, deep feelings involved yet. But now there were. And it terrified him to be so vulnerable around her. He was never good at expressing his true emotions with the people he cared about. He never really had to before; there weren't any real feelings there with Bazine. That particular relationship was purely physical.

He was scared that when he opened up to Rey, she'd leave. It's what everyone else had done in his life so how could she be any different? She'd be crazy to stay for him.

But _god_ , when he first laid eyes on her on the runway it was like an angel was sent to Earth just for him. She tormented his thoughts from the first time their eyes met and somehow that feeling he got when she met his gaze carried him backstage to her small makeup area.

"I think you do." Poe's voice made Ben snap out of his trance and glance back up at Rey's best friend.

"I just–" Ben winced when his voice came out as shaky and small. "I'm not good at talking about.. you know... my feelings and stuff. I'm afraid she won't.. believe me?"

Ben cursed himself internally at a realization. How was it that he was able to be open with Poe, this man whom he'd never met before, and yet he couldn't muster out a single word of explanation when it came to Rey?

"Are you asking me what you're afraid of or are you telling me?"

Ben growled lowly. "I don't _fucking_ know man! I just want her okay!" He let out a humourless laugh. "But I don't know if she'll give me another chance. Not before it's really started."

"Well.." Poe clapped him on the shoulder. "You'll never know until you talk to her, will ya?"

"Yeah I guess." Ben mumbled, just wanting to not be in a room surrounded by two hundred people anymore. He only wanted to be in a room with one right now and she wasn't here. He had to change that. Now.

"Look I know how fondly she feels for you, man. Don't let her get away. I don't want any more distressing phone calls from her about you, got it buddy?" Ben winced at the fact that she was upset and couldn't talk to him, but he was about to make sure that wouldn't happen again.

"Got it, thanks... Poe right?"

"Yep. Good luck." They shook hands and Poe was gone within seconds, he'd disappeared into the sea of bodies.

Ben was gone from the interior of the place within seconds too, completely forgetting about the fact that he was originally looking for Leia.

He was going to Rey's and he was also completely terrified. He'd probably sound stupid expressing his true feelings for her but he was also falling _hard_ , and something told him that being a little vulnerable with the woman he wanted would all be worth it in the end.

———

After sulking on the bed for another half hour, the itchiness of the dress was finally irritating her skin beyond belief.

Wiping the small amount of wetness from her face, Rey changed into a pair of thin grey sweatpants and a white tank top and forced herself to get out of her bedroom. She wouldn't cry.. she wouldn't cry.. well not because of _him_ , but she'd allow herself to cry over whatever sad movie she'd probably end up watching.

Throwing her hair up in a messy bun without any care, she plopped herself on the couch in her small living area and switched on Netflix, scrolling until she found "The Notebook." She knew she was torturing herself but didn't care enough to try and force herself into a decent mood. 

By the time she got to the ferris wheel scene, thoughts and images of Ben had mostly faded form her mind and she actually found herself smiling at the screen a little bit.

She snuggled a little deeper into the fuzzy blanket that coated her small body and tried to force her eyes open, not wanting to sleep yet surprisingly. But when she was almost an hour into the movie, her eyes fluttered shut and began to sleep lightly.

It seemed like only two minutes before a loud and frantic knocking sounded from.. _somewhere_? The sound made Rey sit up at lightning speed, scaring the hell out of her. She realized then that someone was knocking at her door at... _11:53PM_? Who the hell could possibly want to see her this late?

Rey reached for the remote and paused the movie, the knocking still sounding through every movement she made. "I'm coming, goddamn.."

Too tired to even care that she was answering the door at midnight to whom she had no clue, she padded to the door and swung it open with force.

"What could anyone possibly ne–" Her words by halted by a familiar presence. She was at a loss for words and suddenly Rey felt very, very awake.

Standing at six foot three, still in a suit, was Ben.

Rey raised her eyebrows for him to say something, _anything_ , especially after he didn't at the party. When he just stood there once again, she huffed. “Ben if you're not gonna day anything then why are you here?"

He just stared.

Again.

Rey nodded sadly. She was over this bullshit. “Okay Ben. Go home. Go home to your girlfriend and have a nice life." She went to shut the door but when it was halfway closed, Ben shot out a hand to keep it from shutting.

"Wait, Rey.." She heard him and opened the door again with an irritated expression plastered on her face. "Just.. just let me explain.." He pleaded.

" _Explain? Explain_!" Rey said without considering that her neighbours might hear their conversation now that she was almost shouting. "Ben, I have given you _countless_ chances to explain what happened and every time you just stand there," she gestured towards his stance, "and say nothing so I don't know what you expect from me. I'm also not the one who didn't tell the person I was seeing that I had a _significant other!"_ She was seething. 

"Rey, listen–" Ben growled and stepped towards her, making her retreat with every step he took. He was now inside the apartment, still near the door though.

"No _you_ listen," Rey pushed a single finger onto his broad chest, testing him, "Who do you think you are to act so charismatic and romantic towards me and _kiss me_ only for me to find out _not through you may I add_ that you have a fucking girlfriend! I mean who even-"

"Rey.."

"-does that! I actually liked you ya know! For the first time in a while I felt something between us but I guess I was wrong! So go! Go, Ben. Go home to your girlfriend because I. don't. want. you. here. anymore." She said through a single shuddered breath, pushing his chest with her finger with every word... because she _did_ want him... in every single way a person could want somebody. But due to the circumstances, she couldn’t have him.

Ben still didn't go. "Ben! Go!" She threw a hand out towards the door.

Now she was growing _livid_. "Ben I swear to god if you don't get out of here in-"

"SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND, OKAY?"

There was only silence after that. Torturous, deafening silence. It was as if the world blew up and left nothing but quietness behind when there was nothing left.

Rey was too shocked to even remember to breathe. But Ben was breathing like he'd been starved of oxygen for years.

He sighed. "Look, we- we're not together. Anymore." Rey raised her eyebrows. "We _were_ together but there weren't any real feelings there... wasn't in love or anything. I barely even tolerated her to be honest. I realized how manipulative she was just like my old boss and broke up with her before moving out here." Rey's expression softened and he was beyond thankful for it. "She means nothing to me, I promise you. I've made a ton of mistakes in my life and letting you get away has been a big one, so please, can we- can we just move forward.. together?"

Tears began to brim behind her eyes as she realized just how much she wanted him. “Why didn't you just tell me this before?" She said lowly with sadness coating her tone. Ben's heart hurt for making her feel this way.

"Because I..I was afraid." _No going back now._ "I was afraid to tell you how I really feel about you because I've never really done any of this before. I was scared to tell you how much I like you and how much I want you and how you're unlike anyone I've ever met before. And I know I've said that before but I just-" He laughed humourlessly. "I don't know how I can feel this way so fast but I don't think I've ever needed someone as much as I need you."

It was fast. She knew that. They'd only been on one date before it all went to hell. But she knew exactly what he meant. Because she felt the overwhelming strong need for him too.

"But she- why was she there tonight?" She believed him but still needed more answers.

"God knows," Ben sighed, realizing that she had in fact seen her there with him. "Probably to get to me. To convince me to go back to LA with her. I pushed her away seconds after she came up to me."

Rey nodded and looked at the ground, biting her pretty and pink bottom lip. "So just to clarify.. you are single, correct?" She had the tiniest smirk on her face now which made his heart blossom.

He looked into her eyes with seriousness. "No."

Rey's heart dropped, but only for a second before he continued. "If I recall, being single means _not having a significant other_ and I want you to be that for me and me for you."

She stared at him wondrously. _How’d she find him?_

Ben couldn't recall how the next event even happened. One second he was standing in front of her, staring into her beautiful wide eyes he could look into for the rest of his life and the next she was jumping into his arms, legs wrapping around his waist. Her hands slithered up to link around his neck making their faces only inches apart.

Rey smiled stupidly and pressed her lips to his. As soon as their bodies met, everything felt so _right_. Like everything in the world now made sense somehow.

Ben groaned into her mouth as a response and prodded his tongue at her entrance. She obliged and let him in, their tongues fighting for dominancy.

When Ben felt Rey tug his locks behind his head, he grew _feral_. Turning around with her still in his arms, he backed her against the front door with a loud slam that would definitely wake somebody, if their yelling hadn't already.

It took a while, but Rey managed to shrug off Ben's blazer and unbutton the buttons on his shirt one by one, growing antsy when she couldn't get one undone. She untucked his shirt and ripped it off him, now having the ability to admire his broad and _bare_ torso.

Rey ran her hands over his chest feeling the smooth and soft skin that covered Ben. When she pulled her gaze away from his pecs, she regarded his swollen bottom lip with pride. She smirked, "Yes, by the way." His expression of admiration turned to one of question and Rey immediately smacked herself in the face mentally for making him lose the expression that made her feel like she was the only girl in the world. "What do you mean?" He said plainly but with just a hint of flirtatiousness in his tone.

"I wanna be your... how did you put it... _significant other?_ " A smile immediately took its place back on Ben's face and Rey reflected his expression. He closed the inch separating them, kissing her with longing and passion. "I'm sure we can find a... _better_ name to establish our relationship," Ben sighed when he finally had the strength to pull away from her sweet taste.

Rey's heart fluttered at the word _relationship_. It wasn't something she'd ever truly experienced; the farthest she'd ever gotten was a third date. So overall, she was completely terrified but the thought of getting to be with him, see him and kiss him (especially that) every day made her knees weak. It was a good thing she wasn't standing at the moment.

She wasn't sure who leaned in first again. Hell, maybe both of them did at the same time and met in the middle, but seconds later they were on each other again, the kisses growing deeper. Her legs tightened around Ben's waist, not wanting any inch of her to be disconnected from him.

All at once, his lips were gone and Rey whined at the loss of contact but the whimper was immediately replaced with a moan as Ben's mouth made contact with her neck. He sucked at her pulse, drawing out her moan even further. There would definitely be marks tomorrow... not that she was complaining..

They were panting now, completely lost in each other. It made perfect sense to both of them; they were starved of the other for so long and now that they had finally overcome the obstacles, there was no more hiding or pretending what this was. It was real between them. And they would act like it was everything to them. Because it was.

In the middle of one of the many heated kisses they'd shared, Ben released a groan that sounded from deep in his chest. It was animalistic and unlike any sound Rey had ever heard him make. She didn't realize it until he groaned again, but when she glanced down she took in the sight of her hips rolling against his, grinding straight on his erection.

She shifted a little so her clit was rubbing right against his hardness, and the pleasure was there immediately. They moaned into each other's mouths as she rolled her hips faster and faster.

Ben reaches forward to palm her breasts, which made her climax approach even quicker. Rey threw her head back as her hips still worked against him and groaned lowly.

"F–fuck Rey.. you– you're gonna make me..."

"Me too," Rey said almost on top of his words. She was _so close. Just a little more.._.

Somehow Rey moved against him even _faster_ with more aggression because within ten seconds Ben wasmoaning unlike he had that night. "R-Rey I-I'm cumming. C-cum for me. Cum with me baby." His words were it for her. They peaked at the same time, liquids pooling between them.

Rey felt disgusting herself, but also beautiful since she was with him.

She caught her breath still in Ben's arms and was even about to fall asleep with her head resting on his shoulder before she felt slight movement. Forcing an eye open, she saw the hallway to her bedroom passing by her. Rey smiled small, finding it amusing that he could find her bedroom with ease and without having to ask her. Or maybe he just didn't want to wake her. Either way.. she liked him a little more then.. if that was even possible.

As soon as she felt her body being lowered onto the smooth and cool sheets, she moaned at the comfort surrounding her. She knew she should really shower but was too tired to care. Keeping an eye open, she regarded Ben slipping off his pants so he was in nothing but his boxers.

_Fuck he was hot._

Even in the darkness she made out his thick and muscled thighs which made her want to repeat the last event all over again. Her eyes closed again.

"Rey."

"Mm?"

When he didn't respond, she cracked an eye open, questioning his questioning expression. When he spoke it was like he was afraid of her answer, his voice being small.

"Do-do you want me to-"

"Yes." She knew what he was asking.

_Do you want me to stay?_

He sighed with content and relief as he moved towards the other side of the bed, carefully situating himself next to her. Ben pulled up the duvet and covered them, with Rey sinking into the bed a little more for warmth.

Ben noticed this along with her slightly shaking and cold form; he pulled her into him, tucking her head under his chin and wrapping his long arms around her. His body engulfed her and she _loved_ the feeling. She loved him being in her every direction.. fuck, everything they went through was so worth if it meant she could fall asleep like this every night.

Their legs were tangled and Rey loved being so close to him finally. If she could, she'd choose to live in the heat of Ben's chest. Seriously wanting to, she burrowed deeper into him, eliciting a small chuckle from deep in his chest which she felt against her cheek.

A hand slithered up Rey's back to gently stroke at her hair and she had never felt more cared for. She was so calm with him when they were on good terms and now that they moved past their odds, there was no where to go but up.

Ben's warmth along with his magical hands lulled her to sleep, finding it easier to succumb to than she had in years.

A couple minutes later (or an hour later, she didn't know) Rey heard his voice and since she was on the brink of being asleep, she wasn't completely sure if what he was saying was real or part of a dream. _God, please let it be real._

The kiss she distantly felt at the crown of her head made her believe in the reality of the situation a little more. His words converted into her first dream of the night; of course, it was about him.

"Sleep, beautiful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to smutville!! please enjoy your stay :)
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always deeply appreciated and keep me motivated!


	9. Trying Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben go on their second first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i up the chapter count? yes.
> 
> do i regret it? no.
> 
> also this chapter is pure fluff so pls enjoy.

Waking up felt different... foreign to Rey. Had she ever felt this comfortable in her own bed? Why did a wave of euphoria pass over her right in her waking moments?

Rey hated mornings usually as most did; she never wanted to get up to do whatever was on her to-do list for the day. But for some strange reason, there was no stress clinging to her body, only happiness and hopefulness.

Just as she was about to open her eyes and return to Earth, a large hand which she now realized rested on her stomach, twitched.

Oh.

Right.

Ben spent the night. Ben came to her apartment and explained everything. They were _together_ now.

She was finally devoid of the vast pit of dread that settled in her stomach which Rey had woken up with every morning that they weren't on good terms. So this morning, the hole was gone, and she was glowing. Relief and euphoria flooded her senses.

Rey blinked rapidly trying to clear her blurry vision and when she did, she turned her head to peer behind her at the sleeping but still handsome man acting as the big spoon. His muscled arms were wrapped tightly around her petite body, yet she was still overly comfortable. She felt _safe_ by simply being in his embrace.

One hand was splayed out across her abdomen, covering almost the whole area while the other rested just below her breasts, not far from the other hand.

Watching Ben sleep made her fall for him a little more; he was completely still save for the twitch under his left eye every once in a while and his mouth showed a light, loose, and peaceful frown. She could see the moles that scattered his face clearer now; the larger ones were accompanied by smaller ones found between patches of clear skin more frequently.

His hair was messy but still looked terribly soft and she yearned to reach out to stroke it, but thought better of it when she remembered how peaceful he seemed. She didn't want to disturb his calm state.

Turning back around, she nuzzled into her pillow just as she felt Ben bury his face in the back of her neck a little deeper. She smiled, strands of his hair tickling her skin making goosebumps arise.

Rey glanced at the clock on the side table. It was only _6:48 am._ Not holding back a yawn, she gave in to her still tired body and fell back asleep while feeling Ben's arms tighten around her a little more.

The smile that beamed on her face at his touch remained even after she was in a sleeping state.

———

The feeling of pure elation that coated her body stayed with her as she woke for the second time that morning. There wasn't a single time she could think of on the spot where she felt happier than right now in bed with Ben.

The sheets were still cool beneath her despite the body heat that her and Ben were likely radiating. She nuzzled further into her pillow seeking touch but felt stupid when she remembered her man could easily provide that for her. And he was right next to her.

_Duh._

Rey rolled over with her eyes still closed fully expecting to make contact with Ben's huge and warm frame, but instead she hit something harder.

The ground.

But _before_ that, her head made contact with the side table, no doubt leaving a nasty bruise or scratch on her forehead.

Rey flipped her body so her forehead was pressed against the hard wood floor but she immediately retracted when a dull pain sprung on her head. Somehow she'd already forgotten about hitting her head. She hissed in pain and flipped over again so she was staring at the ceiling, not much different from how she'd been before Ben came over last night.

Ben.

Why wasn't he here?

Wasn't he just— he _was_ here. When she woke up earlier she was in his arms and now he..

He was gone.

Rey sat up faster than the speed of light to check the bed and sure enough it was devoid of him. It was then that the pit of uncertainty and heartache began to form in her abdomen and it was also then that she realized she never wanted to feel it again.

Climbing over the bed frantically, she grabbed her phone that rested on her side table and scanned her messages for any sign from Ben. The most recent texts however were still ones from their miscommunication, when they fought.

Rey hoped desperately that wouldn't be happening again right now.

She told herself to stay calm and not get worked up since he could be anywhere else in the apartment. But after she checked the bathroom, the kitchen, living room, _the closet,_ and the bathroom again, she let herself fill with sadness.

He didn't even text.. or leave a note. Did he really regret last night so terribly that he couldn't even say where he was going? Or that he left?

Things went well finally? Or so she thought.

Rey hated crying over men. Every time it occurred, she cursed herself for it because she felt like a naive, juvenile little girl who got her heart broken too much. So when she placed herself on the sofa and gave into her tears, some of them were sobs of anger at herself. Angry for thinking he was any different, angry for truly believing there was someone worthy out there.

And what changed? What dramatic shift had occurred between the times where she woke in his arms and when she woke alone? He must've second guessed himself, realizing she wasn't what he wanted in the end.

The climax of her sobs were over, only stray tears streaked down her cheeks now. She clutched a pillow to her chest.

Out of nowhere the knob of the front door jiggled which sent Rey into a slight panic about how sudden it was. Quickly glancing at the hook by the door, she noticed that her spare key was missing. Odd, since she never used it nor gave it to anyone.

Her panic immediately eased to relief as soon as the door swung open revealing Ben. What made her at peace even more was when she saw the takeout and grocery bags that filled his arms.

Wiping off the wetness on her face, she jumped from the couch and made her way to Ben.

"Oh hey, let me help you with these," she said while not maintaining eye contact with him.

"Thanks," he sighed. "The store was crazy busy for some reason, took me forever to check out."

"Oh," Rey said too high pitched for her liking as they set everything on the counter. " _That's_ where you were." She chuckled lightly but accidentally met Ben's eyes. His plain expression morphed into one of concern as soon as he really looked at her.

"Hey– _hey_ what's the matter darling?" He must've seen her red-rimmed eyes.

"Oh," she sniffed. "Nothing it's stupid," she mumbled, averting her gaze to the groceries.

In her peripherals, she saw Ben take a light step toward her and extend his arm so he grasped her chin and turned her back towards him. His other hand came up so he cupped her face, looking into her eyes so deeply she thought she might die.

" _Rey._ " She shivered at the authority in his voice and yet his eyes were still so soft. "Tell me. What happened?"

Her breaths were shuddered and her cheeks heated but finally she managed to let the words escape. "I just.. I didn't know.." she swallowed, "I woke up and you weren't here and I thought you were gone and I thought you didn't _want me_ because last night was the best thing that's happened to me in a while and I was so scared I fucked.."

Her last few words were muffled as he pulled her into his chest, arms enveloping her small frame. "Shhh, it's okay. I'm sorry Rey, I didn't wanna wake you and I didn't know it'd take that long. It's okay..." he cooed.

Rey tilted her head back to look up at him, her body still flush with his. He stood on her tippy toes and kissed him lightly before mumbling against his lips, "Don't apologize, it's just me being dumb which is something you might have to get used to unfortunately."

"You're not being dumb," he said as Rey fell back on her heels. "The people in your life may not have cared as much as they should've about you but _please_ know Rey, I'm not gonna do that to you okay? I promise." Ben pulled her back to his chest so he could rest his cheek on the crown of her head, nuzzling her hair and inhaling her sweet scent.

Eventually they pulled away from each other and Ben sighed, moving past the emotional moment. He brushed a few strands of hair away from her forehead and she hissed, remembering how she banged her head on the table earlier.

" _Shit Rey_ , you're bleeding.."

She took a few steps towards the wall mirror in the living room and pressed two fingertips to the shallow laceration and when she looked back at her hand, sure enough there was blood. The corner of the table must've ran jaggedly across her skin, cutting it.

A moment later, Ben appeared behind her reflection with a wash cloth. She turned and allowed him to clean up the wound, mumbling sweet apologizes every time she hissed or groaned at the stinging. 

When he was finished, Ben pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead not far from the cut, but not near enough to cause any pain. Rey smiled at the gesture and thanked him.

"Not a problem," Ben returned the smile and started to walk back to the dimly lit kitchen.

"Anyway," he started, "I went out and got some things, figured you'd be hungry. It didn't seem like you had much here so.." The expression of concern started to show on his face once again. She hesitantly followed him to the counter where the stuff he got sat.

Rey looked to her cabinets which were not even half as full as they should be. "Yeah uh, I just don't really have the money to eat exquisitely everyday.."

"Rey, you need to take care of yourself. I don't want you to ever not eat again because of your financial state, do you understand me? If you ever need help I want you to come to me. Okay?"

She didn't want his help or his pity but figured he wouldn't let up until she agreed.

"I will, I promise."

———

"I wanna take you out tonight," Ben says as they're cuddled up on her couch watching some movie set in space that he _insisted_ she watch. Rey looked up at him from where she was nuzzled into his side. "Why?" she said dumbly. Ben's brows furrowed. "What do you mean _why_? You're my girlfriend for lack of a better term, why wouldn't I want to? Don't you?

Rey sat up. "No no no of course I do. That was just very random.. what makes you want to?"

He sighed and pulled her closer, "I just feel.. bad about last time. I wanna make it up to you."

"You don't have to feel bad Ben, it wasn't your fault your psycho ex-girlfriend showed up without warning."

"I know, I know. Still though, could be fun. It'll be our second first date," he smiled cheekily. 

"Hm," Rey said contemplating. She already knew her answer, but teasing was fun. "I don't know I'll have to think about it," she said as she moved back into her previous position, focusing on the television screen. 

Next to her, she felt Ben tense slightly and his arm around her stiffen. She smiled small and evil, trying not to let Ben see through the facade she was putting up. But when she snuck a glance at him and saw that he was staring intently at the floor obviously deep in thought and possibly doubting himself, she started to feel the guilt overcome her.

Immediately she sat up a little once more and cupped his face with one hand, forcing him to look at her. It was dim in the living room but she could still make out the insecurity and uncertainty in his eyes. 

"I'm just teasing Ben, of course I'll go out with you. _Again_." Rey pressed her lips to his passionately and Ben immediately responded by kissing her back. She nipped at his bottom lip trying to get his humorous self back. Ben chuckled lightly granting her victorious. 

"I was hoping you would," Ben said as he ducked his head to suck a mark on Rey's neck. She let out a light moan and Ben looked up at her, removing his luscious lips from her skin. 

"Rey," he growled. "Stop that or I won't be able to control myself."

She opened her eyes to him and pouted, scooting to the far side of the couch and crossing her arms. Ben smirked at his girl and they finished the movie in a comfortable silence.

———

He took her back to the pier first, but they did so much more since it was early evening and still daylight, so several attractions were open compared to the last time they were there.

They went into several shops, Rey spotting a gorgeous but overpriced bracelet. Ben _of course_ noticed and bought it for her even when she insisted _several_ times that he didn't. She couldn't say she was irritated when he gracefully clasped it around her skinny wrist though.

They walked along the pier hand in hand, occasional gusts of wind messing Rey's hair up with Ben standing on the side chuckling. Her response to this was to walk up to him, stand on her tip toes and ruffle his hair between her hands.

He only glared at her playfully when he said "You'll regret that one later." Rey couldn't help the amount of butterflies that spawned in her stomach at the lowness of his voice.

At one point when she was walking well in front of him she thought she heard the click of a camera come from behind her, not unlike when she heard it at the fashion show, and sure enough when she turned her head Ben stood ten feet away with the lens pointed at her.

"Bennn stop it," she walked up to him and covered the lens with her palm. "I'm not photogenic _at all_ , those pictures are gonna be trash."

Her man smirked. "Unlikely," he scrolled through the pictures he'd taken of her. "You're supposed to take pictures of sights you wanna remember, sights that are so beautiful you literally need to capture it in a picture so you never forget." His eyes were soft as he said those words. "That's all I'm doing, sweetheart."

She didn't want to cry but tears were already forming behind her eyes, because she didn't remember the last time anyone said something more beautiful than what Ben had just said to her.

Not breaking eye contact she walked straight up to him and threw herself into his broad frame, arms looping around his neck as she pressed her lips to his fiercely and inhaling deeply. He tasted _so fucking good_ that she barely had the strength to pull away. "You're amazing, you know that?" Her hands stroked his hair.

"Hm," he said. "Likewise."

Ben continued to snap pictures of her throughout the evening. Rey heard the distant clicks when they waited outside a deli to eat, when she leaned over the pier to look down at the water. In that case, he only got a couple pictures before feeling the need to go to her side and pull her back a little. 

When she frowned, his excuse was something of _If you fall over, I'm not jumping in after you._ Rey called bullshit immediately, saying that "You know you would." Ben sighed realizing she got him too easily. "Yeah, you're right I would. Only after a few seconds though. I'd let you suffer at least a little bit," he smirked at her. Rey slapped his brick-hard chest, "Yeah yeah whatever. Let's go." 

She heard the click again as she strutted away from him and towards the ferris wheel. 

The city was gorgeous from the top of the ferris wheel, it amazed her that she had never come here. She supposed she never had anyone to come _with_ , but she was glad she never had because being there with Ben truly made the experience a thousand times more enjoyable.

Of course he took more pictures of her there as well as on the walk back to near her apartment. When Rey leaned on his arm and yawned, he suggested they start to head back. Rey agreed immediately and Ben spoke again.

"Actually, do you wanna come to my place tonight? Just figured I could show you around and maybe.. you know.. start getting the place to smell like you?" Rey laughed and agreed once more. Ben hailed a cab since his residence was apparently a little further away from where they were currently.

Rey drifted a little in the cab, still leaning on Ben's shoulder with his arm draped around her and holding her close to his side. The excessive amount of walking they did had finally caught up to her. Ben wouldn't lie if he were asked if he was a little worn out too.

He shook her awake lightly when they arrived and Rey unwillingly detached herself from Ben to get out of the car and walk up to his complex. Her vision was blurry on the elevator ride up to his apartment due to her weariness and tiredness, but Ben was there to guide her. She also didn't see the state of the complex he lived in.

When they arrived to his apartment with Rey almost running into a few walls along the way, she finally wiped her eyes and took in her surroundings.

_Holy fuck._

Ben's apartment.. well it wasn't even really an apartment, it was more of a penthouse. The living room walls were practically windows with marble floors and high ceilings with a delicate chandelier hanging from it. 

That was all she saw before she felt herself being lifted off the floor. Ben cradled her close to his chest and nuzzled her head. "I'd let you walk but I don't need you getting a concussion from hitting another wall." Rey smiled small and distantly felt Ben's heavy steps through what was a palace compared to her apartment. 

After a few moments, she felt him lowering her body onto the softest mattress she'd ever laid on. Ben pulled her sandals off as well as her sweater so she was only dressed in leggings and a thin white tank top. A soft and heavy comforter was pulled over her and she immediately sunk herself further into the bed as if she could live there forever.

The night was still very young; it was probably only nine p.m, but Rey had never wished for sleep more in her life.

It wasn't long before the warmth of the bed was replaced by the heat of Ben's body as he climbed into the bed next to her. When they first touched, she could tell he got rid of his shirt. He pulled her to his chest so she could rest her head right above his heartbeat and he could wrap a strong arm around her waist, keeping her there.

Rey quickly fell asleep, for the second night in a row, in the arms of the man she never wanted to be without again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was interesting to write because we see the result of Ben and Rey's past abandonment and manipulation issues. She thought he left her in the morning and he believed she truly didn't wanna go out with him again. Pain train ammi right??
> 
> Also I've plotted out almost the entire rest of the story so hopefully I'll start updating quicker.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated and keep me motivated!


	10. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a bad day which leads to some physical events. ;))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut awakens.
> 
> thank you thats all.

Several weeks passed so it was now mid-June and Rey couldn't remember the last time she was this happy on a day to day basis. Before Ben she had good days and bad days like everyone else with a few extra poor ones mixed in there but recently her life was dominated with relief and pure joy in the fact that she found someone truly worthy to care for her.

They saw each other almost every day, hanging out at both her and Ben's residences although Rey slightly favored his place more due to well...

The overall _richness_ of the place.

Rey would lay in his arms almost every night and ask questions about him simply trying to know him better. By now, the two knew each other almost perfectly with Ben being able to order for her at most restaurants and knowing what kind of clothes she typically wore depending on the day.

It was the small things that created the big picture of their relationship and it grew stronger every day.

Despite having Ben there to care and feed her more often, she still had a need for her job unfortunately. If things (for some reason) went south with Ben, she needed _something_ to rely on. She couldn't just sit back and rely on Ben and his ginormous but gorgeous penthouse forever.

Rey had gained a little bit of weight in the past month or so, with Ben always complimenting how stunning she looked whenever she felt insecure. She wasn't overweight or even close to it, in fact she was likely closer to being _underweight_ than over. But this was new to her and wanted Ben to still want her.

Or to _someday_ want her.

Because they hadn't had sex yet. They did other things occasionally but never went all the way. Rey anticipated when the time would finally come and a tiny part of her worried that he didn't want to which was why they hadn't yet.

Because she was ready. _More than ready_ in fact.

So why was nothing happening?

It was the only fear Rey had in their relationship: that he didn't want her.

When they engaged in other sexual activities he seemed fairly dominant, so she would _think_ that he'd want to fuck her by now.

But maybe not.

Whenever they'd get close to the act or Rey would talk about how much she wanted him, his response would consist of something like ' _Not yet'_ or ' _Let's wait a little longer.'_

She had no idea what the holdup was but what she did know for sure was that she did _not_ favour it in any aspect.

While she wanted to confront him about it and simply ask ' _hey dude why haven't you rearranged my guts yet_ ' but at the same time everything was going so well that she was afraid to ruin it.

Rey supposed that if nothing happened _soon_ or if he continued making stupid excuses on why he just wouldn't impale her with his cock, _then_ she _might_ bring it up.

Who knew, only time would tell.

Work at RESISTANCE was mediocre as per usual. The actual _work_ she did, she loved, but she had always loved doing makeup. As her co-workers know, her hatred towards her job dealt with..

You guessed it.

The models.

She knew she complained about them a lot, probably too much to Poe, in fact she wasn't even sure why he stuck around but regardless, she had gotten more used to it. Especially now that she had Ben whom she knew would retort every snobby thing they'd say to her; that alone made everything better.

Her and Ben sometimes had days off together and when they did, every second of the twenty four hours was spent together. Rey never forgot about Poe though, she still updated him on everything going on and met him for lunch occasionally.

She felt like she knew Ben better than anyone else which said something considering they'd only known each other a couple months. But in those several weeks, she learned what was beneath the sea. On their very first date, she learned the basics of his family, where he came from, all the generic information one shares on a first time out together.

But _now_ she understood the "why's."

 _Why_ his relationship with his mother spiralled but was eventually fixed.

 _Why_ he even got involved with Snoke in the first place.

 _Why_ he loved being a photographer.

 _Why_ he never double-knotted his shoes even if he had to re-tie them three times through the day.

It was the little things that made her believe she knew who Ben Solo was. And in return, she wondered if he believed that he knew her.

The thought was terrifying yet at the same time, thrilling.

On this particular day, Rey had work in the afternoon while Ben had the day off. She didn't know what was going on exactly... she'd received an email that got only a skim from Rey, saying something along the lines of another photographer visiting to help promote RESISTANCE? Something like that..

She hadn't seen Ben in a few days due to their work schedules, but they made plans so that after Rey got off work, she'd go over to his place for the night.

Still tired after the five hours of sleep she got even though it was early afternoon, Rey walked to work, zoned out most of the time. If Ben could see that she was walking and not taking a cab or asking him or Poe for a ride, he'd be on her in a second. He despised how she didn't care for herself as highly as he wished and Rey admired how deeply he was concerned, but at the same time there was nothing she could do about it. Unless she could win the lottery right about.. _now,_ well, Rey simply couldn't afford the things Ben could. That was obvious right from the first time she stepped foot in his penthouse.

Right after Rey got to work and finished prepping her desk for models to come through and get their makeup done, she set off to find Poe, who was still the only person she could stand in her work area. Leia too, but she only had the honor of speaking to her a few times even though it was Ben's mother. In all honesty, Rey wasn't sure if Ben had even told his mother that they were seeing each other. The possibility hurt her heart a little bit.

After a couple of minutes of roaming around the busy warehouse, she spotted Poe in a angelic white blazer that could be seen from a mile away. Ironic, since it took her so long to find him. It was as if he sensed her presence because he turned his head right towards her and beamed a toothy smile at the sight of her approaching him.

They embraced and Poe rubbed her back, "Hey girl! I haven't seen ya in a minute.. how's it goin' with camera boy?"

Rey rolled her eyes at Poe's ridiculous (but somehow humorous) nickname for Ben. "Things with _Ben_ are going just fine, thank you." She winced when he breath slightly hitched at the end. Everything _was_ going fine with Ben.. amazing really.. _except_ for the sex part.

Unfortunately, Poe seemed to catch on to this; he raised an eyebrow regarding her, "You sure about that Rey?"

She swallowed.

" _Yes_ Poe, of course I'm sure."

"Okay because you don't sound very sure."

"I'm sure okay?!"

A moment of silence.

"....you're _sure_ , Rey?"

Rey sighed, "Poe I love you, but please, _for the love of God_.. know that I. Am. Sure."

He threw his hands up defensively, "Okay okay, I'm just looking out for my girl. Because well, you _have_ been my girl for much longer than him." He scowled jokingly. Rey laughed, "I know Poe, and I appreciate you and how you've been there for me recently. How's Finn?"

Poe's lips formed into a thin, straight line. "The new job sucks ass for me, but I'm getting by." Finn had recently taken his dream job a couple of hours outside of Chicago, which obviously stunk for Poe, but Rey was happy that they had decided to stay together. "You guys'll get through it.. you've been together for _what_ \- two years now?"

"Yep, two years this Saturday.. I'm actually going to surprise him."

"POEE THAT'S SO SWEET!" Rey jumped up and down.

"I know, I know, I'm excited-"

"Poe! I need you over here ASAP!" The piercing yell of Leia Organa echoed throughout the large room so no ear would miss it.

Poe winced and turned back to Rey. "Well, duty calls. I'll see ya later girl." He left just after he ruffled his hand through her hair, making her slap his hand away to refrain from messing it up too badly.

———

Work passed a little too slowly for Rey's liking. Her day hadn't gotten to the point of unbearable or awful yet, which was a positive thing. The most hate she'd gotten were a couple sneers from models who thought Rey took a little to long while trying to perfect the blending of the eye shadow on their lids.

What got her through was the thought that as soon as she was finished here, she could run into Ben's arms and spend as long as she wanted (well.. kind of, with the exception of work) with him.

She even found that she was smiling to herself several times throughout the day when she'd look at the mirror to check her model's looks. Rey only got a disgusted look from most of the women, but she was too excited to see Ben to care what they thought.

The point of _extremely_ unbearable and awful came when Rey was cleaning up her area and getting ready to head over to Ben's, when she accidentally stepped backwards into a model.

_Fuck._

_"Oh my god,_ will you watch where you're fucking stepping? Jesus, some of us are _paid_ to look good, unlike your worthless sized four self."

It struck a nerve with Rey. She knew she weighed a little more than she did a few months ago, but was still nowhere _near_ being overweight. She wasn't chubby or fat, she knew that; she was still a tiny, fragile thing. Right? It didn't matter what she thought... because what did Ben think?

"I-I'm sorry, I just didn't see you"

"Yeah, you're right, somehow. _You_ didn't see me. _You_ screwed up. So stop your bitching to me, and get your fat, disgusting ass out my sight."

Rey had never walked so fast in her life. If she could run by all means, she would. But she wore heels and those were not made for sprinting away from a co-worker who just made one feel like the most worthless being on the planet. It was also worse because how could she know that Ben felt no different about her slight change in appearance?

As she half-jogged back to her apartment, chest heaving with tears threatening to spill, a distant message replayed in her brain reminding her that she was supposed to go to Ben's after work. She ignored it, because at the moment the only thing that Rey was focused on was getting home before she began sobbing uncontrollably.

Miraculously, she did. _Barely._ The tears spilled when she reached her hallway, making her take an additional couple of seconds to unlock the door due to her blurry vision.

She slammed the door behind her and collapsed onto her bed, staining her white sheets with tears and dark mascara splotches.

The words of the woman were written in permanent marker in her brain, never fading from her thoughts.

_Disgusting._

_Worthless._

Rey truly didn't remember the last time she felt so hopeless and drained. She had a best friend and a man she was desperately falling for, and yet she had never felt so alone in her entire life.

Ben had to have noticed her slight figure change. Personally, Rey thought she looked _better_ ; she wasn't entirely skin and bone anymore. But perhaps she shouldn't be one to judge herself.

She couldn't stop the thought from coming to her mind...

What if he left her?

He obviously didn't want her enough to fuck her...

So perhaps the end was already beginning.

———

His watch read _6:14 PM._

There was no reason to freak out yet... or maybe there was. He didn't know.

Ben didn't want to be the type of guy to constantly prude or control his girlfriend's life, but Rey was supposed to be at his place approximately fourteen minutes ago and Rey was never late. And if she was, she always made sure to let him know. So the fact that he hadn't heard from her at all today did not settle his slight worries.

Ten more minutes passed by before a thought slammed into Ben's mind, making him start to really worry.

She probably walked.

She definitely fucking walked to work even though he told her countless times to ask Poe for a ride.

What if something happened to her on the way over to his house?

Or if the cab she got into had a sketchy driver?

What if she was _gone?_

That was it. He was allowed to be scared for her now. If something was wrong and he didn't act on it, he'd never forgive himself.

Ben retrieved his phone from the glass coffee table and texted her rapidly, several times.  
  
  


Today 6:27 PM  
 **BEN: hey darling**

**just making sure you're still good to come over**

**i cant wait to see you <3**   
  
  


And when she still didn't respond...  
  
  


Today 6:32 PM  
 **BEN: rey?**

**is everything okay??**

Today 6:44 PM  
 **BEN: please answer me sweetheart**

**did something happen??**

Today: 6:56 PM  
 **BEN: fuck this, i'm coming to you.**  
  
  


———  
  
  


All of the crying must've made Rey doze off slightly, because she woke not long after with a cloud of tiredness hovering over her. She couldn't have been out long because the sun was still up, rays of light shining through the blinds and spilling into her bedroom.

A wave of sadness crashed over Rey as she remembered why exactly she was laying in her bed which was now a pool of her tears. She reached for the box of tissues resting on the floor she had used earlier and wiped her eyes. Rey winced; her eyes were already hurting from crying so much.

When she turned her head back to the bed, she saw her phone lying in the heap of blankets, which triggered another remembrance.

Ben.

_Shit shit shit shit.._

If he didn't want her before then he definitely wouldn't now.

Unlocking her phone hastily, her message app showed that she had 8 unread texts from Ben, the most recent one being sent to her only five minutes ago.

Her heart beat a little faster when she read the last one.

**im coming to you.**

_He's coming, he'll be here, he'll take care of you..._

That was, if he wasn't coming over to end things between them.

With that, Rey couldn't tell if her fast breathing was resulting from relief or from utter terror that she was about to lose him forever.

But before she could allow her thoughts to consume her too much, there was a knock at the front door.

Rey was almost positive that her heart skipped a couple beats in that moment, since she had no idea what was about to go down.

That being said, it took her about a minute to pull herself from the bed and towards the front door, and when she got closer Ben started shouting along with pounding through the door.

"REY?"

"Rey, baby are you in there?"

"Please open the door if you're in there, I'm worried about you..."

Beginning to feel bad, Rey unlocked the door and swung it open before she could change her mind. Ben was knocking rapidly, so his fist faltered in mid-air. He froze, his dark pupils gazing into her teary ones.

"Hi," he breathed, seemingly relieved.

"Hey," Rey mumbled, gaze intent on the ground. With that, she saw Ben take a step forward. Finally, she looked up and met his eyes.

She saw the second he could tell she'd been crying because his expression shifted from one of confusion and slight worry to complete worry and concern.

" _Hey hey hey.."_ he put his pointer and middle finger under her chin, "What's going on, little one?"

Rey mumbled something about "nothing" and tried to face away from him but his hold on her jaw tightened, refraining her from doing so.

" _Rey,"_ he said lowly, pushing her to open up to him.

After a few seconds of meeting Ben's agonizing stare, her chin began to quiver in his hold and she let the tears flow down her cheeks. Her shoulders shook lightly with her quiet sobs and her legs swayed.

Not even seconds later, Ben wrapped his large arms around her small frame and pulled her to his chest, nuzzling her hair while she cried into his t-shirt which smelled of him so wonderfully. She fisted his shirt all while Ben murmured sweet nothings to her, trying to soothe her in any way possible.

When her breathing began to normalize and there were more intervals between heavy sobs, Rey pulled out of his grasp suddenly and put several feet between them.

"No.. _no._ I uh– I needed to talk to you... ask you something," Rey got out between stuttered breaths.

Ben looked utterly lost and confused. "Okay.." he spoke slowly.

Rey set her eyes on his shoes once more. "I don't... I don't know how to say this–"

"Rey, are we– are you.." Ben interrupted, " _breaking up with me?"_

Her head jerked up so fast she swore she could've snapped her neck. And when she did, she was met with his terrified features. It made her heart ache almost physically.

" _What?_ No no no _no,_ Ben I'm not ending things between us, trust me. That was never my intent." And hopefully it wasn't his either after the conversation they were about to have.

But Ben only let out a long sigh of what she hoped to be relief and it sated her only a little.

They stood in silence for a couple moments before Ben started back up. "So... what is it then?"

"I uh–..." Rey stuttered.

There was no easy way to express her insecurities, even to Ben whom she trusted more than anyone else in the world.

"Did something happen?"

Her breaths began to hitch again and Rey willed herself not to cry but wasn't completely sure she could hold herself to it. So instead of speaking, she squeezed her eyes shut almost painfully and nodded as a response.

Beyond her clamped shut eyes, Rey heard the footsteps as Ben approached her slowly and felt when he ran his hands up and down the sides of her arms, caressing her so gently.

"What is it?" He asked in a parallel tone to his actions.

"Do you hate me?" Rey said too quickly, her eyes still closed. She opened them a few seconds later when the warmth on her arms disappeared and Ben had stepped back from her.

When she faced Ben's gaze she was met with an unspeakable expression. He looked beyond confused and maybe a little... pained?

"What?" Was all he said.

Rey huffed and shook her head. "I mean– I mean do you hate _me?_ " Ben only raised an eyebrow slightly, clearly not following.

"Like.. _how I look?"_ She clarified.

Silence.

Silence so _quiet_ that the whir of the air conditioning sounded like thunder.

"Rey– _what?"_ This time he scoffed. "I don't- why would you ever think that-"

"Is that why you won't have sex with me?" Rey blurted before she could alter her mind. She crossed her arms over her chest closing in on herself, now extremely insecure.

When she was brave enough to look at him again, she immediately regretted it. He looked so lost and all she wanted was to jump into his arms and have him fuck her raw against the wall. But something told her that he wouldn't want that.

His words said otherwise.

"Rey how could you... how could you think that I don't want you? You _truly_ believe that?" His voice was low and slightly demanding, pleading for her to answer him.

"I mean.. _yeah._ It seems like you never want to and..." she trails off when Ben approaches her and pulls her into his embrace, lifting her chin with a single finger to meet his gaze.

"Darling I just wanted what was best for you. I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable so I waited." When she didn't respond, he hugged her tight. "I'm so sorry Rey. I'm so sorry for making you think I didn't want you. Please know that I do, sweet girl. I've wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you. You know that now, right?"

With tears forming in her eyes due to his affection, Rey nodded slowly, earning a relieved look from Ben.

_He wants you._

_It's fine._

_He wants you._

"Good," he kissed her forehead. His lips still pressed against her skin, he murmured, "I don't suppose you want me _now,_ do you sweet thing?" He teased.

Rey reaches up to circle her arms around his neck, absently playing with the locks within her reach. She stood on her tip-toes and ran her lips lightly across the smooth skin of his cheek before whispering.

"Take me to bed, Ben."

Not a second passed after the words left her lips before Ben hoisted her up into his arms, her legs wrapping around his waist, as he made his way to her room.

The next several moments passed by in a blur for Rey. She barely recalled being tossed onto the not-so-great mattress before Ben's large and calloused hands tore every inch of clothing from her body. Whether or not he actually _tore_ it off, she didn't know and nor did she care in those moments.

Her visioned focused again only when she looked up to see Ben's _fully nude_ form standing in front of her, off the bed still.

Rey's eyes raked over his body, beginning at his dark locks and trailing down to his fully erect member. Rey pressed her thighs together seeking relief of some of the tension that was slowly taking over her body... the _need_ for him that was taking over.

After what felt like forever, Ben climbed on top of her and rested on his forearms so he wouldn't completely crush her, his arms framing her head. He leaned down and demolished the couple of inches which separated them and passionately kissed Rey's lips. The kiss deepened by the second, with Rey growing more feral as it did.

"I want you Rey. I want you so _damn much_ it hurts.." he trailed off while at the same time trailing kisses along her jawline and down her neck, sucking the pulse point along the way. Rey let out a tiny moan which caught Ben's attention because he immediately pressed a single finger to her entrance.

"Fuck, you're so wet darling," he kissed her again, this time more sloppily. He continued to circle her entrance lazily before moving up to rub her clit, making Rey moan louder and cry out for him.

" _Please Ben... please..."_

 _"_ Please what, baby? Use your words."

He rubbed harder, forcing the words to diminish into thin air.

"S-shit," she stuttered, absently spreading her legs wider for him. "Please fuck me Ben. _Please_ , I need your cock... n- _now."_

 _"_ I will baby, I will. But first I want you to come. Do you think you can do that for me? Hm?" He nuzzled her hair as he prompted her.

"Y-yes."

"Mm.. good girl."

With the task set in his mind, his thumb took over her clit while he pushed two fingers inside her, thrusting shallowly. If this felt like heaven to her, then what would his cock feel like?

Rey bucked her hips against him wanting more but knowing she'd have to come first.

"F-fuck Ben. Make me come, _please make me come oh my god-"_

He only reassured her. "I will, I've got you baby, don't worry." Ben could tell right when she was at her climax as her walls pulled around his fingers. "That's it... come now Rey. Come for me."

Rey let out a scream at his command as she cane all over his fingers, legs trembling slightly. And she knew that it was only the beginning. She was confirmed to be right when his cock prodded at her entrance only seconds after she'd climaxed and she craved nothing more than having his cock buried inside her.

As if he read her mind, he pushed into her all at once, drawing a gasp from both of them. Rey groaned at the overall sensation of _fullness_ that took over her body.

Ben's face was buried in her neck, his hot and heavy breath tickling her skin. Rey spread her legs wider and raised them off the now sticky sheets.

Rey turned her head so her lips rested right by his ear. "Move, Ben," she whispered.

Out of nowhere, he sat up, eyes wide.

"Wait- before I... uh. Are you- are you on something?"

Rey was utterly confused at his vagueness but after a few moments caught onto what he was trying to ask.

"I'm on birth control Ben, it's fine. Now fuck me."

He sighed of relief and obliged right away, setting a slow pace at first but growing faster every few thrusts.

It was better than Rey ever could've imagined. Being this close to Ben, this intimate... it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. So when he began to _pound_ into her, they spilled over.

Ben was quick to kiss the tears away all the while whispering things like _so good, you take me so well, that's it baby... just like that..._

The only things Rey could hear over their moans was the slapping of skin and the occasional pepper of his kisses on her skin. Wanting to be closer, she wrapped her legs around his waist, encouraging him to go deeper. But Ben refuted this and instead took one of her legs and pushed it up towards her torso allowing him to indeed go deeper.

" _Oh fuck Ben you're so deep in me.."_ Rey gasped. Ben only groaned in response.

Somehow he was able to fuck her even faster, seemingly more aroused. As he did so, Ben moved down her body slightly to take a rosy nipple in his mouth. Rey's jaw dropped in a silent scream as her back arched terribly. One of his muscled arms curved around to her back, caressing the arch.

He sucked her nipple harder and ran his teeth over the skin, drawing a lengthy moan from Rey. At the same time, a gush of wetness coated his cock bringing him dangerously close to the edge while knowing she was about to come too. He realized her nipple with a _pop._

"Goddamn, you feel so good wrapped around me," he said lowly. "I'm close Rey..."

"M-me too... _fuck Ben I love your cock..."_

 _"Mmm_ I knew you would my dirty girl. Are you gonna come again Rey? Are you gonna come with me?"

" _Yesss_..." She looked down to where their bodies connected and that was it for her. A strong feeling of euphoria and adrenaline took over her senses so she saw spots and felt nothing but Ben's cock sliding rapidly along her inner walls.

Her cunt clamped down and squeezed his cock so much that the feeling of her coming was immediately enough to trigger his load to spill inside her.

His thrusts were scattered now and beginning to slow; his face was still buried in the crook of her neck. When he finally came to a halt, nothing but the sounds of heavy breathing filled the room.

Ben now laid on top of Rey, kind of crushing her but she found that she didn't mind in the slightest. Their skin sticking together was one of the best things she'd ever felt.

After a few minutes of cooling down, Rey let her hands fall into Ben's hair that still tickled her neck and ran her fingers through his sweaty and damp locks. He sighed in content, nuzzling deeper into her neck as if he could live there.

"No, by the way," Ben spoke out of nowhere. Her fingers stopped mid _-_ run through his hair. "What?"

This got Ben to pull himself away from her skin and to actually look at her for the first time since their intimate act. His eyes were softer than she'd ever seen them, a feeling she couldn't describe filled them.

"I don't hate the way you look. I never could. You're perfect the way you are," he granted her with a chaste kiss to her lips. "And I'll tell you that as much as you need to hear it until you believe me."

Rey grinned, remembering the conversation that led them to be here, with him still inside of her. If Ben still liked how she looked, then that was all she needed. It didn't matter if some skanky model thought otherwise. She wasn't trying to impress them. Ben liked her and she was happy.

With that, he leaned forward and kissed him deeply, taking his bottom lip into hers to scrape her teeth across it lightly. When she released it with a flick, Ben looked at her with arousal in his eyes.

"Don't start sweetheart or we'll be going again.." he growled. Rey chuckled before turning her more serious face on.

"I actually do have a question I've been meaning to ask you.. but it kept slipping my mind." Ben's brows furrowed. "Okay.." was all he offered. "It's nothing serious, I'm just curious but... why did Bazine call you _Kylo_?"

Ben sighed, running his fingers through his own hair and seemed deep in thought for a minute trying to find the right words.

"When I worked for my old boss, Snoke, I wanted to start fresh. I wanted to put RESISTANCE, my mother and everything behind me so I went by a different name. I went by Kylo then, but after realizing my mistake and coming back, I chose to take the name Ben Solo again." He explained.

Rey nodded and smiled small, appreciative that she shared something small with her. She'd gotten to know him quite well over the past month... better than anyone else.

How she found this man, she could never explain. She'd almost completely given up on finding someone to settle down with, but she didn't have to _settle_ for Ben. He was already better then good enough for her.

"I do have something to tell you." Ben's words broke her out of her trance.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

Ben smiled devilishly. "I'm taking you on vacation."

Rey's eyes widened at his abrupt statement. He didn't say anything more, just that, so she questioned him.

"Vacation? What? Why?"

"Because I'm allowed. And I want to do something nice for my girlfriend," Ben said as he kissed her cheek.

"You just _did_ something nice for me. _To me,_ actually." Rey chuckled. Ben rolled his eyes. "Yes I did but you deserve a nice, relaxing getaway."

It didn't sound awful in the slightest. Rey didn't remember the last time she went on vacation. Now that she thought about it... _had she ever, actually?_

"That doesn't sound bad actually," she smiled stupidly and pressed her lips to his. "Thank you," she added.

"Don't mention it," he said. With that, he pulled out of her, making both of them groan. Rey already missed his warmth along with the feeling of him being buried deep inside her.

Ben stood and walked towards the door before turning his head to look back at her. A smile formed across his face. "I'm gonna start a shower for us, I'll meet you in there. Pack your bags, sweetheart. We leave the day after tomorrow."

With that, he winked at her and left the room and Rey distantly heard the shower being turned on, water smacking the tile floors. The sight of him smiling at her from the door embedded itself in her mind and she decided that was her favorite sight of him in all the time she'd known him.

Rey laid in bed staring at the beige ceiling like weeks ago when things between them weren't good. _How things had changed._ She smiled at nothing, just memories of the two of them before forcing herself to part from the now cool but still wet sheets and make her way to the bathroom. As soon as she stood, she winced. Somehow, she was already sore from being impaled by Ben's dick so good. Not that she was complaining.

Gaining her balance, she padded across the floor towards the foggy bathroom where Ben was awaiting her presence, leaving the room where they just became one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for all of y'all who were smut-starved i hope you enjoyed this. more to come....
> 
> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always greatly appreciated and keep me motivated!


	11. Silently Disturbed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben go on a little getaway vacation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, I'm so sorry for the delay, crazy times right now. Updates should start to get more frequent from now on...
> 
> My writer's block is evident here.

A car was no place for good sleep, Rey learned very quickly. After their shower the night before, they had gone for a round two... and then a round three which led to them having to shower again which led to no sleep for Rey. It was worse for Ben she supposed since he actually had to drive. She insisted that they take turns behind the wheel so the other could get some rest but Ben wouldn't comply.

_Stupid men._

Rey also had no idea where they were headed still; if she didn't like him so much she would suspect he was leading her out into the middle of nowhere to rip her apart and dispose of her body in the woods. Out of all the shit he packed, there could easily be some materials for a kidnapping.

"What are you laughing about over there?"

Her face stilled. She didn't even realize she'd been chuckling lightly due to her absurd (and somehow humorous) thoughts. "Nothing," she mumbled with a hidden smile on her face since she was facing the opposite way of him and looking out the window.

"Sweetheart..." Ben growled playfully.

Rey sighed, "I was just thinking about how I could be on my way to my own death right now."

"Is that so?"

"Mhm."

"And why is that?"

She finally picked her head up from resting against the seat to face him, seeing he was already staring at her with one hand on the top of the wheel.

 _Damn he looks sexy right now._ She wished she could take a picture.

An idea sprouted in her mind at that. Smiling mischievously, Rey reached behind their seats to dig around for his camera. "I don't know where you're taking me," she finished her earlier statement as she pulled his camera from its bag, "and therefore, you could be taking me into the woods to kill me." She held up the camera to her eye and pointed the lens at Ben who raised an eyebrow, making the image even better.

"I could very well be in the car with a murderer," she said as she snapped the picture, smiling at the outcome when she pulled it back from her face. Ben rolled his eyes at her ridiculous words and the fact that she took a picture of him.

Rey only continued to smile as she placed the camera back in its safe place before facing the front of the car again. The road they traveled on was wedged between lines of trees, blurs of green passing in Rey's peripherals. The view was peaceful and Ben's presence only made it better.

Allowing her eyes to close, Rey began to finally drift off but was interrupted when Ben's voice filled the air, "Hey do you mind reaching in the back and passing me the rope and duct-tape?"

At that, Rey cracked an eye open to glare at him and saw he was already grinning at her. "Sure," Rey sighed, closing her eyes again. "But I'm killing you first." She heard Ben chuckle from behind her closed eyes and then a low "We'll see," which made Rey roll her eyes under her lids.

_Stupid men._

———

When Rey woke, she could already tell that the car was stopped because of her peaceful state. The next thing she noticed was someone gently nudging her and tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear. She nuzzled into the hand and whimpered, not wanting to wake up yet.

"Hey," she heard Ben whisper in her ear. "Wake up sunshine, we're here."

Rey peeled her eyes open and squinted, her vision not being adjusted to the light yet. She blinked a couple times and looked to her side to see Ben gazing at her, seemingly mesmerized.

He must've not noticed the way he was looking at her because when she smiled he reverted back to his normal self, clearing his throat.

Rey turned to face the front of the car again to see exactly where Ben had taken her. The car was parked on a gravel road and in front of her was a lake that was so vast it faded into the horizon. When she looked out the passenger window, a small but cozy cabin was noticeable. It was your average getaway but this was better because she was with Ben.

She was speechless; no one had ever brought her somewhere so beautiful. To her terrorization, tears were born behind her eyes and threatened to spill. Rey turned back to Ben with glossy eyes and a stuttering voice.

"Ben I-I... you did this?"

The look of admiration that once was on his features morphed into one of worry, "I did," he answered. "Do you not like it?" He regarded her wet eyes.

At those words, Rey sat up faster than the speed of light and touched his arm. "No, no! I just... no one has ever done such a thing for me before."

Ben sighed with relief. "Let's have a look around then, hm?" He said as he pulled the keys from the ignition. Rey nodded and followed him out of the car.

The sight was gorgeous, there was a bank of rocks and sand right by the water and a swinging bench nearby. There were several other cabins nearby but no cars. It seemed as if no one else was here.

Rey walked down to the lake and took off her shoes so her feet were in the lukewarm water. As she looked into the horizon, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her shoulders and lips pressed to the side of her head.

Ben rested his chin on her shoulder as her hands reached up to hold his arms which were wrapped around her.

"Are we the only ones here?" Rey asked.

She heard Ben inhale and felt Ben kiss her neck slowly, surely leaving a mark and drawing a low moan from Rey. "Yes," he replied. "I rented out the whole place for the time that we're here. So we won't be disturbed. _Or_ disturb anyone with the amount of noise we're gonna make," he chuckled.

Rey gasped and fled from his arms. With a defying glare, she turned and kicked her foot towards Ben, splashing water up and down his body and drenching his clothes.

For a second Rey thought she had actually pissed him off, but her thoughts quickly changed when a sinister smile creeped onto his face.

"You're gonna regret that," he said lowly with the same smile.

Rey's eyes widened and before she could say anything, Ben had charged towards her and threw her over his shoulder, running into the low waves.

"BEN!" She pounded his back trying to get him to let her down but he didn't comply. Instead she felt herself being thrown into the water and off of Ben's shoulder.

Her body slammed into the surface of the lake and she immediately welcomed the warm feeling that surrounded her. The water felt so relaxing. It washed away all her worries at the time and she let herself float under the water.

Rey's mind completely cleared and the only things she heard were the soft waves of the lake and perhaps someone saying her name?

Whatever, she didn't think anything of it. It was probably her mind. Somehow she was holding her breath way longer than she thought was possible. Maybe due to the fact that she wasn't thinking about it every two seconds and contemplating when she needed to come up for air.

It felt like she'd been down there forever. She couldn't remember what was happening above the surface, what her name was, who she was with. Everything was just so... calm.

It was so relaxing that she forgot Ben was standing above her, waiting for her to come up. As if on cue, a strong hand grabbed her upper arm from above the water and yanked her up.

She began gulping down oxygen and wiped away the water from her eyes with her free hand, the other one still held by Ben.

"Rey what the hell!" She heard Ben yell at her.

Looking up she saw him staring deadly at her, but his eyes were only full of fear. She felt the guilt deep through her skin as she stood.

"Sorry, the water just felt nice..."

" _Nice?"_ Ben raised both brows. "Rey I thought you.. hit your head or— or _something."_ Her lip began to tremble at his fearful affection. She'd never seen him quite like this. "Just don't scare me like that again, okay?" He pleaded.

She only nodded in response and gave an awkward toothless smile.

"Kay." Ben said, taking her hand. "Let's head back and get cleaned up."

The water felt amazing, but being with Ben was ten times the feeling. And also, his hand in hers was much warmer.

———

Later that day after going for a short walk, the two grilled out for lunch and ate on the swinging bench that had a view of the lake. It was a nice chance to take a breath and relax after everything they'd done so far. 

Everything they'd seen so far had been beautiful. At one point during a hike, the two had climbed a tower which had an overlook on the mountains and valleys. It was a sight unlike anything Rey had ever seen. Ben being his protective self had to pull Rey back when he thought she was too close to falling over the ledge. Rey only smiled when he tugged her away from it and welcomed his hand in hers. 

Ben held her hand the entire way back and even when their hands grew sweaty or one of them needed to readjust, they did not part. Rey thanked him yet again for doing this for her, there wasn't even a certain reason why he did it. Did he just.. _feel_ like it? He was hands down the best man she had ever met and she also had a feeling that no one could ever top him. They couldn't if they tried their absolute hardest. 

"You know what, I think I really needed this vacation actually," Rey said as they currently sat side-by-side on the bench facing the water. They were just finishing their food when Rey struck a conversation. 

"Mhm? And why's that?" Ben replied.

Rey huffed, "I think I just needed a break from everything back home. I don't recall the last time I've been far outside the city for something other than my job. Speaking of which, I _desperately_ need a break from that too. I think a couple years will do before I go back there." She smirked. But when Ben didn't respond she turned to see his brows furrowed, confusion on his face.

"What's wrong with your job?"

At that, Rey let out a loud laugh. His question was so humorless that it was funny. She doubled over on the bench laughing her insides out while Ben sat back completely unaware of what was happening. She complained about her job so much that she didn't know Ben was oblivious to her awful daily experiences there.

Finally Rey contained herself and caught her breath, "Are- are you being _for real_?" She chuckled to herself again.

"Yeah," Ben said, but it sounded more like a question rather than a statement.

"Ben," she tried to steady her still wavy voice, "I literally talk so much about how I hate my job. Probably _too much_ actually. You've never heard about it?"

He only nodded his head as if to say 'no.' It was clear he wanted to know more, so she continued. 

"Everyone there is just so... so _high-maintenance_. And I know it's a rich magazine, fashion company or whatever but you would think there would be _some humanity_ within the walls. But no, literally the only people with souls in that place are Poe and probably Leia, although I haven't spoken to her much, really at all."

Ben looked slightly hurt at that and he scoffed but in a sarcastic manner. Realizing what she had left out she quickly assured him, " _And_ you too. But that was already a given," she smiled. A grin immediately placed itself on Ben's face at her words and Rey reached up to stroke his dimple with one hand before leaning up to kiss him quickly. 

Leaning back against the bench, Rey sighed and they sat in silence for a few moments before Ben brought up her past points. "You really hate it at RESISTANCE?" He asked.

"Some days it's bearable," she mumbled staring into the horizon. "Depends what's happening. If I ever have to work with models, which is a significant amount of the time, then it'll probably be a bad day. They're all just so fucking nasty and are never satisfied with anything I do, no matter how hard I work. They think they're _all that_ and they- they make _comments about me_ and I just-" Rey broke off to hold back a sob to which Ben responded by wrapping his arms around her and tucking her head under his chin.

"Hey shh, it's okay..." he cooed. "I know it's hard but try not to let them get to you. It doesn't matter what they think because they don't know you. The people in your life who do know you think you're absolutely amazing and worth spending every second with." 

Rey looked up at him with bleary eyes, "You think that?" She asked.

Ben smiled. "I do," was all he said.

It was at that moment Rey decided that there was no other man who existed that was more perfect than the one sitting beside her. They had only known each other a few months and already she felt a connection with him so strong it was almost overwhelming. 

It was almost as if the universe had put Rey through all of those terrible relationships so when she was guided to Ben, it made everything even better. It was as if.. he was the one. The one she dreamed about as a kid. When she would fall asleep at night praying one day to meet her soulmate. 

When she first met Ben she tried to deny it; she truly believed this would end up as another joke relationship that would end within a couple of weeks. He would ghost her, never speak to her again and they would both go on with their lives. But the universe had proved her wrong. Because for the first time in her life, Rey believed that this man may truly be it for her.

After a few minutes of simply resting in his arms, Rey pulled back. "Ugh!" She exclaimed. "I don't know why I'm so fucking emotional-" 

Rey's words were cut off by a buzzing sound which turned out to be Ben's phone as he pulled it out of his pocket. Watching him check it, his content features dimmed slightly so he almost looked... afraid? It was probably nothing anyway.

Ben let out a heavy breath as he shoved his phone back into his pocket. "I think we both need a distraction," he said. 

Abruptly, Ben stood and yanked Rey up with him causing her to yelp. 

"Close your eyes," he said with a mischievous smile. Rey reciprocated the look and let her eyelids flutter shut. 

She didn't feel anything for a few moments but then out of no where a pair of lips was placed on her neck. Rey gasped and let out a low groan when he began sucking marks into her skin. He sucked on her pulse point and made a trail of kisses up to her jaw which he cupped with his large hands.

He stopped kissing her way too soon for her liking but not long after his hands returned, this time on her waist. His fingers traced a horizontal line just under the hem of her t-shirt, making her shiver in need. Then slowly, he lifted her shirt and pulled it over her head. 

" _Ben_ ," she gasped.

"Hm?"

"People will- they'll see.." She broke off when he nipped her ear.

"Mm.. no they won't sweetheart. Remember when I said I booked the whole place?"

 _Oh yeah,_ she remembered.

"I did it.." he pressed a kiss to her temple, " _specifically_ for this purpose."

His words and intended actions made her shiver in anticipation of what was about to happen. She heard a ruffling noise and then the sound of her jean-short zipper being unzipped. They were pulled down to her feet before she felt a tap on one of her ankles. Rey lifted one foot and then the other to blindly step out of her shorts, leaving her only in undergarments. 

She swore she heard Ben groan at the sight of her almost naked body. The next minute was full of silence save for a new ruffling sounds which Rey guessed to be Ben undressing himself. At least that's what she _hoped_ it was.

So when Ben reached around her to unclip her bra, Rey jolted at the sudden touch. He seemed to unclip it with ease and Rey felt very exposed when the brought the item of attire down her arms and off her completely. A moment later she felt Ben kiss at her sternum and then trail kisses down the valley of her breasts, down her stomach to just under her belly button and stopped at the only remaining fabric on her body.

He pulled down her panties in one swift motion, leaving her completely exposed to him and practically the whole world. Thankfully, no one was around to see the unholy acts they were about to commit. 

When she was fully nude, the world was quiet. Everything around her was silent and yet her mind was racing, overflowing with desires and wonders.

A single finger touched under her chin.

"Open your eyes, sweetheart."

Rey complied immediately and when she did open her eyes, she only saw Ben's naked form for a second before he swooped her into his arms. He made his way through the rocks and sand to the water while carrying her bridal style. 

They both laughed the whole journey to the lake, their cries and the waves the only sounds heard. The water was comfortable; the feeling of being in Ben's arms made it better than any bath she'd every taken. Not to mention the scenery was gorgeous. 

When they were in an area where it was deeper but could still both stand, Rey readjusted in his arms so her legs wrapped around his waist and they faced each other. No more than a few seconds later, their lips met and kissed passionately. Rey fisted the hair on the back of his head while he gripped her hips, trying to tug her closer. Their tongues danced together as if they couldn't get enough of the other's taste. Ben's hand moved up to cup a breast and squeeze it lightly. 

When his hard length prodded at her entrance, she threw her head back and moaned lightly. He pushed in to the hilt right afterwards, stealing a gasp from both of them. They bobbed easily in the water with Rey not weighing down Ben at all. 

Ben held her hips and stroked her insides with deep, long thrusts. The sensation was overwhelming and Rey hid her face in the side of Ben's neck, his skin vibrating her with her moans. 

"Oh _Ben_ ," she gasped. "That feels- feels so good.." Her whimpering didn't stop but only increased when he removed one hand from her hip to dive under the surface of the water to work her clit. He rubbed in circles, pressing harder every few seconds.

At that Rey let out what was close to a scream. It really was a blessing that Ben had booked the entire site. Fucking in this.. location was completely foreign and new to Rey. But that didn't mean she didn't like it. At all.

As much as Ben wanted to never pull out of her, his climax was near and he could guess from the way Rey's hole was clenching him that she was close too.

"Fuck Rey, _fuck you're so fucking perfec_ t. So perfect for me. So perfect for my cock."

His extremely hot words were the push Rey needed to finish, she realized. Her pussy clenched around his cock, making Ben dangerously close to the edge. "That's it, Rey... that's so good baby, cum for me. Cum for me now."

She milked his cock as he spoke directly into her ear. The feeling of Rey's warm cum all over his dick forced him to shoot his load deep inside her. Without even realizing it, Rey bit down on Ben's neck _hard_ , making him gasp and cum even more.

When Rey pulled away from her hiding spot in his neck and saw the mark she'd made, she only smiled playfully and leaned in once again to kiss and lick at it gently. His skin was salty and she tasted a hint of copper. She must've bitten harder than she thought she did. Ben groaned from deep in his chest and nuzzled at her head when she abandoned the mark.

She eventually took to simply leaning against his chest, her face sideways just under his chin so she could hear his steady heartbeat. Ben placed a kiss on her head as the two let the peacefulness of the scene overcome them. After what seemed like forever, Rey broke the silence:

"We should have quickies in lakes more often."

———

After their long yet relaxing day, the couple wanted nothing more than to just unwind and fall asleep holding the other. The evening brought cooler air making Rey and Ben nuzzle deep into the covers of the bed, which was large and beyond comfortable. The covers brought Rey warmth, but Ben brought it more.

He sat up in bed, resting against the headboard reading a book while Rey rested on his chest and stared at the tiny black ink idly. She wasn't paying attention to the book at all, but was too tired to take up any other activity at the moment. All she wished for was to be in Ben's arms and she was. 

Rey looked up at Ben who seemed focused intently on the words he was reading. He looked so cute; his brows were furrowed and his reading glasses were pushed up high on his abnormally large nose. His eyes moved from side to side at a rapid pace, dancing slowly with caution over each word, completely invested in whatever they were saying. 

But all at once, the moment was broken when his phone buzzed twice in a row. 

Ben sighed heavily, making Rey move up and down with his chest before he reached to the side table and grabbed his phone. While Ben was reading, his expression was sharp. He was one hundred percent focused on the reading, making his face read as super serious and intimidating. What was different now was, as soon as Ben read whatever was sent to him, those looks became more real. 

He looked beyond flustered, his jaw clenching and unclenching and abdomen tightening... tensing. What did he see that made him so.. infuriated? It was likely it had something to do with work so it wasn't really any of her concern but she still had the heart to ask.

She reached up and cupped his warm cheek with one hand, "Ben?" He responded immediately by shoving his phone to the side and meeting her eyes, the fearful look already diminishing in his features. "Are you- is everything okay?" She asked hesitantly.

It was obvious to her that something was off with him. He was attempting to hide it, but Rey was good at reading people. Dating so many guys and failing had provided her with the signs of _how to know when a guy is about to completely ditch you._ Not that she thought Ben was going to do that, but the point was, something was clearly wrong and even if he lied to her in a moment, she wouldn't believe it for a second. It would be wrong of her to assume though, which was why she beat around the bush.

Ben did not hesitate with his answer. It was almost _too_ quick. "Yes," he responded with seemingly ease and a blank face. "Why wouldn't it be?"

Rey let herself fall back onto his torso so she wasn't facing him anymore, "I don't know, you've just been.. looking at your phone weird all day I guess.." she mumbled not wanting to upset him in any way.

She felt Ben tense again under her but the stiffness went away after a few seconds. The room was silent which scared Rey for a moment but then his arms tightened around her signifying that he was _not_ in fact upset with her.

"It's nothing darling, just some things at work I have to get sorted out. Nothing to worry about." 

Her logic wouldn't let herself believe him. She still thought something was more offsetting than _something at work_ but for the time being she decided to let it go. In time, if he trusted her enough then perhaps he would confide in her.

Not long after, they agreed to turn off the lights and rest up before another day in paradise. Rey snuggled into his side while Ben wrapped an arm around her, keeping her close. Everything was good, everything was perfect. Her life had never felt _perfect_ before but she supposed that now was the closest it had ever come to it.

With a happy sigh and feeling completely content, Rey fell asleep with a smile on her face.

Ben didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated and keep me motivated!


	12. Learning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couple spends another day in paradise... but is Ben actually calm on the inside?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, welcome back! If you didn't know, I just released a new story called "You Mighty, Submissive Soul"! Make sure to check that one out. <33
> 
> Oh and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

He was convinced he had tried everything. Ben had tried every single method he could think of to try and help him fall asleep, but not a single one worked. 

Years ago when he had trouble managing his temper, he'd look up all kinds of ways to slow his breathing or come down from an anger high. The stupid things that came up on Google usually never did a thing for him and right now it felt like he was right back there... like he was Kylo. 

He so badly wanted to forget everything and just fall asleep. Go to bed without a care in the world for what's been bothering him but it wasn't granted to him.

Thinking and focusing on the girl sleeping in his arms didn't work. 

Counting his breaths didn't work.

Inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth didn't work.

Thinking of _literally any other fucking thing_ than the texts he received didn't work.

Everything had been going so well with Rey that he hadn't taken the time to consider what his foes could be up to. 

The last time Ben heard from Bazine was the infamous night where she ruined him and Rey's first date over a month ago. He had mostly forgotten about her with everything happening in his relationship and he wasn't complaining at all. Nothing could ever convince him to lay eyes on her severely tanned skin or hear her high-pitched ring of a voice again.

Bazine didn't scare him, she never did. But the messages Ben had been getting for the past 24 hours from her did. 

He tried to drown them out. To focus on the girl of his dreams he was vacationing with and let all of his worries wash away. Somehow though it wasn't that simple. Every time he'd forget, another one would roll through. It was the occasional threat; her threatening to come back and force him to return to L.A or taking down RESISTANCE. 

The one that she sent just before bed a few hours ago though, was the worst and frankly terrified and enraged Ben.

Threatening to send Snoke.

The reminder sent a chill through his body and he physically shook and immediately winced in hope that it wouldn't wake Rey who was currently snuggled into his side. Ben so badly wanted to confide in Rey and have her tell him that it was nothing to worry about and everything would be okay. She deserved to know after being there for him for so long, but he didn't want this to concern her or ruin her vacation which (now he knew) was her precious time away from her workplace.

She had so much happening in her own life that it wouldn't be fair to push all of his issues onto her. And perhaps Bazine was bluffing; she was known for it and quite good at it as well. She could fool many people and Ben wouldn't fall victim to one of her tricks. 

Rey stirred next to him to which Ben responded by tightening his arms around her and pressing a wet kiss to her forehead. He'd try his absolute best not to let his worries show or get in the way of their time away from everything together. If not for himself then he'd do it for her. 

It wasn't a surprise though, for her he'd do just about anything.

———

The deafening sound of her alarm woke Rey slowly but surely. She peeled her eyes open and looked up to see Ben already awake. He wasn't looking at her, but staring into nothing on the wall opposite their bed.

Something was off about him and she knew it. There were random times throughout the past day where she'd look at him and see his face in a state of blankness, eyes completely dull and when she'd call his name he'd light up again and try to forget about whatever was bothering him.

Rey reached up to cup his cheek to which he responded by looking at her, eyes morphing into an emotion of admiration. "Hey," she breathed. He offered her a small and tired smile. It was then she noticed the circles under his eyes indicating his sleepless night. "Did you get any rest last night?" Rey asked, concern lacing her voice. "No not really," he mumbled, breaking their eye contact.

Rey's thumb trailed over his cheekbone and her eyes narrowed in worry. She'd never seen him so consistently down before and it made her heart hurt physically.

"Ben," she pleaded, "What's going on?" 

He met her eyes once again and smiled, but Rey could bet that it was fake.

"Nothing's wrong sweetheart. Why do you ask?"

Rey narrowed her eyes again, not in concern but as if to call complete and utter _bullshit._ This all scared her; the fact that after spending only one day together away from Chicago, Ben had distanced himself subtlety from her. Was this his way of letting her down easy? Bringing her on this getaway only to get rid of her after? He wouldn't...

"You've been acting.. weird lately I guess. Like in the past day or so. Are you sure nothing's bothering you?"

"I'm positive, Rey," he urged her and turned his face to kiss her fingertips.

Still not entirely convinced at all, Rey didn't let up and stated the one question that horrified her the absolute most:

"Is it me...?" She questioned in a quiet, timid voice.

Ben's eyes widened at that and he sat up faster than she could blink. "No, no darling it's not you," he promised. "It could never be you," he said and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. 

She couldn't say she believed him but it would have to do for now so she mumbled an _okay_ and got up to prepare for the day. If they returned from vacation and Ben left or distanced himself from her even more, then she would know if he was telling the truth or not.

The thought split her heart in two. She couldn't stomach it. Ben was by far one of the most amazing people she'd ever met and gotten to be with and if their end was truly nearing then...

Rey could never believe in love again at the very least. 

This right here... laying in bed with Ben could be the last time it ever happened. This could be the last time being in his arms because as their weekend getaway was coming to a conclusion, Rey couldn't deny the thought that they could be too. 

The two drove into town for breakfast with Rey desperately trying to rid her mind of the thought that he might leave her. She kept looking at Ben in the driver's seat expecting to find his features distressed but was surprised to find absolutely none. Whenever she snuck a glance at him, he would simply turn his head towards her and flash a small but charismatic smile that matched his eyes. 

Whatever was bothering him had either resolved itself in his mind or there was never anything to be worried about in the first place and he was being one hundred percent honest with her.

Ben seemed pretty talkative at the small diner which Rey took as a good sign. He smiled, laughed and was just _happy_ to be there with her. The experience made Rey's heart flutter in her chest, a feeling not unlike the one she had when she first met him. 

He paid the check and Rey left the diner feeling good about her relationship.

Perhaps all Ben needed was a good night's sleep since it seemed like the demons had let up today. Not once had she caught Ben with a frown on his face or intentionally not spoken to her when she talked to him. The one exception was right when she woke up but he could've just been tired because right now he seemed more than okay. He actually seemed excited for whatever their day would bring.

"Hey you just passed the turn," Rey frowned and looked back at the road Ben should have taken. Their residence was the opposite way of where Ben was seemingly headed. Turning back around, Ben had a small smirk on his face. "What are you-- where are we going?" Ben only looked at her and his smile grew even more.

"You'll see."

With a heavy sigh Rey leaned her seat back, "Murder in the woods. That's all I'm saying."

A small chuckle from Ben. "I guess you'll just have to wait and see."

After about twenty more minutes the car pulled up to a huge dock on the lake. It looked to be a boat rental place ranging from canoes to yachts. Rey couldn't care less what they got, just spending the day on the water with Ben sounded perfect. 

"Ben," she gasped and looked to Ben in the driver's seat. His eyes were already locked on her. "You didn't have to bring me here, just the vacation was good enough."

Rey swore she saw a literal twinkle in his eye as he spoke his next words, "But I wanted to. You deserve it. Now come on." 

Ben grabbed her hand after locking the car and pulled her towards the kiosk, giving his name. He still didn't tell her what kind of boat they'd be on, he only led her further down the dock. The lake was just to their right and if Rey looked down she could see the reflection of her and Ben walking hand in hand. It was a sight she'd never grow tired of. 

It was a fairly hot summer day and so spending it here was the way to be sure they wouldn't waste it. All was almost perfect save for Ben's mood recently but she hadn't caught him gloomy yet today, so _today_ was perfect. She didn't remember the last time she ever used that word to describe her life, or if she ever had before. It was a gift considering it was nearly impossible for everything to be perfect. That's what spending time with Ben made her feel though. Just being with him made everything okay even if it truly wasn't. 

"Here we are."

Rey was pulled out of her trance by Ben's voice and looked up to see the biggest, most exquisite boat she's ever seen. To spend the day on that thing... to spend an _hour_ on that thing would be the highlight of her year. 

She looked up to see Ben grinning stupidly down at her before he pressed a wet kiss to her forehead. Confused, Rey looked between Ben and the boat, Ben, the boat. Finally she came to terms that..

"Wait, we're not--"

Ben nodded.

"We're seriously getting on _that_? How the hell did you manage to rent a yacht?"

Immediately the grin on Ben's face morphed into an expression of worry. "Is it-- do you not like it?"

"Oh no don't get me wrong I will love every second of it," she said running her hands up and down his chest. "I'm just surprised is all." She thanked him further by standing up on her tippy toes to press a kiss to his lips, moaning quietly at the taste she would never tire of. "Thank you," she whispered against him.

"Of course," Ben said. "I had to do something special for our last day before heading back to chaos." Rey groaned. "Ugh, don't remind me."

"Don't worry... I'll make you forget soon enough," he was whispering in her ear now. A tingling shot down her spine and traveled straight to her core, arousing her already. "Shit," Rey mumbled to herself. "Okay big guy come on, let's get on that boat. _Now_."

Ben laughed the loudest she'd ever heard as she dragged him up the ramp to the rich entrance of the boat. "Anything for my girl," she thought she heard him say. A feeling like no other overtook her heart and body at those words. It was a feeling she'd never experienced before and to be honest it terrified her. But she couldn't deny it anymore. She couldn't make it go away. It was how she felt and nothing was going to change that.

Minutes later when the yacht was floating idly away from the dock, Ben chased Rey around the upper deck, their yells and squeals almost completely drowned out by the boat's engine. Ben preyed on her from around a couch, Rey giggling the entire time. He pretended to pounce every few seconds making her jolt and start to move the other way. 

Eventually Ben gave up on that and instead jumped over the couch leading him right to Rey. She squealed as he grabbed her waist, picking her up from behind and spinning her around. When he set her back on the surface, she turned her head to look up at him and he responded by leaning down to press a hard kiss to her mouth. It was hot and passionate, growing more intense every second. The intense wind blowing helped the mood. 

When they separated, Rey leaned her back against his torso with her arms reached up behind her and wrapped around Ben's neck. His arms circled her hips and kept her close to him, his chin resting on her shoulder as they faced the water and seeing where it met the horizon so far away. 

It was times like these she lived for. There were few moments in her life she could say _that right there is the reason I'm alive_ and this was easily becoming one of them. The air around them was quiet now since they were in the middle of the lake and the engine was turned off. The only sounds were the tiny waves in the water and their heavy breaths. 

After a few more minutes of this, Rey escaped from his grip and took his hand in hers. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she just smirked. She began to lead him away from the upper deck, down some stairs and to the back of the boat where the deck was almost level with the water. 

Turning around to face him, she said nothing as she pulled her shirt over her head all while Ben stared at her with wide eyes. She could tell he was itching to touch her by the way his fists flexed at his sides. Trying not to laugh, Rey tucked her thumbs into the waist of her shorts and every so slowly pulled them down now only leaving her in undergarments. 

Ben's pupils were blown, eyes so dark that Rey would be scared if she didn't know him. She stepped towards him feeling bold and let herself rub against his clothed body. Her hands traveled from his stomach, up to his pecs and over his shoulders, massaging him gently. She felt Ben place his hands on her waist, rubbing her soft skin in circles with his thumb. It wasn't long before he traveled south and held her ass, squeezing it every few seconds. 

"What do you think you're doing, Miss Niima?" He whispered in her ear with a raspy voice, clearly aroused. 

Rey only smiled from her hiding spot in the crook of his neck and slowly pulled away from him, removing his hands from her body. Ben looked beyond confused and by the way his hard length prodded into her stomach, she could guess that all he wanted was to touch her again. Stepping back, Rey neared the edge of the boat.

"I'm going swimming."

The last thing she saw before plunging into the lukewarm water was Ben's jaw dropping slightly at her trick. 

Rey remained under water for about ten seconds before she came up for air. After wiping her eyes, she saw Ben still on the deck but undressing rather quickly, leaving himself in only his boxers before diving quite elegantly into the water. 

Her eyes widened at the realization that he was probably under her right now and might--

A squeal erupted from Rey's throat at the touch of someone tickling her feet under the water and slowly moving up towards her waist. She flailed around in the water, splashing everywhere as Ben touched her from under the surface.

After a moment Ben came up and shook his head like a dog trying to get the water off his face. It was an adorable sight to Rey. His dark brown eyes somehow sparkled in the sunlight and his skin beamed. He was beautiful.

"You're gonna pay for that one!" Ben exclaimed before diving under the water again. 

It was a dreadful couple of seconds of silence with Rey not having any clue what Ben was about to do. Then all at once, Rey felt herself being raised from the water and something sitting between her thighs. When she looked down she saw that Ben had placed her on his shoulders and held onto her legs. 

Ben waved her around and teased her, pretending to drop her only to make his stance straight again at the last second to keep her up. She held onto his head, grasping his hair like it held her to life. Which in a way, it did. If Ben was feeling any pain or discomfort then he didn't show it one bit. 

When he seemed to tease her again, Rey fully expected for him to pull her back up like he always did but this time he shoved her off his shoulders and basically _threw_ her into the water with a grunt.

The action caused a gallon of water to go up Rey's nose, making her couch for a good twenty seconds when she came up for air. "Are you okay?" She heard Ben ask but she just waved him off, preparing for her attack. She had Ben reeled in, worrying about her so she could prey on him easily now. 

Ben moved closer to her so he could make sure she was okay but as soon as he was close enough, Rey drew her hand back and shoved the water in front of her forward. In other words, she splashed the hell out of him. 

Rey erupted in a fit of giggles immediately and Ben had a stunned look on his face, jaw completely dropped. "You... traitor!" He shouted and darted for her, splashing her back and grabbing onto her. The two warred on like this for a while and Ben ended up chasing her all over again in the water. 

When Rey began to grow tired, she swam towards the back of the boat where the lower deck was. Ben was still swimming after her so she grabbed onto the short ladder to help her up but she was moving so fast that she kicked her leg forward and hit the still, but sharp propeller, no doubt leaving a nasty cut.

A hiss escaped her lips and she stilled on the ladder. After a few moments and realizing Ben was close behind her, she managed to hobble up the ladder on mostly one foot since the other was stinging pretty badly. 

As soon as she was up and over the ladder, she sat on the floor and waited for Ben. Surely she could walk on her own but she didn't want Ben to get on the boat and start tackling her again, making the cut hurt worse or something. 

Ben's head peaked over the top of the ladder and Rey watched his face morph from playful to to slightly bothered. "Hey are you okay?" He said as he moved towards Rey on the ground. There was a cut on the front of her lower leg with a trail of blood down her leg from it. Ben picked up her leg and draped it across his lap. Rey whimpered lightly at the strong stinging while Ben examined it.

"Yeah, it just--" she hissed, "I-It hurts."

"I know," Ben muttered. 

He eventually set her leg back down and stood up before crouching down again to pull her into his arms. He held her bridal style and began to make his way back to the upper deck. "What am I gonna do with you, hmm?" Rey chuckled lightly as he set her down on a ridiculously comfy couch. It was probably nicer than her own bed. 

Ben somehow managed to find a first-aid kit and patched her up rather quickly. Rey zoned in on how focused Ben was at repairing her not-very-serious wound and how attentive he was to her needs.

He finished her off with a kiss to her leg and smiled up at her after. It took a few seconds before Rey realized that his smile more more sinister than friendly. Her thoughts were confirmed when he trailed kisses from her leg, up her thigh, to her inner thighs. Surely her thighs would be purple tomorrow from all the bruises he was sucking. 

With a low growl, Ben hooked his thumbs in the waistband of her panties and pulled them down all in one action. A small amount of slick already covered her inner thighs from being touched by Ben so much. It wasn't hard to have the urge to fuck Ben, but right now it seemed that he was all about pleasuring her.

Ben began by teasing her, _of course_ , and licking around her cunt but never went exactly where she needed it most. He pressed a wet kiss to her mound and by now Rey was thrashing under him, needing some kind of release.

"Shhh," he cooed. "I'll give you what you need, don't worry. Try not to hit that leg on anything for me." Rey nodded and groaned at her low ability to be patient. But finally, Ben moved lower and pressed a light kiss to her nub before taking it between his lips. Throwing her head back violently, Rey moaned so loud that it was a blessing that no one was around. 

His tongue worked like magic, circling around her clit and dragging lines. She was pretty sure he even spelled his name. He moved even lower and licked a stripe up her pussy starting at her entrance. Rey bit her lip so hard she was almost sure she tasted a hint of copper. She tried to fist the couch cushions and frowned when she remembered they weren't sheets.

Ben continued to lick and suck at her as he brought two of his fingers to her entrance, pushing in slowly to the knuckle. Rey gasped. "Fuck Ben that's so good... always... feels so good."

"I know, I know it does," his words vibrated against her cunt. His fingers thrust in and out of her at a rapid pace making Rey cry out continuously. Ben reached behind him to grab ahold of her legs and slung them over his shoulders making him feel more enclosed in her wetness that tasted so good.

"Take another, you can do it," Ben said with barely any warning before pushing a third finger into her wet heat. Rey was close now, he could tell by the way her cunt clenched around his fingers. "Please Ben.." she begged.

"That's it, beg me Rey. Beg me to make you cum."

He went faster, plunging his fingers in and out. He crooked them then, rubbing against her g-spot. A scream tore from Rey's throat at that and she couldn't get the words to leave her mouth. 

" _Puh, pluh_ , _please_ Ben... please let me cum..."

Ben lowered his face to her dripping core again and kissed it before rumbling, "Good girl." 

Like before, he took her clit between his teeth and sucked it, massaging her with his tongue even harder than before while his fingers still worked inside of her. Ben continued this until she came all over his hand, coating him with her cum. 

Her breathing was heavy and so was his. After a minute when they both calmed slightly, Ben dropped her legs to the floor gently and stood.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." Ben said and then disappeared around the corner. Rey let her eyes flutter closed and it felt like no time before Ben was back at her side, this time ready to clean her up.

She felt a towel wipe her thighs, gathering her juices and cum which stuck to her skin. He ran the cloth over her pussy gently with care but it still made Rey jolt. Ben only shushed her and when he said he was done she barely heard him. She was still in a euphoric state from one of the most intense orgasms she'd ever had. It would take a lot to top that one.

Ben picked her up from the sofa which they had just broke in together and carried her to the very top of the boat where the steering wheel was and where to set the course. She leaned against his chest in his arms, once again being in the bridal style position. 

When he got to the captain's chair, Ben readjusted Rey in his arms so he could sit down with her on his lap, back pressed against his torso. His arms wrapped around her waist again, not unlike the position they stood in on the upper deck before they went "swimming" if you could call it that.

Setting the course, Rey watched as the boat slowly turned and began to head back towards the main land. Relaxing once again, she enjoyed the view of the water sparkling from the sunlight and the view of the horizon where the sky and lake met, admiring how they could never part. 

With a smile on her face, Rey leaned back to rest her head on the shoulder of the man she was learning to love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to leave your thoughts and predictions in the comments! I love reading them. :))
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey return from vacation and Rey meets up with Poe. Both of their days don't go as planned though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of a filler and I began writing it on 10/31, the same day I wrote chapter 12 so hopefully I'll get it out soon. Sorry if it's kinda short!
> 
> Also I upped the chapter count from 20 to 24, but that will most likely be the set chapter count for the story now. I've got the rest completely planned out :))
> 
> ALSOOOO look at me updating one day after i already did. go me :)) (spoiler, its only cause im quarantined until friday)

The drive home was uneventful, as most car rides are especially when the vacation is over. Ben didn't seem pissed nor in a great mood so Rey was unable to decipher if he was still feeling down. She also slept most of the ride home which didn't allow her to pay much attention to him and his emotions.

However, every time Rey woke up during the drive she felt a weight on her leg and panicked internally before realizing it was just Ben's hand resting on her thigh, rubbing and squeezing it occasionally. The touch of his hand warmed her entire body even though it only contacted a small fraction of her body. It was a fire that ignited in one spot but spread everywhere else in the speed of lightning. 

It was a great thing to wake up to especially after dreaming of nothing but a future where she was with Ben forever. Due to the position she was in, she was able to watch Ben whenever she was awake. This was a blessing since he still looked unbelievably _hot_ when he drove. It was a fairly simple task and yet somehow he made it look good.

One hand rested on the wheel while the other rested on her leg. When he had sunglasses on it was even better; he looked _extremely_ fuckable then. She felt like she could let him do almost anything to her when he looked like that. Maybe even without the sunglasses too, but who knew for sure.

Every once in a while when he'd catch her awake and find her staring at him, he'd smile small and if there were no cars surrounding theirs he would even lean over to press a kiss to her lips or forehead. The action made butterflies spawn in her belly and they wouldn't go down until she was asleep again. If she dreamt of him though, (which was often) they wouldn't go away for a long time.

Rey played with his camera again and took more pictures of him. She even snapped some of herself making funny faces just so when he scrolled through pictures later he would maybe laugh. Maybe it'd make his day; just her ability to do that made her heart soar.

She slept for the remaining two hours of the trip and barely woke when Ben carried her inside to her apartment. There was so much to do... getting back to work, catching up with friends, making sure Ben was okay...

But for now all Rey wanted was more sleep and with that, to dream of Ben. More importantly of Ben being with _her_. Those dreams came easily after spending so much time with him and at this point she was willing to spend the rest of her time on Earth with him.

———

"There's my girl! How are ya?" Poe chimed as Rey entered Maz's Cafe a few blocks away from her apartment. She'd known Maz forever and visited her when she could. In a way she acted as a guardian or parental figure to Rey since there was really no one else to fill the position. Unfortunately for Rey, Maz had been sick and in the hospital for a while now and the last time she saw her was a little before she met Ben. Being in her shop offered her a little comfort though. 

"I'm doing okay, how about yourself? Rey hugged Poe after noticing him walk through the doors. There was a gleam in his eye that wasn't there before so maybe something happened with him--

"Actually I'm more than okay," he held up his hand and Rey gasped. "Finn and I are engaged!" 

"Poe! That's so great!" Rey sprung forward and hugged her best friend, so happy for him and at the same time wishing that one day she could have that. "I'm happy for you, really." She smiled. 

"Thanks Rey, it means a lot. What about you?" Poe asked as they moved to sit at the table Rey had claimed for them. "How's camera boy?" 

Rey chuckled at the still ridiculous name for him, " _Ben_ is great thank you." She paused and considered her words. "Actually I don't know why I said that, um... I'm not sure if he's doing good," she mumbled and then laughed humorlessly.

Poe raised a brow and looked at her with confusion in his features. "What do you mean?"

She swallowed. "In the past couple of days he's been kind of... off and on. Like I'll catch him staring into nothing or not being very talkative like he usually is with me." A pause. "He's been looking at his phone weird too lately. Like someone's reaching out to him and he doesn't want them too or whatever's being sent to him makes him upset. I don't know, he won't tell me."

"You asked him?"

"Yeah," Rey nodded and bit her lip to stop any possible tears. "I've asked him a couple of times and he claims nothing's wrong but I know him better than that. He said it didn't have anything to do with me either which I'm not sure how to feel about or if I should even believe it. Yesterday actually he was mostly fine, it was the day before that it was really noticeable."

Poe gave a low hum and tapped his fingers against his chin as if in deep thought. "Maybe I should talk to him," Rey opened her mouth to interject but Poe stopped her, "and before you say no, let me just say that I have before and it seemed to work like a charm." 

Rey squinted her brows together. "When did you-- how do you know it worked?"

A prideful smile edged its way onto Poe's face. "Because you're together." 

It all came together in her head... Poe must've talked some sense into Ben during their misunderstanding a month ago. "He never told me you did that," she said lowly. 

"Nah, I didn't expect him to. But anyways, I can help you out again if you'd like?" He offered.

"It's okay, Poe. I really appreciate it but honestly if we're ever going to be successful then we need to start working things out on our own. He needs to be able to come to me without being pushed and prodded to, you know?"

"Yeah I get that, just let me know if you change your mind or if he seems like he needs a friend. I believe I'm a great one if you ask me," he winked being his charismatic and charming self. Rey laughed, "You _are_ a great friend and I'll definitely let you know."

The two got up to order drinks and when they sat back down Rey ranted on some more:

"I just can't stop wondering if it's really something I did or if he's just slowly distancing himself so he can let me down easier. I don't know, most of me believes that he really likes me but there's still a tiny sliver of me doubting everything we've been through together. But maybe that's just my past experiences talking." She frowned and sipped at her coffee.

Poe put his drink down and pushed it to the side before leaning forward to take one of Rey's tiny hands in his, cupping it. "Rey, you know I'm a brutally honest person right? Or at least most of the time?" She nodded. "Right, so please hear me when I say that I've seen the way he look at you. It's the way I sometimes catch Finn staring at me and we're engaged! I think it's safe to assume that you're the best thing in his life because I've seen him smile more being with you than I did in all the years working with him before he met you. If he's going through something he'll come to you when he's ready. That doesn't mean its not okay to prod a little bit, but he might not know how to approach you about whatever it is." He took a breath. "All I'm saying is, I think there's nothing to be strongly concerned about overall."

A sigh of relief left Rey's mouth. His words really did reassure her that everything was okay with Ben. Perhaps she was overthinking this way too much. After all, he seemed fine yesterday in the car and on the boat. _Especially_ on the boat.

"Thank you Poe, it means a lot that you're helping me. Speaking of which, I'm sorry that I cry to you about my life problems so much. I can imagine you probably get tired of it quickly," Rey laughed but Poe didn't reciprocate the expression. Instead, his smile dimmed. 

"If anyone gets to talk to someone about things in their life, it's you Rey. You've been through way more shit than the average person with your parents and living situations. You can always come to me, don't be afraid to."

"I know, thank you again." She smiled. "Wow okay this conversation turned grim fast." They both chuckled. "So how's work been the past few days?" She asked him. 

He sighed, "Ah you know, same old same old. Models bitching, everyone else rolling their eyes."

"Mm sounds like no fun. I can't say I'm excited to go back there." Rey thought about her confession to Ben that she really hated her job. Poe already knew. "I know, I hope you can get out of there soon girl. Oh speaking of which, I heard that Leia might be starting a new line or working on something else for RESISTANCE. No one knows what it'll be but sounds interesting."

There was a one in a million chance she'd ever be asked to transfer but oh, could Rey dream. "Yeah that does sound cool." Rey murmured idly while really thinking about how strongly she despised working with models.

The friends chatted some more mostly about Poe and Finn's upcoming wedding. Rey teased that she better be his best man to which Poe responded by saying "I wouldn't have anyone else." 

Knowing Poe, they'd have some huge, extravagant wedding with a tent that could fit two hundred people. They'd have a professional DJ with a vast dancefloor and a five-course meal served to everyone. They'd choose the prime colors with seriousness, making sure it would be the best reception anyone had ever been to. Rey couldn't say she wasn't excited and hopefully Ben would accompany her. 

Imagining Ben in a bowtie or just a tie in general made her heart skip a beat. If she thought he was gorgeous when he was asleep or just simply in the mornings then how beautiful would he look then? He'd do his hair and spend a little more time on it than he normally does. He'd be sure to shave so his face was smooth or leave a little stubble at the most. He'd smell of the ocean or roses, one of the two; his cologne was (almost) her favorite thing about him. His long legs would stride across the dancefloor trying to get to her, eyes set on the dress that clung to her body. The sight would likely kill her but what better way to go than that?

They would dance the night away and forget that they weren't alone, so completely lost in each other's eyes, so full of love. And everything would be perfect.

Right now it wasn't, but maybe one day. Maybe soon. 

She could only hope.

Rey and Poe bid their farewells not long after the topic of his upcoming marriage plans and Rey was strongly looking forward to going home, changing into sweatpants and fuzzy socks and curling up in bed for the rest of the day. Although it was summer, her heater wasn't the best making it seem like fall during the summer and the Arctic during winter. 

The only good thing about it was that she could snuggle up under her duvet and layers upon layers of blankets and still be quite comfortable. Plus when Ben was there he acted as her own personal heater. 

She'd probably end up texting him when she got home to see if he wanted to come over after work and maybe spend the night. Being apart for only fifteen hours did a number on her heart and soul. She wanted him, always. 

It was windy outside as per usual in Chicago and the sky was cloudy. All more the reason for her to go home and spend the rest of the day in bed. Preferably with Ben but regardless, it would still be nice and relaxing.

Rey always enjoyed walking home since she kind of adored chillier weather. There were fewer people on the streets since most people favored the sun even though the temperature would probably remain the same since it was Chicago.

Her low heels clicked against the concrete sidewalk as she neared her apartment complex. She just had to turn the corner and pass the alleyway she always walked by and then she'd be in sight of it. Rey wanted nothing more than to be in bed right now and she was _oh so close._

When she approached the alleyway, she could hear a low rustle coming from within it and she automatically assumed it was a cat or racoon digging into an old trash can or something. But as she neared even closer she swore she could hear a low male voice. 

Fear beginning to seep through her skin, Rey stepped forward with caution, fully prepared to zoom past it and not even look at what was going on in there. But when she heard another noise and her natural instincts kicked in, she turned her head to look down the alley and froze.

It looked like a man was being interrogated by another... probably just gang shenannigans which Rey shouldn't interrupt and take no interest in. But when she saw the piece of metal being pressed to the man's head, she suddenly was unable to comprehend anything. She couldn't will her feet to move and could barely even remember to breathe. 

Because she was about to witness murder or _get_ murdered by them for _being_ a witness. The man pressing the gun to the other's head had dark eyes and if it were a supernatural world, Rey would say he was the devil based on how terrifying he looked. 

He was huge, bigger than Ben definitely, with a white muscle shirt on and cargo pants which were baggy around his legs. It was probably a bad thing that Rey was close enough to catch all of the details of his attire. 

The man with the gun began to shout but Rey couldn't pick up on what he was saying since her ears were starting to ring due to her impending fear. Her mind was screaming _run! What are you doing?! Get the hell out of there and stay safe! You're being so stupid right now._

_Think of Ben._

Rey had to push the voice to the back of her head because what if she left and then the next day a dead body was reported which she possibly could've helped prevent? What if this didn't relate to a gang at all and a completely innocent man was about to lose his life? What if that man had been Ben? If she just would've called the police then maybe one more soul would still walk the Earth. Maybe she could help another woman see her husband again instead of losing him forever.

And yet even as she thought of this, she was utterly conflicted, torn between running for her life and never looking back or trying to help. 

She never had the chance to settle her internal dilemma because the last thing she sensed before everything went black was the piercing sound of a gunshot and the sight of the male victim falling to the ground. A searing pain in her abdomen was felt for less than a millisecond before Rey fell unconscious. 

———

Ben sighed as he rounded the corner nearest to his penthouse. One hand gripped the top of the steering wheel of his Audi, mind fully set on going home and taking a nice hot shower before bed. 

And possibly seeing Rey. 

His heart tickled at the thought. Being able to sleep at night with Rey cuddled up in his arms was a blessing. He didn't deserve it to say the least. He wasn't sure how a smart, beautiful girl like Rey could ever see him the way she did but he wouldn't question it.

He felt terrible for keeping the Bazine shit a secret and he was going to tell her. Maybe tonight. It was always hard for him to be completely open and vulnerable as proven when he couldn't properly tell her that he wasn't seeing Bazine a month ago.

Tonight, then.

As he pulled into his parking garage he shot her a text.

Today 4:37PM

**BEN: <<hey could u come over later? or i can come to yours. doesn't matter, i just really need to talk to you about something.>>**

He pressed send and locked his Audi before taking the trip in the elevator up to his home. It had been a couple minutes and Rey still hadn't responded. Was he being clingy? Yes and no: Rey always responded right when he texted unless she was busy which he didn't think she was. On the other hand though, his thoughts were kind of possessive but he couldn't help it. 

Nothing would ever stop him from worrying about his girl.

The elevator ride was a long one considering his penthouse was at the top of the tall building. He idly listened to the beeps of the elevator floor as the floors past, waiting for one of them to sound abnormal and be his phone chiming. He loved hearing from Rey even if it was just her asking a silly question or saying hi because she missed him.

Ben smiled to himself in the small space, something that was uncommon for him. It used to take a lot to make him laugh back when he went by Kylo and now just the smallest thought of one person had him beaming like a kid in a candy aisle. 

The elevator doors slid open and Ben strutted out, not even noticing the figure perched on his luxurious sofa. 

"Ah, there he is! Finally." Boomed the voice.

Ben froze and jolted, startled by the echoing voice. Turning his head, his heart froze in his chest and his blood turned to ice. Every ounce of love in his body morphed into ones of pure hatred and lividness. 

Spread across his couch with a wicked smirk, was Snoke.

"Hello boy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...our constant fluff had to come to an end at some point... but HEY i did promise a happy ending didnt i?  
> \----------------------------------------------------  
> Thanks for reading! Be sure to give kudos and leave your thoughts in the comments below!!!!!
> 
> Stay safe!


	14. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben chats with Snoke and informs Rey of what's been bothering him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this without editing cuz i havent updated in so long so sorry for any errors ill fix them one day buttt heres a nice long chapter for u.. 6k words
> 
> sorry 4 the delay, schools been kicking my ass recently but thank u for sticking with me
> 
> speaking of which...
> 
> THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH FOR 5,000 HITS!!! I LOVE AND APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU ENDLESSLY I CANNOT EVEN EXPRESS IT !!!!❤️❤️❤️

**One Year Ago**

Kylo Ren's footsteps pounded harshly against the dark floors as the sound of his presence lightly echoed off the walls in the hallway. The dim light of the area surrounded him as he made way to First Order's main sector. Employees typed at their computers furiously trying to compete with one another to impress the man himself, Kylo Ren but above him, Snoke.

When Kylo reached the broader area in terms of people and space, almost every set of eyes locked onto him. Ren was feared there. And that fact was something that filled his chest with pride. He enjoyed it, but less than he used to.

Being Snoke's right hand man made him feel important as did being feared by every other employee. But Kylo was beginning to believe none of that was worth it.

In secret, he'd been contacting his mother and trying to reach an agreement on a job for him at her company RESISTANCE. How he managed to keep it from his boss, he didn't know because it seemed that he knew everything. Sometimes it was even to the point that Kylo was convinced Snoke could read his mind, but that was a stretch.

It took a while for Kylo to accept the idea that he'd soon be working for Leia, whom he hadn't been very fond of until recently due to his childhood experience. It also took him a short amount of time to build up the courage to tell Snoke but he was pretty sure he was ready. That's why Kylo was currently heading to his boss's office to give his two weeks. How he'd take it, Kylo didn't know. But what he did know, is that he would probably not take it lightly.

The idea that this was the last time his employee's afraid eyes would look into his brought content to his heart. He could start over at a new place and probably even be happier than he was now. Being at First Order was nice, but only for a short time. Snoke's games had gotten old and it was time to move on.

His boots came to a halt before the door to Snoke's rich looking office. He hated to admit it, but Kylo feared Snoke just as his workers feared him. A shaky breath left his mouth before reaching up and knocking twice, a signal to Snoke that it was Kylo behind the door.

"Come in boy," said the raspy and almost deadly voice.

Reluctantly pushing the door open, Kylo set his eyes on the man he had come to hate. He regretted ever taking up business with Snoke now. After what it did to him and his relationship with those he loved, it simply had to stop.

Kylo placed himself in the short chair in front of Snoke's huge desk area. Snoke sat in a risen chair behind it making Kylo feel small. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" The boss said with a malicious smile. Kylo swallowed.

"I've come to notify you that after a decent amount of time with the First Order and despite the things that it's given me, it's simply not enough for me anymore. I'd like to put in my two weeks." A sense of relief washed over him after finally letting it out. The things Kylo was saying was the G-rated version and in the absolute nicest way possible because getting into it with Snoke was not something he ever wanted to deal with again.

The smile on Snoke's face didn't fade at Kylo's confession which made the fear return. Although when he spoke next, he sounded disgusted. " Really Ren? You want to leave? After everything I've done for you, after everything I've given you!" Snoke's voice boomed now. "Surely you must be mistaken with your own self because there is no way that the Kylo Ren I know would give up a position like this!" A deafening pause. "The only person I know to commit an act as foolish as this one would be Ben Solo." The smile was gone now, replaced with a horrifying sneer.

"I'm not foolish," Kylo said sitting up straighter. Snoke raised his faded brows. "I'm doing what I know is right and after all the manipulation you put me through to do your dirty work, I'm done."

Snoke didn't hesitate to respond, this time in a calmer tone but still threatening words, "I hope you know that whatever other unsuccessful company you move to, I'll have it taken over within half a year. You can't fool me boy, I know everything and I will destroy any chance of you getting a position remotely close to this one."

At this point Kylo was done and wanted no part of Snoke anymore which led him to say "You can try, but I guarantee your hubris will fall in the way of everything you try to accomplish. Forget the two weeks, I'll clear my office now," he said standing.

It felt as if a huge weight was lifted from Kylo's shoulders after it crushing his bones and muscles for so long. He was drowning in his own blood and sweat and almost ready to collapse before finally realizing what he truly needed even if it would be a change. He felt fearless, like he could conquer anything now and that's all he wanted to feel. He wanted to independent from Snoke and do things his way without anyone questioning him.

As he made his way to the exit Snoke still screamed obscurities at him which he paid no attention to. He wouldn't ever let his former boss and manipulator get to him again because he was headed to his mother's company and no matter how hard Snoke tried, he wouldn't bring it down. Leia would die before she let him.

Ben Solo strode out of the First Order building feeling the best he had in months and it wasn't long before he went to the airport to catch an immediate flight to Chicago.  
  
  


**Present Day**   
  
  


A thousand unwelcomed memories came flooding back into Ben's head as he stared at the horrifying view of Snoke on his couch. He almost lashed out on instinct, almost attacked him and yelled for him to get the hell out but he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't succumb to the behavior Snoke brought out in him.

His eyes were wide and he shook with how hard he was clenching his jaw. The dark part of him screamed to either go back to L.A with Snoke or make him leave in the most vile way possible.

"You shouldn't be surprised to see me." His former boss' words snapped him out of his flashbacks but the fury didn't leave Ben's features. "Considering you didn't return to First Order after I sent Bazine _and_ after she contacted you saying I would come for you, you really shouldn't look so... stunned."

Ben was still frozen as Snoke stood and made his way to the tall shelf of liquor nearby. The tall man let out a heavy sigh as he poured whiskey into one of Ben's finest glasses. The thought of Snoke's grimy hands all over his property made him sick.

"Drink?" Snoke offered with a smirk. When Ben didn't so much as twitch one limb, he sighed again. "Suit yourself."

The air was thick with tension and the last thing Ben wanted was to be alone with Snoke right now. Why couldn't he just be with Rey? Why couldn't they be cuddled up in bed or snuggled together on the couch watching one of the dumb rom-com movies she likes? He's take that a million times over what he was experiencing now.

"You know," Snoke started again before plopping himself on the couch again, this time with his drink in hand, "Bazine told me something rather interesting." Ben's chest tightened. "She told me you have a little... _girlfriend_ of some sort."

"Don't fucking talk about her," Ben spat.

A sinister chuckle left Snoke's mouth, "Oh, defensive are we? You brought this all on yourself my boy. Because now you're not entirely focused on your work which is a major flaw of yours. This girl has you wrapped up around her tiny finger which only aids me."

Ben's teeth were clenched together so hard he was surprised he hadn't cracked a tooth yet. He barely even noticed the pain of his finger nails digging into the skin of his palms creating small crescent lines. "I can call the cops, you know," he said. "I can report you for breaking and entering and have you shipped off to jail right now."

Another laugh, this one extended. "Oh my boy, I don't remember you being so naive. If you call the police: one, I will be sure to bring down you, your girlfriend and RESISTANCE within no time, no matter where I am. Second, you know me. I'm too powerful. Too mighty to be taken by any other force. I play this game well Solo, much better than you do. So if I were you, I'd either come back to California with me right now or run along to your little play thing and wait for destruction to come. Your choice."

Snoke raised an eyebrow waiting for Ben's response. But he just stood there with a glint in his eyes that would shatter his old boss to pieces if looks could kill.

"I think it's time for you to leave. Now." Ben gritted out through his clenched jaw. To his surprise, Snoke actually stood and began to make his way towards the elevator but not before a final word:

"You're making a huge mistake Solo, whether you know it or not. I deeply hope you can recognize that because if not, it will be your downfall. Don't forget that," Snoke said before giving him one last threatening look and stepping into the lift.

When the doors shut and Ben was left alone, a shuddering breath escaped his mouth. His fists were still clenched tight but all feeling was still numb. He wasn't sure how long he stood there just staring at the closed elevator doors in complete shock and he wasn't comprehending anything.

He could barely remember his own name; all he could think of was Snoke and how he somehow weaved his way back into Ben's life after he thought he'd finally escaped him a year ago.

Everything was going so great right up until Bazine began contacting him. He was thriving as a photographer at his mother's company, he was happier than ever especially since he had Rey and just went on a beautiful vacation with--

_Rey._

The thought of her somehow pulled Ben out of his deep trance immediately. He unclenched his fists and felt a sting on both palms. Looking down, a few trails of blood ran down each hand as a result of his fingernails burying themselves in his skin.

Quickly wiping them off on his pants, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned on his phone to see that Rey hadn't responded to his text from a little under an hour ago. The fact worried him a little bit but his mind assured him that she was perfectly alright.

In a state of desperation, he texted her again:  
  
  


Today 5:20PM

**BEN: <<sorry to bug you again but are you free right now?? something just came up and i really need to see you. now.>>**

He pressed send without another thought and barely noticed the small smear of blood his thumb left where the 'send' button was.

After that, he didn't know what happened. One second he was standing in the same place he'd been for the past forty-five minutes and the next he was next to his liquor shelf mindlessly smashing random bottles of alcohol, the sound of glass shattering echoing off the walls.

He didn't care about the mess, he didn't care about all the money he was wasting by destroying his entire collection. All he cared about was unleashing his anger on something rather than someone. The acts he was committing were not unlike things Kylo would do and that thought only made him scream louder and rip the shelf from the wall so it tumbled to the ground with the broken glass.

After a while when his breathing was a little too heavy and he was shaking uncontrollably, he decided to call it quits. His red and bleary eyes looked across the vast space of his living room to see it torn to shreds. It was worse than he thought it'd be. He'd try to clean some of it up so his butler wouldn't have to do it all for him. That just didn't seem fair.

The ringing in his ears slowly faded but soon it was replaced with a different kind. It had a pattern and almost sounded like a... song?

It took a few more seconds before Ben realized it was his phone ringing. He patted down his sides and over his pockets trying to feel for it but had no success in locating it. It must've been somewhere in the midst of all the glass and liquid on the once shiny and polished floors.

Surprisingly it only took about ten more seconds of searching for it before he found it face down on the floor a decent distance away from the majority of the mess. He prayed that the name 'Rey' would be displayed across the top of the screen when he turned it over but to his disappointment it was a number he'd never seen before.

Not caring who it was and ready to tell off whoever was on the other side, he pressed the green button a little more aggressively than he usually did.

"Hello?" He said gruffly.

"Hi there, is a _Benjamin Solo_ there?"

A confused look dawned over his features. "Uh, yes this is him... who is this?"

"I'm calling on behalf of Coruscant Mercy Hospital because you're listed as Rey Niima's emergency contact," said the feminine voice on the other side.

There was a pause and an empty void took its place in Ben's chest. Was this why Rey hadn't texted him--

"There's been an accident and Miss Niima is actually headed into surgery right now. We can provide you with further details once you arrive."

And suddenly, it was as if his whole world tilted on its axis. He forgot about Snoke and all of his other problems. He forgot his name again and where he worked. He forgot where he was, how old he was, who his parents were.

The only thing he knew was Rey and that he loved her and that he couldn't lose her.

He mumbled something about being there as soon as he could and dashed out the door not caring if he had blood on his clothes. Hopefully he had his keys but he wouldn't worry about that now.

It turned out he did and it took only ten minutes before he was sprinting through the front hospital doors and to the first reception desk he could find.

"REY NIIMA," he shouted, not caring who heard him.

The woman behind the desk jumped a little and Ben barely comprehended what she told him... something about having to wait in the waiting room until surgery was over so the doctor could tell him exactly what happened and how it was going to affect her.

He nodded glumly and waddled towards one of the blue padded chairs to wait for what could be his worst nightmare.

Sitting there felt like he was under the influence of anesthesia. Maybe alcohol too, but this numbness felt stronger... too real.

Just by looking at him, one would assume nothing was wrong. That maybe he was just a man waiting to be checked in for a concussion or waiting for his wife who just needed a couple of stitches. But beneath his skin there was guilt, devastation, and fury. Enraged at himself for not being there with her. Guilty for not proving to her how much he cared for her. Horribly devastated at the idea that he may very possibly lose her.

A million memories flashed in Ben's head as if he wanted to remember every single moment with her if she didn't make it....

" _Are you from around here?...."_

_"Please don't go without cause..."_

_"God, you're beautiful..."_

_"I was afraid..."_

_"I don't think I've ever needed someone as much as I need you..."_

_"Mr. Solo..."_

_Huh?_

"Mr. Solo?"

Ben's head shot up from the back of the chair not realizing he had fallen asleep. He blinked away his bleary vision and looked up to see a man in light blue scrubs staring down at him with apologetic eyes. It made Ben's heart shatter.

"Sir, my name is Doctor Wexley and I'm assisting in on Rey's surgery. I'm here to update you."

He stood up so fast the doctor stumbled back a step but quickly recovered himself.

"What is it?" Ben demanded. "What the hell happened to Rey?" When the doctor didn't speak for a mere second after Ben had, he grew more tense. "I asked you a question! I don't even— I don't even know _why_ she's in here!" He tried to hold back a sob and took a deep breath. "So what happened?" He said in a steadier tone.

The doctor didn't hesitate this time at all. "Two men were getting into it in an alleyway. One pulled a gun on the other and shot him. Rey was outside the alley and the bullet went through the man and hit her." He paused a moment to allow Ben to take it all in but all he said was, "What else?"

"The bullet seemed to have entered Rey through the front of her abdomen making it seem like she was facing the men. It's possible she could have been about to attempt to stop the feud only for it to be too late." The doctor concluded.

"Damn it Rey..." Ben whispered. He wasn't mad at her for this, he could never be. Rey was the kind of person to help every person she saw; she was the most caring person he knew. But this time he cursed the trait since it's what made her end up hospitalized and unconscious.

It hurt his heart to think that his sweet girl had suffered. If anything he should be the one lying open on a table. Nothing she had ever done was bad enough to deserve this. Ben had done things... horrible things that should replace her with him.

Realizing the doctor was still in front of him he asked, "And how is she? What's happening now?"

"We were able to get the bullet out but there were a couple of complications.."

"What complications?" Ben asked immediately.

"Rey lost a lot of blood but we're getting it under control as we speak. The outcome looks bright and I'll have the lead surgeon, Doctor Andor update you when he's finished."

Ben thanked the man absently but instead of sitting back down he took to pacing in the small space. He couldn't sit down right now, he had to move. He didn't want to feel numb anymore although it seemed inevitable.

He needed to hit something... anything... but refrained from doing so. It would make nothing better and he would try his best not to revert to old practices of handling his anger.

One thing he would do though, is find the bastard who did this. Although he didn't mean to shoot Rey, he still did and anyone who hurt her would pay a price.

With every second that passed, Ben grew more anxious. With every single moment that went by, Rey could be closer to dying. There could be a new complication or perhaps they just lost her. He didn't even know if blood was still running through her veins at that very moment.

Ben wasn't a religious man, he never had been. But sitting in that dull waiting room with Rey's life on the line, he found himself speaking to God, if there was one listening somewhere.

He prayed that she would open her eyes and come back to him and he asked that if something like this were to ever happen again to make it him lying open in surgery and not her. He would switch roles with her in less than a heartbeat and wouldn't think twice about it.

It felt like another day before Ben saw a man in navy scrubs walking towards him when in reality it had only been a little over an hour. His skin was tan and he had a goatee which matched the color of his hair.

Ben was shaking as he stood and it took a moment before he steadied himself on his two feet. The doctor stopped a few feet away from him before speaking.

"Hi Mr. Solo, I'm Doctor Andor. I'm happy to report to you that Rey's surgery was successful."

A huff of relief immediately escaped Ben's lips.

"She's stable for now but did lose a lot of blood in the process of transportation and surgery. We expect she'll wake soon but we'll need to keep her here for at least a few days for observation after she wakes. Overall it depends on how her body responds to the strenuous operation but that's to be determined."

It took a moment for Ben to realize a year was running down his face. Crying was such foreign thing to him because he was so used to burying his feelings and drawing out anger instead. He wiped it away hastily and asked, "C—Can I see her?"

Doctor Andor smiled small and nodded, motioning for Ben to follow him to her room.

Ben's breath was heavy as he was led towards Rey. He wasn't sure he could handle it. Seeing his girl lying in a hospital bed unconscious before him would likely tear him apart. The knowledge that he could have prevented all of this made it worse. 

He hated when Rey walked home or anywhere far away in general alone and she knew this. He couldn't blame her though, he never could. Of course he wanted her to get out and get fresh air while experiencing the city but he just wished on longer travels she would call him to pick her up or just accompany her during her walk. He would gladly do either. 

Perhaps if he would've made time to wait for her after chatting with her friend they wouldn't be in this situation. Deep down Ben knew it was a stretch because there was no way he could've known this would happen but he couldn't stop himself from automatically blaming himself at least partially. 

After a couple minutes of walking through the busy hospital, Doctor Andor halted at a door and silently gestured to Ben that he was welcome to enter. Ben returned the nod and pushed open the door.

His breath was stolen as soon as he laid eyes on her. His bright, gorgeous girl rested on the risen bed with an oxygen tube hooked to her nose. A metered beeping sounded throughout the room which Ben discovered to be the vitals machine or whatever it was called. The fact that Rey wasn't just sleeping but in a temporary coma almost made his heart shatter as he moved towards her slowly.

His eyes full of despair raked up and down her body, the pit in his stomach growing an inch every second his gaze ran over a new completely still part of her. Now, he couldn't stop the gut-wrenching sobs that tore apart his chest. 

Ben collapsed into the chair placed right next to where Rey lay and allowed the tears to flow. He took her fragile hand in his and pressed unlimited kisses to the back of it before letting his forehead fall forward to rest on the bed, the heavy breaths and cries still coming from him.

The only thing he whispered for a long time was "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry.." because he didn't know what else to say. He couldn't express his sorrow enough and the fact that she wasn't awake to hear him made it all worse. 

Eventually when the tears slowed slightly he brought himself to open up with his words a little more:

"I don't know what to say," he whispered, picking his head up to look at her. "I'm so sorry this happened to you baby. I wish with everything I am that it was me who took the bullet. I'd do that for you any day Rey, you must know that. I'd take a bullet for you, I'd die for you, _hell,_ I'd still the ocean for you."

He looked up from his ongoing stare at their joined hands to see if she was looking at him somehow or if she twitched ever so slightly. But she was as still as ever and Ben continued, "Do what these doctors think you're gonna do and wake up soon okay? I can't go much longer without hearing your constant sarcasm and witty personality," he chuckled lightly. "I can't wait to see those beautiful hazel eyes or that beaming smile again. Do it for me okay? Even if it's the only thing you ever do for me again. Just come back to everybody. I'll wait for you..." 

Ben's eyes were hooded from crying and exhaustion as he found himself desiring to sleep. Allowing his head to rest on the bed once more, he drifted off to sleep while still clasping her hand. 

He dreamt of her face.

———

The sound of a door creaking open woke Ben with a startle, his head immediately shooting up. He wasn't concerned with the noise but rather if Rey's state had changed at all. 

With bleary but hopeful eyes, he rubbed them quickly with his fingers before setting his gaze upon her. A feeling of disappointment washed over him at the sight of Rey with her eyes still not ajar. 

Ben remembered the noise and turned to see a nurse there to check up on her and her vitals. He guessed that nothing had changed since the nurse said nothing to Ben. Once she left and he was alone in the room with Rey again, he let out a sad sigh. Looking back at her motionless features, he admired her. Her skin still glowed somehow and appeared smooth. Her eyelashes were still long and her lips had less color in them than usual, but there was still contrast there between their color and her skin. 

Reaching up, he stroked her face with the back of his hand and immediately grimaced in devastation when he found her skin to be cold. He moved slightly in the chair which made him realize something: he had to use the bathroom. Badly. 

His mouth contorted into a frown at the idea of leaving her side but he supposed he would only be a minute or two. Realizing there was a small bathroom connected to the room, he stood and bent over Rey to press a light kiss to her stationary lips. He smiled sadly and small before quickly moving towards the bathroom. 

When he looked into the mirror after finishing his business, he saw nothing but a broken man. A year ago, he never would have guessed he would be so utterly distraught over a human being other than himself. But that was Kylo, and he wasn't him anymore.

His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks flushed. Even though he'd just woken up it looked like he hadn't slept in days. In fact it looked like _he_ was the one who just got out of surgery and not Rey because even asleep he still found her to be captivating.

He braced himself against the sink by holding onto it and a single tear rolled down his face and landed in the sink. Ben watched as it created an almost invisible trail down the side of the sink and slowly make it's way towards the drain. His mind was numb and all he wanted was to speak to Rey. Even if she left him after this, it wouldn't matter. Well, it _would_ matter because he would be left completely heartbroken but if it meant she lived then he would somehow learn to cope with that.

After almost ten minutes spent in the bathroom and not wanting to be away from Rey any longer, he pulled the tiny handle and swung the door open. He looked up expecting nothing to have changed regarding Rey or _anything_ for that matter but his heart skipped two beats when he caught Rey's wide but tired gaze. 

She looked confused and helpless which made Ben's heart break. He wanted nothing more than to rush to her and gather her up in his arms and whisper that everything was okay into her ear.

So he did just that.

"Rey," he whispered in astonishment.

The distance between them was cleared by Ben in less than a second. Relief flooded his body like a wave as he pulled Rey in gently being mindful of her injuries. He nuzzled his nose into her hair and breathed heavily. He willed the tears not to begin again but he couldn't help it when one fell onto the top of her head and disappearing into her hair.

Ben kissed the crown of her head and rocked her slowly, "Thank God you're okay baby..." he murmured before pulling away to look at Rey who still looked as confused as ever. A concerned look dawned over Ben's face. "You- Do you remember what happened?" He asked.

Rey swallowed and tried to speak but only raspy noises erupted from her throat. Ben held up a finger as if to tell her to wait one second and dashed to the bathroom to fill a small paper cup with water. She drank the whole thing in no time and when she spoke again her voice sounded more normal.

"I-I uh... I think I got shot?" It was phrased more like a question rather than a statement but Ben only sighed in relief that her memory seemed to be okay so far.

He nodded confirming her estimate. "You lost a lot of blood in the accident but they said you're gonna be okay." Rey looked utterly terrified at her surroundings and Ben's words so he bent down and clasped her hand in his. "I'm so sorry I let this happen to you and I wasn't there to protect you. I promise from now on I'll always be there for you. I should've made sure you had a ride or at least could walk home with somebody and I-"

"Ben.."

"I'm so fucking ma-"

"Ben."

He looked up to find staring at him with no anger in her eyes. "It's not your fault..." She cupped his cheek. "You can't protect me every second of the day, Ben." 

Turning his head away he whispered in distress, "I should be able to." He felt Rey's tiny hand grasp his jaw weakly and turn his face back towards her. "Ben. I'm fine, you're fine. Yeah, this fucking sucks and my stomach feels like it's on fire," Ben grimaced at her words, "but we're gonna be okay."

A pause.

"But I do wanna know one thing..." she prompted.

"Anything."

She took a deep breath. " Why have you been acting weird ever since vacation? It's like you're bipolar or something. Every time you'd look at your phone some... horrified expression would take over your face and the soft Ben that I know would go away. What was it about?"

"I _am no_ t soft.."

"You totally are around me Mr. Big Man," Rey smiled which made the look reciprocate onto Ben's features. "Tell me, please?"

A bundle of nerves formed in Ben's abdomen before he opened up. He didn't want Rey to be dragged into the mess that was his past but it seemed like the universe would have it no other way. "It was Bazine." Ben wasn't shocked by the surprised expression on Rey's face. "She uh- she threatened me. Told me that if I didn't return she would send Snoke after me."

Neither of them said anything for a minute after; Rey needed to process everything. It _had_ been an eventful day after all.

"But.. but she was bluffing, right? Because she said all that and Snoke never showed up." She said eventually.

Ben inhaled. "No." Rey's eyebrows raised. "No, she wasn't lying because I went home today to find that bastard sitting on my couch." 

"What?" This made Rey try to sit up and she immediately deemed it a poor idea when her stomach ached in protest. "Hey hey hey," Ben reached over to gently push her back into a comfortable position. 

"I love yo-" Ben froze in terror of what he almost just said but it came so natural. "I love your _concern_ for the situation but please try not to move until the doctor says otherwise?" Rey nodded, completely oblivious to his (almost) slip-up. "So.." she began, "Snoke is here?" 

Ben nodded in response and he hated how more fear sprouted in her eyes. "Don't worry sweetheart, I'll keep him away from you. He's not gonna do anything, okay? And if he did there'd be hell to pay... it only hurt his fucking business and considering it's his pride and joy I don't see him doing much else." 

She seemed slightly more content at his words and he praised himself for making her feel even the smallest bit better about the situation. He leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, thankful she could feel every time he touched her now. 

"I'm gonna go get the doctor okay?" He said. Rey nodded in agreement and moments later Doctor Andor stood before them. He checked her vitals and said that all things considered, Rey was looking good. They were going to keep her in the hospital for a little while for observation but after that time, she should go back to living a normal life without any complications. Ben thanked the stars for that fact and made an internal promise to himself to never let something like this occur ever again. 

The doctor then asked if it was alright if the police came in and asked a few questions. The couple agreed to it and two men appeared in the doorway soon after. They didn't stay long, just asked Rey for her account on what happened and what the men looked like to which she responded with "I think the man with the gun had orange hair and was Caucasian. I can't recall what the other man looked like though..." 

The policemen said that was alright and to contact them if she could think of anything other information or encountered the man; he hadn't been caught yet. It was another thing to keep Rey up at night. Ben told them to look harder and that he would go out and look for the bastard himself if they didn't find him soon. Rey rested her hand lightly on Ben's arm to try and calm him down which actually worked to Ben's surprise. Perhaps he _was_ soft around her.

Ben only left Rey's side for the rest of the day to use the bathroom and grab a bite to eat but Rey had practically forced him to detach from her, threatening to sit up if he didn't. Not wanting her to hurt at all, he complied. 

Although the woman he truly did love would be okay, that night when Ben rested on a cot adjacent to Rey's bed which a nurse had kindly provided for him, the dark feeling of Snoke's presence hovered over him. 

And even though he had told Rey there was nothing to worry about and that Snoke wouldn't do anything harmful, Ben wasn't clueless. He knew his former boss well, he'd served under him for a while... almost _too_ long.

What Ben knew was that Snoke wasn't gone, not by a long shot, and he wouldn't be out of their lives until he won. 

It was all a game, and it seemed like Ben had already lost. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of fluff in this chapter but the bulk of angst is yet to come.... just remember my hea promise...
> 
> thanks for reading! please leave your thoughts in the comments, they never (and i mean never) go unnoticed by me!


	15. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being released from the hospital, Ben and Rey come home to yet another unexpected guest.

"You got everything, darlin'?"

"Yeah I think so," Rey nodded at the friendly nurse. 

"Alright well after spending a week here I'm sure you're more than ready to get home, so what do you say we getcha out of here?"

It was true. Rey was more than ready to get the hell out of the hospital and back into her own bed where everything was safe and comfortable. The only thing she would miss was Ben's constant presence. During her hospital stay he hadn't left her side unless he absolutely had to, those few occurrences being using the restroom or grabbing something to eat after not having anything for several hours. Despite telling him over and over that he didn't have to stay with her, she secretly loved the fact that he wouldn't leave. She wouldn't admit to wanting him to stay with her but it's what she wanted all along.

Her wound still hurt like a bitch but was healing properly. Whenever Rey would make the quietest sound of discomfort or furrow her eyebrows when a pang of pain shot through her body, Ben would be at her side in an instant and soothe her with comforting touches and words. She knew that even after they left the hospital his fussing over her wouldn't stop. 

"That sounds lovely," Rey sighed and the nurse began to wheel her out of her room and towards the elevators, Ben by her side the whole time. 

The nurse explained to her all the precautions: she had to take it extremely easy for the next couple of weeks, light walking at the most, no strenuous sexual activity, (that one made a frown appear on both of their faces) and to be pretty much on bed rest. It wasn't ideal but if Rey wanted to be back to living her normal life then she'd have to comply with the doctor's orders. 

The couple thanked the nurse and Ben got Rey settled into his car. The ride home was pretty much silent, fumes of relief surrounding them. The past week had been one of the scariest of Ben's life and that was saying something. Waiting during surgery was by far the hardest but then he had to live in constant fear that something would go wrong or he would wake up one morning to her pale and lifeless face. That thought alone almost made tears spring behind his eyes but he contained himself. Rey was fine and they were going to be fine. Everything was going to be okay. 

He hoped. 

Rey stared out of the passenger window zoning out due to the silence. After several minutes she realized that the area they were in wasn't super familiar to her.

"Uh... Ben?" He hummed. "This isn't the way to my apartment," she paused. "Where are we going?" 

"I'm taking you to my place," he said almost obviously. A confused look dawned over Rey's face and he looked over at her. "Did you really think I was gonna let you be alone after this? I want to take care of you Rey and someone should be there for you. I'm not holding you hostage but I was thinking maybe you could stay with me for... a little while..."

A grin slowly spread over Rey's face but Ben was focused on the road and didn't see it. He must've taken the silence as her hesitation or upcoming decline because he faltered, "I mean, it's only if you want. Obviously you don't have to and I can turn around and take you ba-"

"No."

He turned to glance at her.

"No, that sounds... really nice actually. Thank you Ben."

The boyish grin that she knew and loved made an appearance at her words. "But hey, if I'm overstaying my welcome or anything just let me know. I'd hate to... invade your privacy or something."

"Rey you could never stay for too long. I wouldn't even be opposed if you stayed with me permanently."

Her eyes widened slightly at that and Ben must've not realized what he had just said because his face didn't get red until a few seconds after he said it. She probably wouldn't be opposed to it either but she wanted to heal first and get everything back to normal.

"I mean, eventually. Cause you know- uh, yeah one day... maybe.." Ben fumbled with his words, not knowing how to make up for his previous bold statement. 

"Ben," she chuckled. "It's fine. I'd like to move in with you one day, just maybe not while I'm healing from a near-death situation?" Ben sighed in relief that she didn't take it too heavily and didn't say anything else as he turned his attention back to the road. He made sure to still give her a piece of him by placing his hand on her thigh as he drove. The touch sent sparks through Rey's body and she cursed the universe at the fact that she couldn't fuck Ben any time soon. She looked on the brighter side in that it would make the first time again even better. 

Only a few more minutes passed before they pulled up to the huge building Ben lived in. It still amazed her how he lived in such a place and the fact that she got to stay there with him almost made the bullet seem worth it. 

Ben parked in his personal garage and took off his sunglasses, shoving them into the compartment on the roof of the car. She didn't know how the simplest motion could look so damn sexy. Rey was about to open the door and step out but before she could Ben was already rushing to her side and hauling her into his arms.

"Ben!" Rey squealed. "Put me down you big oaf!" She slapped his chest. Her hits didn't make any difference because he only laughed and held her tighter to his chest in a bridal carry.

"I believe the doctor said no strenuous activity." Ben stated. Rey rolled her eyes, "Yes and she also said that walking was okay, now put- me- down-" A light slap was delivered to Ben's broad chest with every word. 

"Never," he whispered and pressed a kiss to her temple. Rey gave in and allowed him to carry her to the elevators and even during the ride when he just stood there. She felt weightless in his arms and wanted to remain there forever. 

In his arms she felt small, yet so safe. She could bask in that sensation for the rest of eternity. He rocked her gently as they neared the top floor where the penthouse was. Rey allowed her eyes to close as the elevator doors peeled open. She swayed against his chest to the thump of his footsteps and felt them stop when he reached the door.

All was quiet for a few moments after they entered and Rey fully expected for it to stay that way and for Ben to carry her up to bed. What she didn't expect to hear was-

"MOM?" 

Ben's voice was ridiculously high and it almost made her laugh before realizing that the head of the company she worked for might be in her presence. What was it with people breaking into his apartment? Ben really had to get his locks changed or something..

Her eyes shot open and to her horrification, Leia Organa stood proud in the kitchen staring at them. 

Rey slapped Ben's chest as a signal to put her down and to her surprise, he complied. She tried not to wince when her feet touched the ground but failed. Hopefully Ben hadn't noticed. 

She saw Ben's mother a few times at work but never had the pleasure of meeting her. Of course she had to encounter her right after getting out of the hospital and desperately needing a shower. Subtly, she attempted to smooth down her sweatshirt and leggings as if that would make her appearance better. 

"Well are you going to simply stand there or introduce me, Ben?" 

Both of their mouths hung open at the unexpected visitor but eventually Ben recovered enough to speak. "Mom, what're you doing here?" There was a beat of silence before Leia sighed. "Well, I heard what happened to Rey here since she's one of my employees but didn't realize that you two were together until Mr. Dameron informed me."

Rey's face heated.  _ She knew her name?  _

"Right, okay but why are you _ here _ ?" Ben asked again.

"Well what kind of mother and future mother-in-law would I be if I didn't visit?"

Rey and Ben sputtered at the CEO's words and Rey didn't think her face could get any more red. The smell of food filled the air and the sensation was clarified when Rey spotted a huge breakfast displayed on Ben's counter. 

Ben took notice of this at about the same time Rey did. "You didn't have to, mom."

"Of course I did! I haven't talked with you in a while Benny and plus, I wanted to meet your girl!" She clapped her hands excitedly. Rey had to hold back a laugh at the nickname. 

A heavy sigh came from Ben before he wrapped an arm around Rey's shoulders. "Well, mom this is my girlfriend, Rey. Rey, my mother." 

Rey stepped forward and out of Ben's grasp to shake Leia's hand. "It's an honor to meet you Mrs. Organa." 

"Dear please, it's Leia." Rey nodded in confirmation and stepped backwards after releasing her hand to lean into Ben's sturdy frame. "Well, I believe we have some catching up to do, so let's eat!" Leia gestured to the living area. 

The group made their way to the couch after fixing plates for themselves and Rey perched herself right next to Ben, Leia sitting on the sofa adjacent to theirs. The couple was still in a little bit of shock that Ben's mother was there so their bodies were tense. Surprisingly the conversation flowed with ease and everyone relaxed a little more. 

"So dear, tell me about yourself." She asked Rey at one point. 

Rey answered with the basics of her life, where she went to school, how she ended up in the makeup artistry industry and how her and Ben met. Leia seemed fascinated by her and Rey thanked the universe that she hadn't managed to screw up. After all, her boyfriend's mother was  _ also _ her boss.

They chatted some more about random topics and Rey found herself liking Leia very much. She was serious and still had a great sense of humor and sarcasm. It was clear where Ben got some of his stubbornness from. 

The breakfast was delicious and Rey made sure to thank Leia several times for it to which she would respond every time with "Oh darling, it's nothing! Consider it a thank you for getting my son out of his old poor habits." 

This response created more talk between Ben and his mother about his past or in other words, the deeper stuff. Realizing this, Rey excused herself to get cleaned up and head upstairs after pressing a kiss to the top of Ben's head, wanting to nuzzle his soft hair but having to refrain. There were things the two had to discuss and Rey wanted to make sure they had their privacy. 

Ben's mother stood and hugged Rey before she went upstairs since Leia was on a tight schedule and would likely have to leave before Rey made it back down. Saying goodbye, she left Ben and his mom to discuss whatever necessary.

___

Rey was sure a shower had never felt so nice in her entire life. The warm water coated her skin and it felt like she was floating somewhere underwater. She couldn't feel where the water hit her skin, all she knew was that warmth surrounded her and didn't want it to end.

Her mind was completely blank as she swayed absently in the small space. The heat made her brain foggy but not to the point of danger of passing out. She wasn't aware of much, just that she was alone and getting clean never felt better.

So after a while when a pair of hands wrapped around her waist from behind, she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Ben! God, you fucking scared me," she splashed him lightly. She wasn't able to turn around to face him since he held her to his chest but she assumed he would have a snarky smirk on his face. He rested his chin on her shoulder and swayed with her under the steaming water. 

"How's my sweetheart doing?" He pressed a kiss to her shoulder after a few minutes of silence and just enjoying each other's company. "Not bad at all. I think I forgot what it's like to be clean." She smiled. 

Ben made a dissatisfied noise and released his hold on her, "Well that simply won't do." A moment later his hands were back on her and she felt a warm cloth press to her lower back and begin to move around in slow circles. Rey closed her eyes again and let him get to work.

When he finished washing her backside, he reached around her to do her front. Rey leaned back against his hard chest, head resting on his shoulder as he began at her lower stomach and slowly worked his way up. 

The cloth moved in slow strokes up her abdomen to her breasts which he tended to very gently. When Ben's hand accidentally lightly brushed over her nipple, a moan escaped Rey's mouth and almost instantly, she began to feel a hardness poking her backside.

But Ben didn't continue the movement. Instead, he moved up and past her breasts onto her collarbone and neck. Rey frowned and halted his movements by taking his hand and bringing it back down to circle her hardened nipple. He only allowed it for a second before pulling his hand away. 

Rey groaned in frustration and turned to look him in the eye. What she didn't expect was for his eyes to be dark full of lust, like he was just barely holding himself together and stopping himself from taking her right there in the shower.

"Ben," she whined. "Please touch me..."

A sharp intake of breath from Ben occurred at her pleading but he still shook his head. "Rey, you know I-"

"Please?" She interrupted. "Will you please touch me,  _ sir _ ?"

A shiver ran through Ben's body at the name and he almost gave in. He was so close to saying fuck it and ravishing her against the tile wall but his logical side got the better of him. Rey was still hurting and if he made her wound worse he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.

"I can't sweetheart, you know that. I'm sorry but I want you to get better before we do anything."

Rey groaned in disappointment and turned around so her back was to him again. "But I miss you," she whispered, not sure if he heard it.

His strong arms enveloped her once again as he trailed kisses from her neck all the way up to her ear. "I know baby, and I miss you too but I promise I'll make it up to you in a couple of weeks okay? I also know for a fact you're still hurting and I won't get in the way of your body healing." 

It was true. Every movement she made created some kind of ache in her body. Overall she appreciated his care for her and willingness to put her before his desires. Rey turned her head slightly to peek at his face. "Promise?"

Ben nodded. "Cross my heart." 

Rey seemed satisfied at that and stood on her tip-toes to press a kiss to his lips. After a couple more minutes of rinsing off and holding each other, she ushered him out of the shower when the water began to run cold.

When the two of them were wrapped in fluffy towels, Rey's aroused sensation had calmed a little. It would be hard as hell to get by the next two weeks without any kind of action but in the end it'd all be worth it. Right?

"I'm assuming your mom has left then?" 

"Yeah," Ben said as he wrung out his hair. "She had some work to catch up on and headed back to the main office." 

"She seemed really nice. I'm glad you've gotten the chance to reconnect with her," she chose her words carefully. There was a moment of silence and Rey was worried she said the wrong thing but she was proved wrong when Ben turned and revealed his sympathetic look. "I'm sorry your parents aren't in your life. They missed out on one hell of a girl."

Rey's eyes widened at the mention of her long lost family. She didn't think she sounded like she wanted pity- "Oh Ben, I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't, I just... wanted to let you know."

Mixed emotions took over Rey. Sadness at the reminder that she'd been abandoned as a child but also happiness that she had someone like Ben in her life to keep her afloat. She nodded solemnly at his remorseful words. 

"If it makes it any better," Rey looked up at him and saw his serious features. "I consider you my family, Rey. You mean such a great deal to me and I don't even think you know how much."

Tears sprung in her eyes within seconds. One moment she was standing still in his bedroom and the next she was throwing her arms around Ben's neck, a few stray tears dampening his skin. His arms held her waist against him. "Shhh I'm sorry sweetheart. I didn't mean to upset you." 

Immediately Rey pulled away and shook her head, frantically trying to wipe the tears away. "No, no uh- these aren't sad tears I'm just... so grateful to have you and I consider you the closest thing to having a family too," she grinned up at him. Ben reciprocated the beaming smile and kissed her forehead. 

Those three words crept up Rey's throat preparing to spill but she held back. It felt like the wrong time and plus, what would happen if he didn't feel the same? It was better to keep them locked away where no harm could be done until she was sure he would say it back. Because if he didn't and then left her, she didn't think she could ever recover.

Rey pulled back and sighed. "Anyways, I think I'm gonna go for a short walk. Just to clear my head and get some fresh air."

"Okay. How about when you get back I'll have some nice cool drinks for us and we can curl up on the couch and watch whatever cheesy movie you'd like?"

A grin spread across Rey's face. "I'd love nothing more," she reached up to kiss him one last time before getting dressed and heading out.

___

The warm August hair winded Rey's hair as she walked. She moved slower due to her injuries but was still tasked with getting a little exercise. A million things crossed her mind, mostly about Ben. General things like how in the hell she got so lucky or whether or not he could be her future.

The thought made her body tingle with excitement because she never had a relationship last this long or be so serious. Not to mention she hadn't ever been in love before and well... she was now. 

After about twenty minutes of walking, Rey ended up in front of her workplace. There were only a couple of cars in the parking lot so she assumed there wasn't much going on. She didn't know why-- maybe she was just bored-- but she had an urge to go inside and see what it was like when there weren't a million people there for a show or photoshoot. 

She  _ was _ an employee after all so she wasn't technically breaking any rules. 

The interior was dim and quiet since only a few people were there. Rey's footsteps echoed lightly across the vast area and she eventually led herself to the runway area. She walked up to the lifted area and reminisced about the first night she met Ben. Being up on the stage in front of everyone, feeling like she was on top of the world. 

Being with Ben gave her that feeling but  _ oh _ , what it would feel like to have that for an occupation as well. 

Standing on the runway in the dim light, Rey knew if an offer were to come through for her to model again she would take it in a second. It wasn't that she didn't love makeup, she did, but it didn't give her a rush. 

Rey vowed earlier in life not to become a model due to the ideal bitchiness of them but she would never be like that. She wouldn't try and lose weight just to fit into a size double zero or have surgery to get a bigger ass. She could revolutionize and change the standards for models. Because to her, modeling wasn't about showing off your body in the form of tight clothes. It was being yourself and expressing that through clothes and confidence. It was being a leader and role model and that's all Rey wanted to be. 

Reality came back to Rey in a flash and she physically shook it off. She sighed and took in the sight of the small dark arena once more before turning around to head back home where Ben was waiting for her. 

Ah, there was that feeling again.

___

Behind the curtain, Leia Organa stood having witnessed the entire scene.

Perhaps she could make a few calls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww we love queen leia
> 
> i also apologize for the smut denial but trust me.... you'll be in for a treat in a couple of chapters.... if you know what i mean...
> 
> ANYWAYS
> 
> thanks for reading! feel free to comment because i loveee reading all of ur thoughts on my work!!! 
> 
> happy holidays to all !!!!!
> 
> stay safe !!! <333


	16. It Always Comes Back to Haunt You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As if a gunshot wasn't enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i’m so sorry for the delay. i sound like a broken record at this point but i’ve been so busy with school and i just don’t have the time to get updates out every week. i promise i’m doing my best though and will not abandon any of my stories. 
> 
> enjoy!

Growing up, Rey never had anyone to look after her. When she was sick she would lay low and sleep until it passed with no antibiotics to aid her. When she was sad or in a bad mental state she rode through it alone.

So when she met Ben and he was always there to help, it was completely new to her. The next week or so was the most boring of Rey's life since she was on strict bed rest orders. But the fact that Ben was there through it all and spent time with her made it worth it. Additionally, staying at his huge penthouse made it slightly better.

Ben hovered over her like a hawk, telling her to get back into bed if he ever saw her out of it. He tended to her needs and cared for her in a way no one ever had. Sometimes she found herself growing annoyed with how stern he was about her getting rest but then she reminded herself that he simply wanted her better. Plus it was better than him completely neglecting her.

There was one time when Rey wanted to surprise Ben by cooking a nice dinner for him to come home to after a long day of work. She'd secretly been looking up recipes and making sure she had all the ingredients so she could make him something better than the occasional spaghetti dinner. She was feeling slightly better and bobbed her head to the music as she made what she hoped would be the best thing she ever cooked.

After all, if this couldn't top ramen then she didn't know what could. The food and table looked so elegant and she was so proud to be able to say that she did that. Even though it was the supposed role of a woman to be in the kitchen (which Rey never believed to be true) she felt incredibly useful and she hoped Ben would appreciate it too. Just after she put the finishing touches on her masterpiece she heard the door signaling Ben's arrival. She squealed to herself and positioned herself in the kitchen so she seductively leaned against the table somehow.

Rey was hoping that as soon as he saw her he would walk up to her and cup her face as he kissed her passionately. She'd order him to stop before the food got cold and they'd enjoy a fancy dinner together just like she wanted.

That wasn't what happened.

As soon as he entered the kitchen he was startled to see Rey. When his eyes focused on her his eyes narrowed and when he glanced next to her at the set table they were practically crescents. A bubbling feeling of doubt crept into Rey and it burst when Ben said lowly, "Please tell me you catered."

The smile that gleamed on her face immediately fell. "No I— I made this for you... us."

He stepped forward. "Rey, how many times do I have to tell you? You're supposed to be _resting._ Not cooking five-course meals, _resting._ It's doctor's orders." His tone was stern.

Rey threw her hands up, "So I can't do something nice for you? Is that what's happening?"

"Not when you're healing from a _fucking gunshot wound!"_

"Okay whatever, I'm done." Rey shook her head in surrender as she pushed herself away from the table and out of the extravagant kitchen. She made sure to brush against his shoulder on the way out.

Ben found her in the bedroom holding back tears and he knew he'd fucked up. He apologized, kissed, and reassured her that he very much appreciated the gesture but wanted her to get better.

Still not wanting to have sex due to the possible further injuries it may emancipate from Rey, he fingered her and they fell asleep together, limbs tangled. The food went completely cold.

Now a week later Rey was feeling a little better but not enough for Ben's liking to fuck her yet. She begged him every day and witnessed his aroused self but he never gave in. Deep down she appreciated it but overall she just wanted him.

Rey woke up that morning and reached out absently to the other side of the bed searching for a warm and large body but only came in contact with the cold sheets.

_Right. He has work._

She sighed disappointed that she wasn't able to wake up next to Ben but got herself moving so she'd be a little more presentable when he arrived home.

It was funny how when she thought of "home" she thought of the penthouse and being with Ben. Post-hospitalization had Rey staying with Ben and she couldn't say she didn't favor it. She had a lot of her clothes there and most of her belongings. It truly felt like home to her.

And she didn't remember the last time she had that feeling.

The day began like any other. Rey made herself a small breakfast and ran through a quick workout routine afterward. She took a shower, dressed in comfy clothes, and spent most of the day on the couch.

Somehow she was exhausted from being on bed rest all week and she just wanted to go out again and do the things she used to before the bullet. She felt bad that Ben practically had to nurse her and look after her but she always assured him she was okay.

It was a few hours from the time Ben was due to arrive home when there was a knock at the door. Automatically she assumed it was either a package or just Ben messing with her.

Groaning at her tiredness, she stood and padded her way to the front door.

Rey didn't know what happened. Because one second she was turning the handle to pull open the glass door and the next, she was back inside the penthouse being pushed up against the wall with a small knife by her throat threatening to cut.

Eventually, her eyes focused on the piercing green ones peering back at her only inches away. She recognized the man immediately.

He was the man from the alley. The one who shot and killed the other man. The one responsible for her bullet. She realized a moment later that he was also at the party she attended when she and Ben were still separated. He had touched her and Ben saved the day.

It was easy for Rey to decide that she hated him.

"At last," the man seethed.

Rey didn't dare move in fear that the knife would slit her skin open which was why she was careful when she spoke. "What was- ah, your name again? Tux... bucks..."

" _Hux."_ He clarified. "And I would be careful. Being a little brat right now will only make things worse. Although I don't know how the things we have planned for you could get much worse."

Her body began to shake violently and she tried to make it stop but couldn't. The fear in her eyes was definitely noticeable and there was no hiding it now.

" _We?"_

"Yes, darling. The boss and I have great plans for you, little one."

"B-boss?" Rey stuttered still fearful of the weapon against her.

The man clicked his tongue. "So many questions. You may know him as Kylo's former boss." Rey's eyes widened. "Yes, that's right dear. I've worked under him this whole time, watching you and him. The way he fought for you at that party only to have you walk away... I was so... _proud._ But then Snoke confirmed you were together and well that just isn't okay. So here we are," he smiled sinisterly.

Rey's teeth were gritted so tight she was sure one would chip. The fear bubbled up inside her and if it weren't for the knife threatening to cut her open she would have exploded right then.

"So what. You had to go and fucking shoot a man _and_ me?"

Hux cocked his head to the side. "To be fair that wasn't part of the plan. It was just a simple accident. What a shame though that it didn't kill you. It would have stopped me from being here." A shudder ran through Rey at his deathly words as she came to the realization he didn't come here to talk or negotiate.

He came here to take you. And then kill you.

"Why..." She whimpered so lowly she wasn't sure he heard.

Hux moved so his lips hovered right above her ear. "Because darling, you're in the way of everything. You're stopping him from doing his job back in California. Snoke has been expecting Kylo Ren's return for some time now only to realize it was you who is stopping him from doing so." He moved closer, his grip loosening slightly. "And that sweetheart is simply not okay with any of us."

Fucking Snoke. Rey had a feeling his games weren't over and it seemed like he'd do anything to get Ben back to L.A. Even if it meant taking her life.

"I do believe the boss made a little visit to Kylo but Snoke said it didn't go well. So he sent me here to retrieve you. You'll meet him soon enough but won't talk much before he kills you. And then, Ren will come back with us since he will have nothing in this city anymore. Don't you see darling? It was all part of the plan. I've been watching you two forever and now things are being set into stone. It's exciting if I do say so myself..."

His grip on her wasn't as strong before and she was running out of time. He was mumbling on about something he witnessed one time and before he could speak another sentence, Rey kicked one foot behind her aiming for his--

"AH!"

Yep, she hit the jackpot.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

Rey sprinted away from the front of the penthouse and near the kitchen in hopes of retrieving a knife of her own. One that was much, much bigger. She was almost there, it was just around the corner, and then-

_Slam_

Rey didn't know much, but everything hurt. It felt like her body had been tossed around the back of a semi and when she realized she was lying on a heap on the hard floor, she guessed it was something like that. Hux caught up to her and slammed her body into the wall closest to the oven, surely leaving a few bruises.

Her head was spinning and pounding at the time and the area where her gunshot wound ached. Her eyelids fluttered open and closed so she barely registered when Hux kneeled in front of her grabbed her by the hair, forcing her to look up at him. His teeth were gritted together and he spewed, "Naive little girl... you really think you can outrun me? No. Fight all you want but it'll just make your torture worse."

Rey struggled in his grip; one arm was still wound in her air while the other held her wrists together so tight she thought she might be losing blood flow in her arms. She would fight as hard as she could; she didn't come this far with Ben only to lose him now. Her heart ached for everything her presence had put him through. If she were never in his life then none of this would have happened. He would be off with some other girl who could make him laugh without also crying about her abandonment issues and getting hurt every other day.

To put it plainly, he deserved better. Almost anyone could be better than her.

"Now then, we should be going. Wouldn't want the prize to arrive before you're gone."

Her heart sank at the realization. There wasn't the chance that Ben would come home to save her. It was mid-day and would be out for at least another three hours minimum. She closed her eyes and barely felt the tear that slipped down her cheek.

"Aw, now now darling there's no need to cry. It'll all be over soon and there will be plenty of time for that later," Hux mimicked.

Rey peeled her eyes open and gave him the deathliest glare to ever exist. If looks could kill Hux would be a pool of acid by now. "I hate you," she spat in his face still struggling in his hold on her hair.

Hux only smirked. "I can live with that. Many people feel the same way about me as you do. I'm plenty used to it."

Rey flailed her legs the best she could since her wrists were bound but she couldn't escape. Hux only gripped her tighter making her wince in pain. She could feel a nasty bruise forming somewhere on her head and several other parts of her body. Her wound ached and would likely take more time to heal now.

She saw a vision of Ben arriving home calling her name. He'd grow worried after she didn't respond for the second time and begin searching the house. He'd call her phone only to find it resting on the couch and knew something was terribly wrong. Then he'd call the police and demand they send out a search party even though it had only been a few hours since he arrived home. They wouldn't find her at first but after about a month Ben would get a call and learn that Rey's remains were found and she was dead. And he'd never love again.

She wanted to sob at the thought that the image would likely come true. She tried to kick Hux anywhere but it was to no avail. Her body was growing tired and she just wanted everything to stop.

"You know I was originally going to let you walk out of here but seeing the scene your making, I'll just have to put you under." He reached behind him to grab a large pan that sat on the kitchen counter.

The taste of blood was faint in her mouth when she uttered, "You... you're gonna pay for this. Even if I don't get anything out of it. _He's_ gonna come for you. He's gonna hunt you down and kill you for this." Hux raised an eyebrow, not amused. "It's gonna catch up to you. It always comes back to haunt you and when I'm gone, I will too."

A sinister smile formed on Hux's face as he leaned in so their faces were mere inches apart. The man was pure evil but his facial expression showed it all. Just before he swung his arm back to strike her on the side of the head he murmured:

"May it, then."

Rey squeezed her eyes shut and moments later she heard a thud followed by a groan. Her mind raced as she realized she didn't feel any pain and she was pretty sure she was still conscious. Right?

In the distance, she kept hearing the pounding noise over and over. Her eyes moved rapidly under her lids and finally, they snapped open. She was surprised to see Hux was no longer in front of her and the pan just sat in his place.

The noise still occurred and when she turned her head she saw the sight she thought she'd never see again.

Ben was on top of Hux punching him. Repeatedly. A grunt escaped his throat with every hit.

Rey sat there dumbfounded before she commanded herself to move and crawl over to them. She reached Ben and hesitantly put a shaking hand on his shoulder. It seemed he was trembling too.

"Ben?" She sounded broken.

The beating stopped and Rey glanced at Hux's body to see his face red and bloody. She couldn't bring herself to care. Ben still sat completely still. He hadn't even looked at her yet, his breaths heavy and uneven. Finally, he spoke, "Go call 911, Rey."

"But-"

"Rey." He turned to look at her, remorse in his eyes. "Go, now."

Nodding, Rey stood on shaking legs and slowly made her way into the living room where her phone was. She pressed the phone to her ear and tried to catch her breath but it was hard to get under control.

Glancing over at Ben, he still sat in front of Hux but he was bent over with his hands covering his face, shoulders shaking every few seconds.

The line stopped ringing then.

_"911 what's your emergency?"_

**_____ **

The car ride home was silent for the most part. The only sounds were the whir of the air conditioning and the occasional squeak of leather as Ben's hand flexed around the steering wheel.

The police had come and Ben and Rey each gave their statements. Fortunately, Ben had a few security cameras inside his penthouse that he checked only if there was some kind of criminal suspicion and one outside his door. Hux was caught red-handed and the mention of Snoke only led the cops right to Ben's old boss. There was enough evidence to arrest him which would likely be happening soon.

It was great news. But Ben didn't seem joyful in the slightest about it.

Rey said she was fine but Ben insisted on taking her to the emergency room to make sure there wasn't anything seriously wrong with her. Other than some bad bruising she would be okay. A splotch of purple was already present on one side of her forehead and it hurt like a bitch. Not worse than a gunshot though.

They pulled into the parking garage and Rey followed Ben inside without one word. She couldn't say she was a little upset he wasn't even speaking to her since all she wanted was to curl up in his arms but she decided he would come to her when he was ready.

A few moments after they kicked their shoes off just inside his penthouse, he spoke quietly, "I'm gonna go take a shower." Rey only nodded as he turned to head upstairs.

She sighed and went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. After all, she never got to eat lunch.

Sitting at the table barely focusing on her food, she reminisced over everything that occurred in the past several hours. It made her lose her appetite immediately. She washed the dishes trying to clear her mind but it didn't work. Perhaps she just had to let it overcome her for a little while.

After about an hour when Ben hadn't come back down she decided to go check on him.

She padded her way upstairs and when she was about a hallway away she was concerned to hear the shower still running. How long had he been in there?

When she entered the gorgeous and modern bathroom she saw his blurred form on the other side of the glass. He was still, not moving.

After closing the door quietly Rey began to strip herself of her clothing. She winced when her hand accidentally brushed against a sensitive spot on her hip. She made her way to the shower and when she pulled back the curtain her heart broke.

Ben stood with his eyes shut directly under the water, shivering.

Rey stepped in and as soon as she touched his back she gasped. "Jesus Ben, it's freezing!" She immediately reached around him to turn the knob so the hot water would begin flowing.

"Hey," she turned him around and his hooded eyes peeled open. "What's wrong baby? Talk to me please..."

Ben's low voice startled her slightly since she didn't really expect him to say anything. "What's wrong? What's wrong is I let you get hurt. Again." Rey shook her head. "All of this is because of me. You've only ever hurt because of me. I should have done something, I should've made sure Snoke would stay away because now-" He choked back a sob. "Now he's hurt you again and that's worse than anything he could ever do to me."

The water was warming now.

"Ben it's not your fault. None of it is. You did what was best for yourself and Snoke didn't see it that way. But he's gone now okay? He can't hurt us or anyone else ever again."

He nodded idly but it was easy to tell he wasn't okay yet. His breaths were ragged and his eyes were bloodshot. It wasn't hard to tell he'd been crying if not sobbing while she was downstairs.

"Come here," Rey whispered. She stepped forward to pull his body into hers and wrapped her arms around his neck holding him close. He was still for a few seconds but soon Rey felt his large hands wrap around her bare waist.

Rey was the one who had been physically hurt in this event and yet it seemed like Ben was more affected by it than she was. If anything she wished she could take some of his pain. That's what people did for those they loved.

His face was burrowed in the safety of her neck and her skin vibrated when he said:

"I told you after this that I was always gonna be here for you." His finger lightly circled the gunshot scar. "And I wasn't. I wasn't here."

Rey pulled back and cupped his face. "Ben you were. If it weren't for you I would be in some underground chamber waiting to be executed. You saved me okay? You were there."

All was silent for several minutes and they just held each other. It was well needed.

Ben kissed her neck lightly and murmured words Rey couldn't quite make out. The water from the showerhead flowed down their bodies and between them, warming them just as much as their bodies did each other. He held onto her like she'd disappear in a second if he let go. More tears threatened to spill from his eyes but he held them back not wanting to show too much emotion; he always hated being vulnerable. After several more minutes of holding her though, he couldn't stop the few that escaped and flowed down his cheek. He hoped they blended in with water drops from the shower.

"I do have to ask..." Rey broke the silence eventually. "Why were you home so early? I was sure I was dead since you weren't supposed to be home until at least 5?"

He sighed and mumbled into her neck, "I decided to come back for lunch... for some reason, I just felt the strong urge to come and visit you. I don't know, maybe it was the universe's way of letting me know you needed help." He chuckled lightly but there wasn't much humor in it that Rey could detect.

"I'm glad you did," she whispered against his chest.

"I am too."

"Although it sucks now that I won't be able to perform certain... strenuous activities for an even longer time now."

Ben pulled away and brushed a wet strand of hair away from her face. "It'll be worth it. As long as you're okay in the end I can wait, no problem. I would wait forever for you, Rey."

Butterflies spawned in her stomach. No one had ever said such words to her before. Forever was never a strong word in her vocabulary when it came to dating but regardless she found herself saying:

"I'd wait forever for you too Ben."

Maybe this was truly forever.

A moment later Ben grabbed an unused washcloth and soaked it in water before lathering it with soap. He motioned for her to turn around and when she did he began to run the cloth up and down her back, cleaning her. He rubbed in deep circles so it felt more like a massage.

He touched every inch of skin he could and reached around her to clean the valley between her breasts. He trailed down to her stomach and rubbed the soap in sensually. Rey allowed her eyes to flutter shut as she leaned her head back onto Ben's shoulder.

Out of nowhere, a single finger traced her nipple in a circle which provoked a groan from Rey.

"Shhh," Ben said, his lips hovering right above her ear. "Don't make this harder than it needs to be, little one."

"This is so difficult," Rey complained. "I just want you... haven't had you in so long..."

His entire hand massaged one breast now. "I know, I know but we need you to get better. That's all that matters. I promise when your body is ready for me I won't let you down." Rey's breathing picked up and was now coming in heavier pants. "I'll fucking _ruin_ you, don't you forget it, baby." He whispered in her ear making her physically shudder.

She was so fucking turned on by him it hurt knowing nothing was going to happen.

But then again...

A devilish smirk formed upon her face and she still wore it when she turned under the water to face him. "But what if I ruin you first?" One of Ben's brows raised prompting her to continue. But she didn't say anything else, just moved to get on her knees.

At this, a serious look dawned across his face. "Rey- you don't... we don't have to if you're not ready."

"I'm ready Ben. This won't break me."

His lips parted in awe. How did he find someone so perfect?

Her small hand came up and began to stroke his hard cock. "I'm gonna use my mouth on you. And then I want you to fuck it. I need you inside of me somehow."

A moan slipped from Ben as he threw his head back, already basking in the pleasure. Without another word, Rey took the head in her mouth and swirled her tongue around its perimeter.

"F-Fuck Rey, that's so good already."

She'd never tire of how he tasted, it was better than anything else. Slowly she made her way further up his cock until she was bobbing her head back and forth, taking all of him. She sucked him harder every time he made a sound that earned her praise.

The sounds of pleasure from Ben echoed off the bathroom walls and it was pure music to her ears. Taking her mouth off him, she trailed the tip of her tongue from the base to the head slowly which drove him crazy.

"Rey please don't stop that's so good... so so good." She didn't waste another moment before taking him in her mouth again. This time he thrust his hips lightly so he went deeper inside her mouth. Determined to take all of him, she pushed herself to the brink so he hit the back of her throat with every thrust. Her nose came in contact with his hairs at the base every second.

Ben began to take control now, pushing himself so deep in her that she gagged. "That's it baby, take all of it. I know you can. Take all of me in your pretty little mouth. Such a pretty one you have too... such a pretty little hole for me to use and fuck." He thrust harder so she choked every time his dick hit the back of her throat. She loved how full she felt of him and groaned on his cock.

Rey squeezed her thighs together to try and relieve some of the tension in her core. Ben noticed. "Are you turned on baby? Hm? If I reached my hand between your legs would you be soaked for me? Yeah, I bet you would be." She whimpered in response.

"Such a precious little thing... so full of my cock she can't even speak one word." Another moan.

His hand came down to rest on her head, bouncing her on and off his length. She could tell he was close and bobbed her head faster. "Shit baby, you're gonna make me cum so hard... are you ready? You're gonna finish me off and take all my seed." A moan from Rey's throat sounded in agreement. "That's it... you'll do it won't you baby? You'll swallow every bit of my cum that goes into the gorgeous little mouth. Ahh you will, I know you will because you're such a good girl. Just like that, suck me harder now little one. Make your daddy come."

He didn't even register the name he had called himself but Rey must've liked it because she continued to suck him hard to the point where he was on the edge. "Yes Rey, yes yes yesss..." All at once, his orgasm hit him like a truck and he spilled his load down her throat. She swallowed every drop eagerly and his eyes rolled back into his head at the sight and sensation.

"Fuck that was so hot." Rey lapped at him a few more times before he pulled her off him. "Sensitive, sweetheart." She murmured an apology before he helped her up.

She blinked rapidly to bring herself back to earth. "Was that okay?" Ben asked as one thumb ran across her bottom lip. It moved to the seam of her lips and Rey kissed the pad of his finger in response. "It was perfect." She smiled timidly.

He returned the grin and finished washing his body as Rey washed her hair. When they were finished Ben turned off the shower and grabbed a fluffy towel to wrap Rey in. She shivered at the chilly sensation of just getting out of a hot shower but Ben got her dressed in one of his oversized hoodies soon enough. She chose to forgo panties so she just began her night routine.

After brushing her teeth and doing a few skincare things, she exited the bathroom to join Ben in bed. He was already there leaning against the headboard reading something on his iPad. He looked incredibly sexy with his reading glasses on and it made Rey want to reenact the shower scene all over again.

She slid in beside him and sighed contently at the feeling of the cold sheets against her smooth legs. Ben smirked and wrapped one arm around her as she rested her head on his chest. He wore one of his plain white tees and yet she thought that there were few other things he looked better in. He kissed the top of her head and continued reading as Rey began to drift out of consciousness. The last thing she sensed before falling into a deep slumber was Ben turning off the lamp beside the bed and holding her tighter against him.

That night she dreamed of the future. Ben wasn't absent in any of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos are very much appreciated and be sure to subscribe to be notified when I update again!
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment, they never go unnoticed by me!


	17. New Opportunities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey has a run in with Leia and later that night Ben finally makes up for lost time and... "ruins" her like he promised. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (CW: Bondage, explicit sexual content
> 
> ...
> 
> if these aren't for you then please don't read this chapter or stop when you reach the line "After that, all was silent except for her breathing before his lust-filled voice sounded with one single order" and resume at "Rey smiled weakly and sighed tiredly."... you have been warned. this chapter will likely be the most explicit in the entire story)
> 
> Here's the other side of my writing which I don't showcase very often because IF I'M BEING TOTALLY HONEST... I don't enjoy writing smut that much but hey who knows maybe after this fun and adventurous chapter that'll change. 
> 
> Enjoy, friends.

The autumn air filled Rey's lungs as she walked down the street towards her favorite cafe.  Her heels clicked against the pavement and her head was held high. 

It had been weeks since her run in with Hux and she and Ben had been perfect ever since. Snoke was arrested which put a blanket of comfort over their lives. Ben hadn't heard from Bazine since the messages and they were finally able to begin moving on and into a new chapter of their relationship together. All Rey wanted to do was forget.

Most of Rey's bruising was gone and she suspected she and Ben would resume their sexual activities soon. He was still set on making sure she wasn't hurting at all before they did so and she couldn't say she didn't respect him for it. She'd never felt so acknowledged and _ heard _ before by anyone in her life. 

It wasn't official but Rey basically lived at Ben's house. She was there almost every day and night of the week and a ton of her belongings were there as well. She enjoyed sleeping beside him every night and coming home to him; this was something she wanted to continue. Never in her life had she been so invested in a relationship and felt like the other party was too. She thanked God for Ben every day and every night. 

Her life was a roller coaster of many low points and few peaks but Rey was delighted to be able to say that she was at the highest point in her life. Sure, the recent months had been tough with interferences from Snoke but all that was taken care of now and she didn't have to worry anymore. 

Usually there was always something Rey had to dread; something coming up or just something about her life that sucked. But for the first time in her entire life, Rey walked down the street with her head held higher than ever with nothing to drag her down. 

Rey had just got off work and was stopping by Maz's for a quick cup of coffee. She was a regular there and loved Maz to death; she was the closest thing to family Rey had for the longest time since before meeting Ben. When anything ever went wrong at all, Maz was there when no one else was and Rey deeply appreciated the old women for it.

The line was decently long since the cafe was a popular spot in that particular area of the city but Rey didn't mind waiting. It was a nice day and there was no rush for her to be anywhere else. There were a couple more people in front of her until she'd reach the register when she heard her name called by a familiar voice.

"Rey?"

She turned her head to see Leia Organa in line behind her. 

"Ms. Orga- I mean Leia... it's so good to see you!" Rey leaned down to give the woman a short hug. Leia patted her back and Rey smiled at the fact that Ben's mother liked her so much.

"Likewise dear! You are actually just the person I wanted to see!" 

"Oh?" Rey rose a brow.

"Yeah, just some work talk."

Rey's eyes widened at that and a wave of dread washed over her. "Oh god I'm not... I'm not  _ fired _ am I?"

Leia smiled and let out a short chuckle. "No dear, nothing like that. What do you say we order then we'll sit and chat for a little bit?" Rey nodded and stepped up to the counter to order. Just as she reached into her purse for cash when the cashier spoke her total, Leia stepped up from behind her.

"Actually we'll be paying together." Lips parting, Rey shook her head, "Oh no, Leia you don't have to-"

"Nonsense," pushed the woman. "I insist."

Rey didn't argue with the CEO any further.

The two waited for their drinks and when they were called, they made their way to a small table with two chairs facing each other. Rey still wanted to impress the woman since she was her boss and her boyfriend's mother so she waited for her to begin the conversation. 

"So, how's my son? I assume you're keeping him in check."

A laugh escaped Rey. "Most of the time, yes. I do have to say though, we've been a lot more relaxed since Snoke's arrest. Before, it was always weighing on us even if we were having the time of our lives together it was still there, you know? So I don't know, it feels like we can finally have a relationship that's rid of all of his past issues and the people who were in it so I'm really glad about that."

Leia nodded and her expression turned remorseful. "I am sorry that you two had to go through that... thankfully that bastard is locked up and won't hurt another innocent soul ever again."

Rey nodded and sipped her drink. The thought of Snoke and his crew made her sick and she wanted nothing more than to forget about the experience completely. "I just wish he never would have gotten involved with the First Order in the first place."

A sigh left Leia and she shook her head. "I tried my best to keep him from falling in that direction but after his father's death he was just so angry..."

"His father?" Ben had never mentioned anything about his dad and Rey didn't want to ask until they were more comfortable together but frankly she had forgotten to ask with everything going on.

"Yes, his father and my ex-husband Han. They never had a great relationship and got into one of their huge fights the night before he died in a car wreck the next day. I don't think Ben ever forgave himself which pushed him into a dark place. I tried to help him but there wasn't much I could do." Leia paused to refrain a shuddering breath as Rey comprehended everything Leia told her. "I'm just thankful enough that he found his way home... and to you."

Rey blinked back tears at the sound of things Ben had been through. Rey never knew her parents but she couldn't imagine losing one right after a bad interaction with them. "He- he never told me about him..."

Leia nodded. "It's probably the thing he had the most trouble opening up about." This made sense. Ben rarely opened up about anything deep so it wasn't a surprise that he never said anything.

"I'm so sorry for your loss," Rey said seriously and looked the CEO in the eye. 

"Thank you dear, but it was a long time ago. We're getting by now just fine," she smiled. "And Ben's doing much better now that he has you in his life." 

Rey smiled and looked down at the table suddenly focused on the marble pattern. She knew so much more about Ben now and how he was more similar to her than she thought. Her heart hurt for him and all she wanted was to run and jump into his arms to pepper kisses all over his face. Perhaps his father's death was the reason he was so protective over her at times. 

"Anyways," Leia spoke in a piped up voice. "Enough of that sad stuff, let's get down to business." Rey immediately sat up straighter and fixed her posture. She had no idea what Leia was going to discuss with her but it sounded semi-serious. 

"I'd like to offer you a job."

Rey's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "A job? No offense Leia, but what's wrong with my current one?"

"Oh, nothing dear. You're very good at what you do but I'm a great observer and would love to give you another option."

Crossing her arms, Rey sat back in her chair. "Alright... so where would I be doing makeup then?"

A small smile formed across Leia's face as she sat forward with her hands folded on the table. "Not makeup darling,  _ modeling. _ "

Rey's first instinct was to believe it was a joke so she burst out laughing. She tried to contain herself but couldn't. Because who in the world would ever want her for a model? She wasn't bitchy like they all were and that wasn't a person Rey wanted to become. "Are you-  _ are you serious _ ?" Rey caught her breath. When she looked at the CEO's face she deemed that it was indeed not a joke. She had a feeling Leia didn't say things that were false often.

"Very," she said. "The job is located at one of RESISTANCE's other locations in New York City. The company will take care of your moving costs and help you get settled in. Of course I want to give you as much time as possible to decide but the clock is ticking. I'll need to know your answer by a week from today, no later."

If her eyeballs hadn't popped out of her sockets yet it was a miracle. Rey probably looked like a fish with her jaw hanging wide open and unable to form any words out of the million that were spiraling in her brain. 

"B-but why? Why me? What made you think that out of all people I could model full time?" Rey shook her head in denial. "I just don't think I'd be right for the job, ma'am.'" She said looking at her feet.

"Rey," Leia leaned forward forcing Rey to look back up at the woman. "I saw your walk the night you were put on the spot and you were great. You probably didn't know but tabloids talked about you forever wondering who the mysterious model was they had never seen before. And like I mentioned before, I'm great at studying people and I believe that there is something you want more from life. So why not? Move to a new city and experience what it's like to be up on that stage more often."

Leia wasn't completely wrong in that aspect. If there's anything she knew it was that she could do something greater with her career. Rey couldn't deny that she loved walking the runway either. Images flashed through her head of what a possible future could look like if she accepted Leia's offer. The fact that she'd feel on top of the world many nights had her hooked. But there was still a problem... a large one.

"What about Ben?"

Sitting back in her chair, Leia pursed her lips. "Ask him to come with you. I've seen the way my son looks at you and I can see no one before you has ever received that special gaze. I'm sure he'll be happy for you and if he isn't then he's not the son I raised him to be."

Rey smiled. Surely Ben would be happy for her. She decided in her head not to tell him until she was closer to making up her mind.

"Think about it, Rey." Leia reached forward to take Rey's hands in hers. "Think about your future and what you really want. If you decide not to I completely no understand and there will be no hard feelings. Just let me know alright? One week."

Rey nodded and watched as Leia grabbed her purse. The women hugged one last time before the CEO left the cafe. 

It felt unreal. Rey..  _ modeling _ ? She couldn't imagine it. And yet the thought that it could be real  _ thrilled _ her. It would probably make her so much happier than her current job and perhaps she could truly begin living a little more rather than simply surviving.

Standing there idly for several minutes, mind racing, she pulled out her phone and dialed the one person she needed to be around right now. The line rang until it connected and the male voice spoke.

"Hello?"

"Hey buddy, wanna go out tonight? I could really use a few drinks and some dancing if you're down."

A night out was just what Rey needed to calm her nerves about the offer and spend some time with her best friend. Of course she wanted to be around Ben but that would make her want to tell him and she didn't want to do that until she was almost sure of her decision. 

"Hell yeah! I've been bored as hell all day so I'm so glad you called." Poe's voice was chirpy on the other end. Rey smiled in accomplishment and began to pack up her stuff to head home and pick out what to wear. "Any particular reason you wanna go? Is everything okay with you and camera boy?"

Rey rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, everything is fine between me and Ben. I'm just in the mood. We going or not?"

"Yes, yes we are. Would you like the details since you're so interested?" She smirked.

"No no, you don't need to spare me them. As much as I love that you've found your person I don't need to know what you do at night." Rey chuckled. "I'll pick you up tonight, sound good?"

Rey agreed and bid him farewell before exiting the shop to begin the short walk home. She zoned out focusing on the sidewalk most of the way; she couldn't take her mind off the job. She wondered if she was even cut out to be a model... Leia seemed to think so but she was only one person. What would everyone else think? 

When Ben's building was in sight she shook her nerves off her and made her way up to the penthouse. It was early evening which meant Ben was due to arrive home any time if he wasn't there already. When Rey unlocked the front door and called his name several times there was no answer. She assumed he was still at work and went into the kitchen for something quick to eat.

Before she could open the fridge though, her eyes were drawn to something out of place on the counter. Upon further inspection she saw it was a note Ben left for her.

_ Sweetheart, _

_ Came home for lunch and you weren't here so I assumed you're at work. I'll be stuck at a shoot until later tonight so I won't see you until then. If you need anything shoot me a text, see you tonight. _

_ XX _

_ Ben _

Rey couldn't help but smile at words. She pulled out her phone and texted him to let him know she'd be out with Poe so she may not be home when he arrived. He responded almost immediately telling her to be safe and stick with Poe at all times. She expected nothing less from him and sent him a kissy emoji before heading upstairs to dig through her wardrobe for something to wear. 

She never had much to choose from but being with Ben meant new clothes. Although she insisted against it, whenever he spotted something he thought she may look good in, he bought it and never thought twice about it. She was sure to thank him every time with a kiss or more depending on her mood.

After a solid fifteen minutes, Rey finally decided on a black leather skirt with a white tank-top which covered her stomach; she didn't want men crawling all over her all night so she went with something decently modest. 

Checking the time, Rey had about two hours before Poe would pick her up so she began her routine. She put on music and applied her makeup carefully with skill, praising herself over her perfect eyeliner wing. To top everything off she went with a bold red lip. Looking over the look once more and deciding it was good, she moved on to her hair. She curled it so it fell at her shoulders in beachy waves. 

Moving to her body-length mirror, she looked over her appearance and was pleased. As she admired herself, her phone chimed. A notification popped up with a text from Poe saying he was here and outside waiting.

She slipped her low heels on, grabbed her clutch, and headed to the elevator. 

As soon as she slid into the passenger seat of Poe's car, he whistled.

"Damn Reyrey you look great, as always"

Rey smiled. "Always a charmer. And  _ Reyrey _ ?"

Poe shrugged as she shifted gears and pulled onto the dimly lit road. "I don't know, just trying out a new nickname."

"Okay... then I'll call you..." Rey hummed in deep thought. "Poebear!"

He turned to her briefly with a disgusted look on his face. "Girl I love you,  _ but no _ ."

The rest of the car ride was spent with Rey and Poe chatting about their lives and joking as best friends did. Rey was ready to dance and have a couple of drinks before heading back home to Ben. 

Poe pulled up to the lit up club before they stepped out into the chilly fall air. Everything was a blur after that, she only remembered getting into the club and making her way to the bar and ordering a gin and tonic. She downed it pretty quickly and then found Poe in the middle of the dance floor.

They danced for what seemed like forever, sweat gathering in Rey's hair and under her clothes as she moved. She couldn't hear anything over the pounding sound of the music and she was grateful for the numbing sensation. She needed all of her worries and stresses to fade for just a little while and this was working pretty well. 

Rey was buzzed and was about to go for another drink when she realized Poe was completely wasted yet somehow not passed out yet. 

"Reyyrey!" He ran up to her already slurring his words badly. "I am having so so muchhh fun? Are you Reyrey? I love you Reyreyy..." he wrapped his arms around Rey in a tight hug.

"Okay buddy," she pulled him off her gently. "How about you have a seat right here," she directed him to a barstool nearby. "and I'll run to the bathroom real quick and then I'll call an Uber for us?" 

Poe nodded absently and before he could say another word she made her way to the restroom on the other end of the club. Stepping in the private area, she pulled out her phone to see if anyone had texted her. Sure enough, someone had. 

There was one single text from Ben:

Today 11:12 PM

**Ben: Having fun, sweetheart? I'll be waiting for you when you get home. ;)**

Rey bit her lip and began to type before erasing everything. Perhaps it was the alcohol still in her system or maybe it was just _ her, _ but she found herself pulling the top of her shirt down so her breasts were showing. Turning slightly, she held her phone up and snapped a mirror picture of herself. She didn't hesitate before clicking the blue  _ send _ button.

The grey bubble that indicated he was typing popped up almost immediately after the picture was delivered.

**Ben: Fuck sweetheart...**

Without thinking, Rey snapped several more pictures of herself and sent them all in a row. She could already feel herself growing aroused and the feeling only grew when a string of messages from Ben came through.

**Ben: Do you really think teasing me is a good idea?**

**Perhaps I need to keep you on a shorter leash...**

Rey's eyes widened but they nearly popped out of her skull when the last one came through.

**You know now that I think of it, I do. When you come home you are to come straight to my room. I want you to be dripping by the time you get here. Until then.**

Rey's heart was beating abnormally fast and her breath came in gasps. She needed to get the hell out of there. Now.

She typed a quick response before bolting.

**Rey: Yes, Sir.**

Not even using the restroom like she originally planned, she called for an Uber while making her way back towards where she left Poe. Thankfully and surprisingly he was still there and she signaled it was time to go.

"But Reyyyy I don't wanna go yettt," he pouted. Rey sighed and felt like a mother scolding her child. "We have to go Poe, I need to get home and you need a good night of rest." He pursed his bottom lip but followed her outside towards the waiting car in the end.

The alcohol in Rey's system had worn off since she barely had anything to drink but she was thankful for it because she knew Ben wouldn't do anything with her if she was under the influence enough to impact any choice she'd have to make. 

She allowed Poe to get in the car first and she slipped in beside him after. First she gave the driver Poe's address so she could make sure he got inside okay. 

Poe babbled on endlessly the entire ride and Rey had to contain the amount of laughter that could escape at any moment. She would very much enjoy teasing him about all this the next time they hung out or saw him at work. 

Finally they pulled up to his apartment and Rey walked him up to his door and made sure he got inside safely. He pulled her in for one more hug and Rey hugged him back mumbling a goodbye. Poe smiled tiredly and she watched as he shut the door. When she heard him turn the lock from the other side she made her way back to the car to head back to Ben's place where an eventful evening was waiting for her.

She could feel the insides of her thighs growing slicker as time passed. She was shaking with anticipation as she neared the building. Ben hadn't texted her anything else which only made the whole situation more mysterious. Her right leg bounced up and down when they were only two blocks away.

Her breaths came in pants now as her arousal level was high and all she wanted was to see, feel, and taste Ben. She wanted every one of her senses to be overwhelmed with  _ him _ and what he could do to her body.

As the car pulled up the curb outside the residence, Rey quickly paid and hopped out. She walked on shaky legs through the doors and to the elevator after greeting the doorman. Right when the doors closed and the lift began beeping as it began its ascent, Rey sighed heavily. 

Her mind raced with everything that was about to happen. Ben had never seemed so... dominant before during their relationship. Rey was excited beyond belief but she couldn't deny that she also felt nervous. But knowing Ben he wouldn't force her into anything she didn't want to do and that comforted her. 

Ben had always been so attentive to her needs and she knew he would continue that throughout tonight. It made her heart rate slow a little but it picked right back up again when the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open.

Rey stood there for a few seconds before stepping out slowly. She set her coat on the rack nearby and slipped her heels off and picked them up to carry. Looking around, she didn't see any lights on or Ben so she assumed he was already upstairs. 

Slowly, she ascended the stairs. Her breaths were heavy and louder than her footsteps. The nerves flooded her again at once and for a moment she considered asking Ben if they could just have a relaxing night.

_ No _ , she contradicted herself immediately. She wanted to do this. She wanted to explore new territory with Ben and so what if she was a little anxious? He would be as gentle as she wished and would take care of her first. He always had.

She reached the top and rounded the corner of the hallway where his room was. Already she could see a small red glow coming from the room and she bit her lip as she neared it. 

Rey held her breath as she entered the room and her heart began pounding in her chest when she spotted him. Ben sat in the armchair in the corner of the room with a glass in one hand, swirling the liquid in it slowly. He looked relaxed, leaning against the back of the chair with his legs apart. He looked so seductive as she continued to admire him. 

His face was stern and was devoid of any emotion which was different. His eyes were locked on her body, raking up and down her long legs and torso. He looked so predatory and Rey felt a gush of slick coat the inside of her thighs. She couldn't help the small moan that escaped her lips and didn't miss the clench of Ben's jaw at the sound. After that, all was silent except for her breathing before his lust-filled voice sounded with one single order:

"Strip."

Rey let out a small gasp as she realized she forgot to obey one of his commands. Not wanting to provoke him any further, she complied. Dropping her shoes, she pulled her top over her head and swore she heard a small gasp from Ben when he saw she had no bra on underneath. Not stopping, she unzipped the back of her skirt and pulled it all the way down with her panties in tandem. 

There were several moments of silence that followed. Rey stood vulnerable in front of Ben and gulped audibly. She stared into where Ben's eyes would be; she couldn't make them out exactly in the dim red lighting but she knew that if she could see them they wouldn't be that amber shade she knew and loved. They'd be hard and black. She could physically feel them burning into her skin and she shuddered. 

Before her nerves could get the best of her, Ben raised an arm and beckoned her forward with his index and middle finger. She complied immediately and moved towards him. When she was within arms reach, he pulled her sideways onto his lap and placed his hands on her waist to keep her there. It was now that Rey realized Ben wasn't wearing a shirt, only sweatpants. Her hands ached to touch him, to feel his warm skin on the pads of her fingertips, but she waited for further instruction.

His thumbs rubbed her hips in small circles. The action was tiny but just having Ben's hands on her made her feel so good. It took all Rey had not to grab the back of his head and slam her lips to his or grind directly on his growing arousal. Her body shook with anticipation.

"Before we go any further," he suddenly spoke up. "We need to discuss a few things.  _ Rules _ ."

Rey swallowed and nodded to show she was following along. "First, you'll need to pick a safe-word. Make it something you'll remember. If at any point you feel the desire to stop or even feel uncomfortable, I want you to say it so I can hear. I'll stop immediately and you'll get to decide what we do from there." He paused to ensure she heard all of it. "Do you understand?"

She nodded and blurted out "Chai" for the word. It was what she had earlier that morning at the cafe with Leia and seemed easy enough to yell out if necessary. 

"Good," Ben murmured menacingly. "Two more rules." His hands gripped her bare hips now. "Number one: you are only to address me as Daddy. Anything else will result in a punishment of some sort." Rey let out a tiny whimper at that. It was much harder to contain herself now. Ben's pants were surely stained from her by now. "Second, you are not to cum without permission. Once again, failure to comply will result in punishment. Tell me you understand."

It wasn't until Rey had to speak that she realized her teeth were chattering due to both her excitement and nervousness. But she still managed to utter a meek "Yes."

Somehow, Ben's eyes darkened even more and his fingers dug into her waist so deep it would probably leave bruises. "What did we just go over, little one?

"Yes, Daddy," she corrected herself quickly. 

Ben clicked his tongue in disapprovement. "You gotta remember that kitten, I won't be as nice next time." 

Rey scolded herself internally to remember his rules. "Yes, Daddy."

The smirk on Ben's face was almost audible. "Good girl." Rey keened at that and this time she didn't stop herself from moving atop Ben. She moved seeking any friction she could get but groaned in frustration when it didn't satisfy her needs.

"Does my baby need to get off? So bad she can't wait until she's on the bed but on my lap instead?"

She moaned and still rolled her hips. "Yes Daddy. I ne-I need it  _ so bad. _ "

"As my princess wishes."

Rey felt Ben turn her body so she now faced and straddled him. He didn't waste another moment before taking a breast into his mouth. Her back arched in response and her fingers tangled in his dark locks. He lapped and sucked at her nipple until she was extremely sensitive but she let him go on. It felt too good to stop. "Fuck B--  _ Daddy _ ," she corrected herself before she could utter the wrong word. 

"I love these tits baby. So round and small and perfect," he said before circling her nipple with his tongue. Rey didn't care how loud she was being; she didn't even recognize herself for a while and didn't know she was capable of those kinds of noises of pleasure. 

Moments later she felt Ben reach down and cup her wet heat before circling her clit while his tongue still worked her nipple. Rey pulled at his hair and groaned as he brought her closer and closer to the edge. 

A finger slipped inside her and Ben released her breast to kiss all over her collarbone, shoulder, and neck. He nipped her skin and suckled on it, surely leaving several marks. His thumb rubbed her clit frantically and she whined, " _ Oh, that's so so good Daddy... please don't stop..." _

Ben was breathing heavier now alongside her and whispered in her ear, "That's it baby, I make you feel so good don't I? Only I can make you feel like this. No one else. They'll never get the chance because you're  _ mine. _ "

Rey had never seen this possessive side of Ben but she couldn't say she didn't like it. In fact, she was almost upset at him for not bringing it out earlier. 

Once Ben decided he had stretched her out enough, he slipped a second finger in and thrust them in and out of her at a rapid pace. Rey's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she couldn't comprehend anything. She barely knew where she was or what was happening-- only that Ben was here and she felt  _ so good. _

_ "Ben!  _ Ben no, I'm gonna-"

To Rey's horror, her orgasm crashed into her body like a tsunami. She was coming so hard with no way to stop it. She couldn't help that it happened-- she wasn't even able to anticipate it was coming. Surely Ben would und--

With a growl, Ben pulled his fingers out of her that were now covered in her arousal. When Rey finally mustered the strength to open her eyes she was met with the sight she hated most.

Angry Ben.

Not teasing, grumpy Ben.

_ Angry _ Ben.

"If I can recall correctly, you told me you understood my regulations. Which puzzles me because you've already completely disregarded them." Ben's jaw clenched and without warning he shoved his fingers into her mouth.

"Suck," was all he said and Rey obeyed. She moved her tongue around his fingers tasting herself as she did so. 

Right when Rey moaned and made another sound, he pulled them from her mouth. He stood and Rey's legs wrapped around his waist. Ben only walked a couple of steps to the bed and unraveled her to toss her on the mattress, her body bouncing slightly. She yelped and scrambled to a position that allowed her to see him. He stood in front of the bed just staring at her ruined form for several seconds before turning away and walking towards the closet.

Rey watched nervously as he gathered items from the other side of the room. When he walked back over she was sure her eyes were popped out of their sockets. Ben held several things including rope, what looked to be some sort of vibrator. 

"I wish I didn't have to do this, but you've forced my hand sweetheart. The only way you'll learn is through discipline, so that's what we're going to do." Ben dropped the vibrator on the bed and crawled towards Rey with the rope. He hovered over her on the mattress and out of nowhere, flipped her body so she was on her stomach and facing the headboard and bars. 

He took her hands and began tying them together. At the same time he bent down so his lips hovered over her ear. "Remember your word. Everything is entirely up to you."

His words reassured her she was also in control and helped calm her nerves a bit. She appreciated the fact that he took time to remind her it was an act and she could stop at any time without any hesitation from Ben. 

After securing the rope on her wrist, Ben tied the other end to the headboard so she couldn't move her arms much at all. She was completely bare and vulnerable to him now with no way to hide herself. The realization made her the slightest bit insecure but it quickly faded when she felt Ben's hands caressing her, rubbing her back and slowly moving down to palm her ass. 

"I don't know if you're entirely aware, but you've been a naughty little thing today."

Rey sucked in a sharp breath at his words and clenched her thighs together. "I thought I was a good girl, daddy?" She questioned with a smirk on her face. 

"You're a good girl when you choose to be. But you've been nothing but a brat tonight. Sending me those pictures of yourself, teasing me. Cumming on my fingers without permission. That's not something a good girl would do."

Heat overcame her backside and she realized it was because Ben was climbing over her body and leaning down so his lips hovered above her ear. His breath was heavy and warm on her skin which made a tingle shoot down her spine. One hand still rested on her ass, squeezing and rubbing. "And I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure bad girls get  _ punished _ ." Without another second wasted, Rey felt Ben's hand leave her ass but immediately return with a harsh  _ slap.  _ " _ Bad girls get spanked _ ."

Rey's body jerked and a loud gasp left her mouth. She was growing wetter by the second and Ben wasn't oblivious to it. "Shit baby, you're fucking  _ soaked."  _ He paused a moment, considering her. "Wait, do you like it? Does my filthy girl like being punished by her Daddy? I think she does..." Another smack to her ass followed his words and Rey yelped. Ben soothed her by rubbing the reddening area. 

"What do you think sweetheart? Do you think five is enough? Answer me."

It took a moment for Rey to push the words out since she was still recovering from the last hit. "Y-Yes Daddy."

She could almost hear Ben's smirk as he moved away from her head and kneeled beside her on top of the bed. His hand still absently stroked her backside as he spoke:

"You're going to count them and after every one I expect a thank you. If I don't get one, we start over. Understand?" Rey nodded at first but then frantically said "Yes Daddy!" She'd have to work on that, especially now. 

All was quiet for several moments except for the sound of Ben's ragged breathing. He sounded like an animal snarling at its prey, ready to hunt it down and kill it. He was a mountain lion and Rey was some other fragile and delicate being ready to be dominated by a predator. 

Rey heard it before she felt it. A crack ringed throughout the room and a second later she felt the skin of her ass burning. She gritted her teeth and gasped, " _ One. Thank you Daddy _ ..."

Ben massaged the area for a moment before repeating the action. The noise Rey made was between a gasp and moan. " _ Two! Thank you Daddy _ ."

The time in between slaps was cut shorter. 

_ Slap _

_ "Three! Thank you Daddy..." _

_ Slap. _

_ "Four... t-thank you Daddy..." _

Her wrists strained against the rope. There would definitely be reminders of this night on the skin of her wrists from how hard she was pulling. It felt like every inch of her skin was on fire except for her pussy and thighs were drenched with her wetness. 

The final sickening crack sounded throughout the room and Rey let out an  _ ah _ sound and immediately sighed in relief that it was over. All she wanted now was for Ben's cock to be inside her and fucking her into oblivion. A small smile formed across her face at the thought.

But Ben didn't express the same excitement.

She felt him climb over her again and wrap a hand around her throat, forcing her to look up at him from where he hovered over her body. Her eyes were wide and unsure of what Ben was plotting next. 

"Where was my thank you? You said you got the rules, so where was it?" He snarled. 

Rey's lips parted and if her hands weren't bound, she would've slapped herself in stupidity. She'd been so caught up that she forgot to say-

"Fi-"

_ "No.  _ That's not how this works, you know it. It's too late for that. Tell me darling, what did I say would happen if you didn't count?"

The anticipation of what would come next flooded from her body and was replaced with disappointment and a different kind of anticipation. Her desire for release was increasing by the second and now it would be delayed even more.

"Y-You said that we would start over..."

Rey continued to scold herself while praying Ben would let it slide. Any other night, he would. He would take her in his arms and hold her until he felt they were okay to continue. 

But this side of Ben showed no mercy. 

"That's right. I didn't wanna have to do this, but I didn't choose it, you did. You forced my hand, sweetheart."

She felt Ben move back into position and she clenched her fists which were still tied in preparation. The knowledge that she could make him stop at any time comforted her but she wanted to do her best to take it. The first slap came soon after and Rey cried out and tugged on her restraints before uttering " _ One.. thank y-you Daddy..." _

Rey blanked out for the next few, making sure to thank Ben for every spank she received. She could barely feel the skin of her ass anymore, it was raw and numb. She idly felt the tears streaming down her face as she cried out with every hit. 

When the fifth one came, Rey was sure to shout "FIVE! THANK YOU DADDY" to make sure it was heard. She let out a cry after that as her body shook with the aftershocks. Her face was pressed into the pillows as her tears dampened the cloth. 

She barely felt Ben gently untying her wrists and pulling her up to cradle her in his arms. She was a blubbering mess. Tears covered her face and her skin stung terribly and she her breathing was erratic and she was shaking and-

And she was sitting sideways in Ben's lap, her head resting against his chest with her legs slung over his. He stroked her back and pressed kisses to her temple. Rey's eyes fluttered open and closed as she felt Ben's thumb swiping across her cheeks to wipe her tears away. 

They sat this way for several minutes until Rey stopped shaking and her breathing had returned to normal. Even though they weren't done with the night, Rey appreciated that he took the time in between sessions to make sure she was okay.

"Are you alright to keep going, sweetheart?" He asked quietly.

Rey nodded but he pressed on. "I want to hear it from you so I know you're sure. Are you okay to keep going?" She looked up at him with confident but bleary eyes. "Yes Daddy. I'm sure."

Ben's eyes darkened so they blended in with the shadows of the red-lit room. His mouth formed into a tight line as he moved to lay Rey on her back. He hovered over her like she was a meal waiting to be devoured and eventually moved so he lay on top of her, his forearms holding himself up on either side of her body.

He began at her neck, kissing and sucking on the skin there making sure to leave a line of bruises before trailing a line of kisses down her sternum. He took a few moments to suck on each nipple, giving them equal amounts of attention. Rey arched her back in response and let out moans and noises that didn't sound like they could come from her. 

"You always taste so sweet," Ben groaned into her skin. Rey hummed in response as he trailed down to her abdomen, still littering kisses everywhere. He pressed a final one to her mound before stopping and sitting up to look at her. 

Rey was lost in a haze, her eyes wide with lust and desire. Just when she thought Ben was finally going to enter her, there was a sudden buzzing sensation on her clit. She gasped at the surprise and was shocked she didn't notice Ben reaching for the toy. She'd been too lost in him to notice.

He held it firmly on her clit and Rey's legs were already shaking. Everything they'd done prior had caused her arousal to keep building and with this new sensation, Rey was already extremely close to climaxing. 

"Ben... please please I'm so close..."

She didn't see the devilish smirk on Ben's face since her eyes were screwed shut. When she was only a few seconds away from her peak, everything stopped. Rey's eyes shot open as she sat up and stared at Ben with wide eyes as her lip quivered. "W-what? No, please I was so close!" She whined. 

The smirk remaining in place, Ben pushed her back down with one hand. "Quiet, darling. You'll get to come eventually, but not yet. Did you really think your punishment was over? Keep being the good little girl I know you can be and maybe I'll let you cum sooner."

Before Rey could utter a response or even nod, the buzzing was back and stronger. She assumed Ben turned the level up higher because she was already so close again somehow. She was extremely sensitive and her whole body shook preparing for her impending orgasm. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she saw nothing but black and white spots, heard nothing but the ringing in her ears. She couldn't hear herself but estimated she was close to screaming. Her back was arched off the sheets violently so her forehead almost touched the bed from leaning back so far. 

It felt like she was in another world; the only thing she could recognize was that everything felt  _ so so so so good _ and never wanted it to stop. Her orgasm slammed into her like a truck and if she wasn't yelling before, she definitely was now. Whimpers and moans spilled from her lips as she gushed all over the vibrator. Distantly, she heard Ben's gasps and groans of astonishment.

When her orgasm finally subsided she expected Ben to pull the toy away but it remained in the same spot. In fact she was pretty sure he upped the level  _ again.  _ She sat up so she rested on her forearms to look at him. His gaze was trained on her cunt watching how she shook and convulsed with every buzz. 

"I-It's too much... I can't Ben I can't take it.."

"You can," he said, pressing it harder against her sensitive spot. "You can and you will. You're going to cum for me again."

Rey was panting, the sound of her breaths was louder than the buzz. Ben began to rub her clit in circles with the toy causing a low moan from her throat. He chuckled. "Just like that sweetheart, keep taking it. Bring yourself to the edge. I wanna see you come up close again. You're so pretty when you do, baby, I've never seen a prettier sight in my life."

She keened at his praise and pushed the balls of her feet into Ben's thighs below her. Her eyes darted around frantically under her eyelids and with every breath she took, there was a high whimper. There was  _ so so so much _ going on that she could remember everything she couldn't remember how she got here who was with her what her name was why she felt so good-

"Look at me, Rey. Open your eyes."

She obeyed with all her remaining strength and met his focused, serious, and dark gaze. She could feel the arousal radiating off him and her body proved to be controlled by him when he said:

"Cum for me now."

The pressure in her lower belly was building rapidly again and before she knew it half of her body was arched off the mattress again and she was coming so hard with Ben's words in the background to guide her through it.

_ Yes _

_ God, you're so perfect _

_ This cunt is so perfect _

_ You're gorgeous when you cum for me _

This climax seemed to go on forever and was so unbelievably strong that when she finally began to come down from it, she felt like she was on the edge of unconsciousness. The buzzing and sensation stopped and Rey let out a tired but satisfied breath. 

All was silent for a while, the ringing in Rey's died down just enough for her to hear the ruffling sounds at the foot of the bed. Cracking her eyes open, she saw Ben standing at the end and striping himself free of the pants and boxers that still remained.

The lustful glint in his eyes were still present as he climbed over her onto the bed once again. He idly stroked his already erect cock before moving it to her pussy and coating it in her cum and wetness. When the tip brushed over her sensitive clit she jerked at the sudden sensation.

And then, without warning he plunged inside her in one thrust all the way to the hilt. They groaned in tandem and he wasted no time before he began plunging in and out of her. Their hips moved in circles as Ben hit that sweet spot deep inside her with every thrust causing Rey to cry out.

"Fuck you're so deep inside me.. keep going that feels so good."

Ben buried his face in her neck, his warm breath on her skin.

"Tell me who can fuck you like this. Tell me," he seethed.

Rey released a string of moans and panted, "You.. only you can Daddy."

"Who else can fuck you like this?" His pace quickened, the only sound in the room being the slap of skin and their panting. 

"N-No one. Only you Daddy."

Ben groaned and sat up so his arms framed her face as he fucked her. He looked deep into her wide, doe eyes as he dominated her. "That's right." He said, setting a powerful pace. "No one else, only me. You're  _ mine, _ you belong to me." His eyes traveled around and set on her breasts which bounced with every thrust "Say it." Leaning down, he took one into her mouth making her back arch in response. His tongue circled her nipple and he nipped it causing an extra gasp. 

"Answer me." He demanded.

Peeling her eyes open, she stared into his predatory eyes and gasped at how superior he looked. She loved this, she loved him and she loved being fucked by him. There was nothing else she'd rather do for the rest of her life than watch Ben's face as he pleasured her and vice versa.

"I belong to you, I am yours, Daddy."

With a satisfied groan, Ben continued to thrust at a murderous pace. His cock drove in and out of her pussy so fast he couldn't tell where she began and ended. "God you're so tight, so good wrapped around my cock." He looked down to where their bodies met and a surge of pride overcame him when he made out the smallest outline of his cock inside her.

"Oh fuck baby, look at this," he tilted her head up so she could see. "See that? See how big I am inside you? You're so tiny I can see my cock outlined in your skin. It's like you were made for me, such a good girl for Daddy to fuck."

Rey gasped at the sight and she couldn't deny that it turned her on that much more. She threw her head back and pleasure and didn't stop the moans that escaped her lips. "Mmm your cock is so so good Daddy... so good inside me..."

With a growl, Ben sat up on his knees and lifted her hips so they were off the bed. He began thrusting again, but now he could go much deeper courtesy of the new angle. Rey let out what was close to a scream as she felt the head of his cock bump her cervix with every thrust.

Ben looked wild, his hair was in his eyes and his teeth were gritted so hard he would crack a tooth. It was a sight she never wanted to forget. His hips had a bruising grip on her waist, his fingers digging into her skin but Rey couldn't bring herself to mind. She was too lost in the growing pleasure in her core to care about anything else.

"Fuck! I'm going to cum soon Daddy..."

Ben growled and drove into her like there was no tomorrow. "Fucking do it. Cum now baby, cum all over my cock. I want to see it. I know you can baby, come on, just one more. Cum for me now, cum for your Daddy."

His words were all she needed to bring herself to her peak. It felt as if the world shattered; she literally saw stars which she thought only happened in books but just proved to be true in real life. Ben fucked her through her orgasm, not slowing down until he spilled his entire load inside of her, the warm liquid covering her insides. 

They both moaned at the feeling and let her body fall back onto the bed. He climbed over her and pressed a passionate kiss to her lips. His tongue moved past the barrier of her lips and explored every inch of her mouth. Rey hummed as he pulled back and moved a strand of his dark hair away from his face. 

They stayed in that position for minutes as they came down from their high, Ben's cock still lodged inside her. Their breathing slowly returned to normal and as he pulled away from her it became evident how sweaty they were by the way their skin stuck together. When he finally pulled out, he shuddered at the view of his cum leaking out of her. It made him want to redo the whole night but if he was being honest with himself, he was exhausted and he knew she was too. With a single finger and scooped it up and shoved it back in her used hole.

"That's where it belongs."

Rey smiled weakly and sighed tiredly. She was already so close to falling asleep. 

_ Sleep... sleep sounded nice. _

"Come on flower, let's get cleaned up," Ben said and Rey felt herself hovering in mid-air but quickly realized she was in Ben's arms. 

He walked with her into the bathroom and she heard him turn on a light and soon after he sat her down on the counter, the tile cold against her skin. She swayed, sitting there and began to drift as she listened to the flow of water nearby. Time passed, she didn't know how much, but soon Ben was picking her up again and lowering her into warm water. It made her instantly relax as a happy sigh left her. 

The water sloshed as Ben climbed in behind her, pulling her so her back was flush with his chest. His arms wrapped around her midsection and she leaned back on his chest, sighing with content. He kissed her temple and rested his cheek on the crown of her head. 

They stayed this way for a while just enjoying each other's presence. The silence was only disturbed when Rey murmured, " _ Thank you Daddy.. _ " Ben smirked at the name and kissed her shoulder. "Anything for you, princess." 

He took her hands in his and raised them out of the water. Rey wasn't sure what he was doing until she saw he was inspecting her wrists. There were a few light marks on each and several bruises all over her body from his mouth and hands. He was looking for any sign of serious harm. The realization made her heart beat a little faster. "I didn't hurt you did I?" He worried. Rey smiled and kissed his chest. "No, not at all." 

Her head moved when his chest puffed with a sigh of relief and he kissed every inch of both her wrists. As she lay on Ben's chest, his hands lathered in soap traveled around her body cleaning and massaging her. Every so often she'd let out a quiet whimper of content and it would make his heart swell. He didn't know how he got so lucky to deserve this girl. This wonderful, amazing girl who for some reason put up with him and all of the ghosts from his past. 

After he began working for Snoke he was sure that's where he would spend the rest of his life. Always working and trying to be better just to be put down by his boss. He never would've thought he'd end up here, back in contact with his mother and the girl of his dreams. 

Rey constantly wondered the same thing. After all of her terrible relationships she somehow managed to find the good one. She was grateful everyday that she was forced to walk the runway.

As Rey rested against Ben, her mind running aimlessly through the events of the day, she remembered Leia's offer. She felt guilty being so close to Ben and keeping this life-altering choice from him. Of course she'd let him know soon but she wanted to keep it to herself so she could form her own opinion on it. As thoughts flooded her mind, she also recalled something she meant to ask Ben about. It was touchy and she didn't want to anger him, but she had to try.

Lifting her head, she looked at him. "Ben?"

"Hm?"

"How come you haven't ever mentioned your father?"

She immediately felt Ben tense from under her and she grew anxious that she was completely out of line and should've just stayed quiet. She didn't want to say that Leia was the one to mention it, she wanted Ben to feel like he could tell her on his own. Biting her lip, she began to cuddle him again. "I'm sorry, never mind, I didn't mean to upset you.."

Ben was quiet for a moment and then sighed. "No you haven't upset me, Rey. It's fair that you ask." A pause. "We never got along well. It was fine as a kid but as I got older he was just on me so much about everything that I grew angry. We fought about every little thing when I should've just recognized he was trying to look out for me." 

His words were beginning to waver with emotion. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck, still laying on his chest, and rubbed behind his ears. "This one night was the worst. I had just begun getting involved with Snoke and obviously Han wasn't happy about it. Claimed I was ruining my life and he wouldn't be there to watch me fall." Rey knew where this was going and so did Ben. His grip on his waist tightened as if she'd disappear if he dared to let go. 

"The next morning um- we heard that he had been in a car accident. He was angry and needed some air so he went for a drive after our fight and he-"

Ben's body began to shake and she realized he was crying. She guessed that he had never truly opened up about all of this before. She turned in his arms so their chests were flush against each other and wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. She felt his tears on her shoulder as he cried quietly into her neck. "I regret it, I regret so much of it and I can't take it back."

Rey didn't judge him at all, just let Ben hold her for as long as he needed. Her heart was aching for him; she'd never seen ben so utterly devastated and broken and it killed her to know that he'd been struggling with this internally for a while. She knew loss better than most people so it wasn't hard for her to understand what he was going through.

"It's all my fault," his voice was muffled. "It's my fault he's dead.

Rey pulled away from him at that and cupped his cheeks, staring at him seriously. "No. It was not your fault Ben. It was a tragic accident. One that never should've happened. I know you're blaming yourself but he wouldn't want you to. He'd be so proud of you if he could see you now. And I bet that somehow, somewhere he can." She smiled and stroked his hair. Ben nodded in agreement and Rey wiped the tears from his cheeks. It was crazy how not long ago he'd been so dominant and now she was taking care of him. 

They took care of each other, and both of them needed that so much in their lives.

Sniffling, Ben's bleary eyes tried to focus on hers. "He would've loved you," he whispered, pressing their foreheads together. "Just like I do."

The smile on Rey's face faded into a shocked expression. At first Ben thought he'd said the wrong thing.

"You-You love me?" Rey asked, her hands and body now stiff against his skin. 

Ben sucked in a sharp breath and breathed, "I do. I do Rey, I love you.  _ So much.. _ ."

Rey stared at him for a few seconds trying to figure out if he was messing with her. If we would take it back in a couple of moments. But all he did was stare back at her with a gaze that expressed nothing but his ultimate care for her.

Without any more hesitation, she slammed her lips onto his making water from the tub splash over the edge. She didn't care, though. Their tongues swirled around each other as they moaned into the kiss. When Rey pulled back she didn't stop the huge goofy grin that spread across her face.

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, fun fact: I was never supposed to include the I love you's in this chapter but when I wrote the lines right before it, it just slipped into my mind like it was meant to be written next and so I placed it there because I thought it would work better than when I originally planned for it to happen. I also wasn't supposed to end the chapter on that exact moment but you know, writing happens and I thought it was a nice end. 
> 
> Also let's take a moment and realize how fucking long this chapter was. (Let's not talk about the fact that it takes my longer to write a 3k chapter than it did to write this 10k one) I know for other stories this is a norm, but I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter I've ever written of anything and for that I am proud.
> 
> Lol I'm so lame.
> 
> Anywayyysss, thank you guys for reading! Kudos and comments are greatly appreciated and never go unrecognized! I might even reply ;)


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